Guys, are you listening? When I fought those kids, I said some things I shouldn't have, and I have a confession to make. I'm not really the third strongest among us. I'm actually the fourth strongest, but third sounds so much more intimidating, you know? I mean, who'd be afraid of the fourth strongest mole? Nobody, that's who. I guess I just thought that if they thought I was third, they might be scared, cautious, maybe, and I could use that to my advantage. Now, though, I realize that it was wrong to lie about my position among the Guardian Diggers, and I am really, truly sorry.

	Well, after he says something big and important like that, I feel like I have to tell you guys that I, too, have lied. I told those kids that I was the third strongest out of all of us, but truly, I am the second. I figured that if they thought I was weaker than I was, they wouldn't take me seriously, and that I'd have sort of a stealthy advantage. Do you know what I mean? I hope you do; I know #4 does. But now that I've been defeated, removed from that wretched cave, I will forever keep my throne as the second strongest Guardian Digger.

	After two beautiful confessions, I kinda have to tell you that they were not the only false #3s. I told them that I was third in power, out of all of us, when, really, I'm the weakest. Hear me out, though. Would you take the weakest mole seriously? Well, would you? I didn't think so. So, as you can see, I lied. I'm not proud of it, but I believe it was necessary. I guess it didn't really matter, since I was defeated anyway, but I wanted some respect. Nobody respects the weakest, you know, nobody.

	You're all such honest people; I feel like such a liar being the fourth to confess. I'm not the third strongest mole, but the strongest out of all of us. I, too, thought that they might go easy on the third strongest mole, and that I could use it to my advantage, with my elite mole techniques. As you can see, though, it didn't work. That stupid girl and her psychic powers tore me to shreds. But I want to go down in history, and not as the foolish third strongest mole, but as the strongest, who defended his position to the death! Long live the Guardian Diggers!

	I'm the last to confess, aren't I? I'm sure you're all thinking, "Oh, he must be the true third strongest mole," or "Isn't he so honest? I wish I could be so honest." But I have to tell you now that I'm not the third strongest mole. How could I be, when I'm not a mole at all? That's right, you heard me. I'm no mole; I'm a prairie dog! Since birth, you moles have been superior to us; eating better food, having more money, and I'm pretty sure moles are even stronger than prairie dogs. It's because of this that I decided, one day, to hide my true race, and join the ranks of the Guardian Diggers. The truth is out, now, though, and you can do with me what you will, but remember this: I'm proud of who I am! Never again will I hide my true prairie doggedness! Prairie dog or not, though, I claim my seat as the true third strongest Guardian Digger! I am #3!