Starmen HQ, Fanfic Department, 23:04.

Emily was sitting at her computer, chewing the end of a pencil. Perspiration ran down her forehead as she waited anxiously for her partner, ohboy, to return with news. It had been over two weeks that they had received a fan fiction submission, and things were getting desperate. Without submissions, the section might die and Emily had reason to believe her job was at stake. She began to reminiscence about the old days, when submissions were plentiful.

Just then, there was a shout, which she recognized as Ohboy's. There was the sound of footsteps, and frantic knocking began on the office door. Emily breathed a sigh of relief. "Whew, I was worried for a minute. Ohboy must have received some submissions." she thought. That's when she heard the slice of a weapon hitting bone, along with the cry only given by the doomed.

Screaming, she threw herself under her desk, knocking over her pencils. She lay frozen in terror underneath, hearing one...two...three...four gunshots! As the alarm began to sound, she began to shake with fear.

It was another late night at the Starmen HQ.

***

Starmen HQ, Security Headquarters, 23:05.

Ozwalled was enjoying a nice, refreshing cup of water in the faculty lounge. He spun a pistol about like a cowboy, then placed it in his holster. His shift was nearly over, and he was downright exhausted.

"Two introductory topics in the same day, and four troll topics! Four! Jesus, this place is going to rabid dogs or something." He kicked off his boots and thought about his days as an extortionist. God, those were the times. Just when he was beginning to relax, Captain Muffin walked in, right on cue. "Moderator Ozwalled!" he exclaimed. "You're on guard duty, for crying out loud! Who knows what could happen without a guard patrolling this place?"

Ozwalled rolled his eyes. "Listen, Jack. It's eleven 'o clock on a friday night. Nothing's going to happen if I take a break and shut my eyes for five stinking minutes. Chill out." He stood up and stretched, looking out the window and out the door. "I've been at it for ten hours, and nothing has come up. Give me a break." Just then, he noticed a figure swiftly running through the dark halls and turning a corner. "Hey, isn't that Ohboy?" said Captain Muffin. "What's he doing in this side of the facility?" Then, they head him scream. Ozwalled and Captain Muffin burst through the door. Captain Muffin rounded the corner first, drawing his pistol.

Captain Muffin's eyes adjusted to the dark, revealing a gruesome sight. Ohboy lain slain upon the ground, with scattered fan fiction papers around him, slowing soaking in blood. Ozwalled appeared behind him, and gasped at the grisly scene. Then, their ears picked up a faint sound of laughing, which was steadily growing louder.

A figure rose out of the blood, like a macabre puppet. It turned to the two trembling security guards. Its familiar face was that of a human, and the body looked like a samurai. The terrified guards each fired two shots from their weapons. The bullets only served to break a pane of glass behind the figure, who began to move toward the two guards. Captain Muffin turned and ran, screaming. Ozwalled was frozen with fright.

"What...do you want? Who are...you?" he whispered.

"I HAVE ONE, SIMPLE DESIRE. NO MORE EARTHBOUND. NO MORE FORUMS. I'VE BEEN BLOCKING THE ENTRIES TO THE FANFIC SECTION FOR TWO WEEKS NOW. ONCE THAT'S GONE, FANART WILL BE NEXT. AFTER THAT, THE MAIN PAGE. EVEN THE FORUMS WILL EVENTUALLY CRUMBLE. I WISH TO END STARMEN.NET ONCE AND FOR ALL.

"LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU EARTHBOUNDERS SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR YOU PATHETIC FANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE."

"I AM MEGAMOTO 2.0."