Title: "You can’t open the door
Author: Guest

"You can’t open the door.  You’ll have to get the key from Carpainter.  He’s got it hidden away."  Paula ducked down by the cot and rummaged around underneath it, her fingers seeking along the grimy floor.  "Hold on,” she said.  “You'll need this."

Ness leaned up against the bars, and rested a hand against them.  "You're..."

"I'm Paula."  She straightened up and turned back to him, the button in her hand.  Her thumb rubbed a little dirt off of it, as she stepped toward Ness.

"You're the girl I dreamt about.  --I mean..."

She just nodded.  "I've been waiting for you for a long time, Ness.  A lot longer than I've been here.  Look, give me your hand."

He hesitated for a moment, then opened his hand and held it out by the bars.  Paula pressed the foil-covered button firmly into his palm.  It vibrated a little against his skin, some sympathetic psychic bond springing to life.  Ness blinked down at it.  "Uh, what?"

"It's a charm," she said, looking back up to him.  "I made it myself.  You’ll need it to go against the cult.”  She took a nervous step back, wringing her hands.  “I’ll wait here until you return.  Just come get me once you defeat Carpainter, okay?"

He nodded a little, slowly, vaguely.  Ness’ shoulders were a little tense, his brow a little furrowed as he turned to go.  Paula was going pink again as she reached out and took his wrist, and he looked back over his shoulder.  "Don’t worry about me," she said, and smiled at him.  "I believe in you.  Just go kick butt, like I know you can."

Ness finally smiled, expression easing.  "Okay," he said, and Paula released his hand.  "I'll be back for you, Paula.  I promise."  He slipped the button into the pocket of his shorts as he headed to the door.

He stepped out, and it shut after him.  Paula watched the door for a moment, letting out a sigh she hadn’t even realized she’d held in.  She sank back down to sit on the bed, and picked up her blue-daubed teddy bear.  Rocking back and forth a little, she held it close and glanced around the cabin, with a gaze and pose more alive than in days.

There was another solid thunk of a crow against the side of the cabin.  Paula startled.

* * *

Ness raised a hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he walked back toward Happy-Happy Village.  All the houses were neat and well-kept, with dainty picket fences and cute little beds of flowers.  Even the large, looming Victorian mansion in the center of town was pristine, if a little ominous.  The town might have even been pleasant, if everything hadn’t been painted blue in a shared fit of religious obsession.  The houses, the tree trunks, and even a rather perturbed-looking cow…

He stepped aside and lowered his gaze to avoid a woman hawking picture postcards, and instead he made a beeline for a food stand that was set up by the path.  There was no one there to tend it, but someone had set out a little ceramic bowl that had a few dollars thrown into it.  There were eggs, loaves of bread, and hard-boiled eggs, all plentiful, along with a little hand-made sign in sharpie and paper that said

WE TRUST YOU
Feel free to shop here!

Ness reached into his pocket and pulled out his old, worn wallet.  He opened it up and counted out some money, then tossed it into the bowl.  Carefully, judiciously, he picked out some eggs and a banana or two.

A shadow passed over Ness as he went about his shopping.  "Hey, pig's butt," said someone next to him.  Ness twisted around to see.  It was a grossly overweight someone, with shaggy blond hair that hid his eyes, and an upturned nose.  He was dressed in a blue robe, without a cowl, and was crunching into an apple.

Ness went back to counting out his groceries.  "Go away, Pokey."

"You can call me Master Pokey now.”  He tossed the half-eaten apple aside; it landed in the dirt and rolled some distance away before stopping.  Pokey stood on his tiptoes to peek over Ness’ shoulder, at the bowl.  “You actually paid?  Geez, you're such a loser."

"Yeah, and I'm not a thief.  –Wait, “Master” Pokey?  Why are you here, anyway?"  He shot a glance sideways at Pokey, suspiciously.  "And why are you wearing that?"

Pokey smiled, so saccharine and insincere, as Ness slung off his backpack.  "I came here when I heard the good news of the color blue.  I guess I impressed Mr Carpainter.  I’m truly blessed.  He’s made me a very important person in Happy-Happyism."

Ness snorted.  "You?"

"Don't be that way, Ness."  He tutted his tongue.  "I'm a spiritual guy.  I'm sensitive.  Happy-Happyism is a terrific movement.  It’s the wave of the future.  Me, I'm just glad to help out."

Ness’ jaw tightened a little as he zipped his backpack open and started tucking his food into it.  “So does that mean those rumors about you kidnapping Paula are true?  Better not show your face in Twoson.  You’re nearly a wanted man.”

Pokey shrugged, lackadaisically.  "I might have had something to do with it," he said, and offered a wan smile.  "Does it matter?  She's happy here, Ness.  She's coming around to the cause.”  He picked out a banana, and started peeling it.  “I saw you heading out of the cabin.  She's really something, isn't she?  She'll be a fine priestess..."

"I can't believe you're a kidnapper now."  Ness just shook his head as he zipped up his backpack and slung it back on.

"I'm not a kidnapper."  He touched a pudgy hand to his chest, mock-hurt.

"So you arranged it.  Whatever.  I mean, really, Pokey?  You’re a bully, a liar--but seriously?  Kidnapping is illegal."

"You're just jealous of my success.  But that's okay.  You could join us, you know...”

"Get lost, Pokey."  Ness was already starting to walk toward the ornate Victorian mansion in the center of town.

"Guess you'll just be a loser forever.  You know I’m not gonna fight you, Ness.”  He lifted his chubby chin to the mansion as he scooped up an armful of apples.  “But the guys in there will.  Later, potater," he called as he started to wander off.

Ness rolled his eyes as he walked through the door to the mansion, leaving Pokey behind.  It was dim inside, with light provided only by flickering electric bulbs along the walls.  He wrinkled his nose; the smell of paint fumes was almost overpowering.  The room was huge and high-vaulted, and as Ness' eyes adjusted to the light he could see that it was filled with shambling, droning cultists, praying as they marched about in staggered patterns.  Past them he could see a large, heavy double-door.  Ness shouldered his bat and started to sidle through the crowd while the cacophonous chants echoed around him.  Blue, blue...

"Sorry," Ness said as he threaded his way through warily.  "Excuse me.  Could you--hey!  Could you move?  Geez..."  The crowd, oblivious to him, was starting to thin as he neared the door.  Soon they cleared out almost entirely, to make space for a circling group of priests on that half of the room, sprinkling their devotees with paint.

Ness tried to edge past them, discretely, then broke into a jog as he neared the door.  One of the circling cultists must have spotted him; he let out a cry, broke ranks, and dashed for Ness, paintbrush held aloft.  Whatever was behind that door, Ness thought, it was important.  He veered away from his attacker, nearly slamming into the wall.

The cultist reached out and grabbed him by his tee-shirt’s collar.  Ness twisted around to shove with his elbow.  The fabric slipped from the cultist's hand and Ness stumbled back.  Another hand came his way, and this time Ness ducked.  He pivoted and took a swift strike with his bat at the cultist, at about shin-level.

The bat connected with a solid crack, and the worshipper howled and stumbled back, reeling with pain.  By now the ritual circle had disintegrated entirely and the priests were all starting to come for Ness, glaring underneath blue cowls.  Some lesser devotees were starting to peel off from the shambling horde, as well.

With a desperate, flailing motion, the injured zealot hit Ness with the paintbrush, streaking his face with blue.  Ness felt a flash of searing white-hot pain.  It burnt briefly but nastily, like he'd been splashed with acid.  He screamed, and took a few steps back, his free hand grasping at his face.  The cultist he'd smashed with the bat had finally dropped to his knees, whimpering in pain, but there were still more closing in.

The door was too far to dash to, and the room’s corner too close for him to turn and run.  He took another quick glance around, eyes starting to widen with desperation.  One of the nearest cultists raised his paintbrush...

Ness extended his left hand, palm open.  "PSI Rockin'!" he yelled.

Waves of psychic force--both outward from Ness, and downward from above--emanated forth.  The air shimmered a little; faint phantom colors, blues and reds and yellows, leaked over from some forgotten portion of the electromagnetic spectrum.  The force stunned Ness' attackers; they fell to the floor, tumbled down, struck each other as they fell backward...

“That’s enough,” someone said, tone measured.

Ness’ hand dropped, slowly, and he lowered his baseball bat.  The cultists—fallen, disoriented, a few sporting bloody noses—went silent swiftly, and began to back and crawl away from the scene with remarkable reverence.  Mr Carpainter was by the opened door.  He glanced over the aftermath of Ness’ attack, slowly, and then finally looked to Ness.  “I’ve been waiting for you,” he said.

“You’re Mr Carpainter,” Ness said.  He started to walk forward, slowly.  One of the cultists reached out to grab Ness’ arm, to stop him, but Carpainter waved him off.

"That's right."  Carpainter tilted his head and smiled at Ness, thinly.  But he didn’t move.

Ness stopped a few feet in front of Carpainter, his bat still in hand.  There was a long, long silence.

"You've got something on your face," Carpainter said at last.

Ness rubbed at the huge blue swash of paint absently.  "You kidnapped Paula Polestar," he said.

"That's nonsense.  She came willingly."

"I think you're lying."

"Really?  Do you?"  Carpainter leaned forward slightly.

Ness shivered a little, despite himself.  "Let her go."

"I'd be a fool to do that, Ness.  She is an asset I cannot just hand over."

He held out his hand.  "Give me the key to her cell,” Ness said.

Carpainter raised his eyebrows.  "Or what?"

"Or I'll hurt you."  Ness took another step forward, brandishing his baseball bat.

Carpainter chuckled.  He didn’t even flinch.  "You're a violent child, aren't you?” he said.  “What on earth would your parents say?"

Ness paused, his step faltering.  His eyes widened a little; his mouth opened but he didn’t say anything.

He smiled again, thinly, slyly.  "You're a long way from home, aren't you, Ness?”

“I…”  Ness was paling, his knees going a little weak.  He bit at his lips, hard, and forced himself to readjust his grip on his bat.

“I've heard about all the trouble you've been causing,” Carpainter continued.  There was a touch of ozone in the air now, overlaying the chemical smell of paint, and the hairs on the back of Ness’ arms were starting to rise.  Something seemed to shiver a little in his pocket, as if alive.  Ness reached in to touch to the gift from Paula, slowly, as he watched Carpainter, steeling himself.  A quiet thrum of a chant began to circulate through the crowd.  Blue…

"The Sharks, the Onett Police Force, Everdred.  And here you are, to cause trouble for me."  He raised a hand.  Ness released one hand from his bat and drew the foil-covered Franklin badge from his pocket.  "Your existence is a problem for me and my religion.  Defy me, and I’ll end your pitiful game!”

Ness opened his palm to display the badge as Carpainter lowered his hand forcefully.  There was a violent noise that rattled Ness' teeth, and he squinted against a burst of sudden white-blue light.  The button went hot in his hand, and vibrated powerfully; it was all he could do to hold on as the electricity struck it.  Behind him, out of his field of vision, the cultists were lifting their hands and screaming with bloodlust and religious joy.  He couldn’t hear it for the deafening crash…

The light blinked out of existence as soon as it had struck.  Slowly, Ness blinked away spots and lowered his hand from his eyes.  The ringing in his ears started to fade away, and now there was only silence in the room.  He took a step forward.  Mr Carpainter was lying sprawled on the floor, dazed, frightened, eyes widened.  He looked different, smaller, weaker, transformed.

Cautiously, Ness brandished his bat.  Carpainter flinched, curling into a fetal position on the floor.  "Don't hurt me," he whispered.  "I won't hurt you; I don't mean any harm.  Please forgive me…if you can…"

Some of the cultists in the front row removed their cowls, slowly.  Men, women, children:  their eyes were starting to brim with tears, mouths agape with shock and terror, shaking as though they’d awakened from some nightmare…

Ness squinted down at Mr Carpainter and slowly, slowly lowered his bat.  "I just wanted to have a normal life," Carpainter was saying, trembling, tears starting to run down his face.  "I apologize to everyone.”  He gasped for a breath, looking past Ness for a moment at the awakening cultists, then back to him, barely looking him in the eyes.  “The Mani-Mani statue…"

“Mani Mani is always Mani Mani.”  It ran through the crowd unbidden, hanging in the air, a whisper.

"I’ve been doing strange things, awful things since I bought that statue.  But it’s over now.  It has no power over us anymore…”  He swallowed, fitfully.  “I haven't hurt Paula.  I promise."  His shaking hands moved down to his pocket and he pulled out the key, carefully, timidly.  "This opens the jail, in Paula’s cabin.  Take it and go," he said.  "Please."

He offered it out with both hands.  Ness studied it for a moment, warily, then finally reached out and plucked it from Carpainter.  "Bring her home to her family," Carpainter said.  "No one here will bother you anymore..."  His voice was shaking profusely, and tears were still streaking down his face.  "Thank you for freeing me from this nightmare, Ness..."

Ness took a few steps back as he slid the key into his pocket.  Slowly he turned, and he tensed as he saw the villagers staring at him.  There was no more chanting, no more ecstatic cries, just weary tearful silence.

Ness began to walk for the door, head slightly bowed.  This time they parted for him, easily, solemnly.

* * *

The door to the cabin opened, and Paula grinned as Ness stepped through, key in hand.  "You did it!  I could feel the curse lifting.  Oh, you’re just like I imagined you’d be…"

He beamed at her as he stepped forward and slid the key into the cell’s lock.  "Your charm worked great," he said as he pulled the door open.

Paula scooped up her teddy bear with one arm, then rushed forward to wrap the other around Ness' shoulder.  She leaned in toward his cheek…  “You’ve got something on your face,” she said, as she reached up and rubbed the blue paint off his cheek, maternally.

"I, uh."  Ness went a little pink as she released her half-hug.  "Thanks," he said.

She smiled at him, a little coyly, but sobered quickly.  “Are you hurt?”

“I’ll be okay.”  He spread his arms slightly, into a sort of shrug.  “I can…kind of fix myself up if I need to.  With my mind.”  Ness gestured vaguely.  “Like you that way.”

“I can’t do that…”  She shook her head a little.  “I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused you, Ness.”

“No, it’s my pleasure…”  He opened his mouth for a moment and rubbed at the back of his neck, awkwardly.  “Hey, um, there’s a spot I’d like to make a quick detour to before I head back to Twoson, but I’d be happy to take you home.”

“Really?  Great!”  She beamed at him.  “It could be dangerous, but we can do it if we work together.  I’m ready to go pretty much whenever you are, Ness…”

“Okay.  You'll want to hang back a little."  Ness was heading for the door; he checked back over his shoulder at her.

"How come?"  She tilted her head at him, rising up onto her tiptoes.

"There are crows outside."

"...crows?"

"Yeah.  Crows.  Are you hungry?"

"Are you kidding?  I’m starving…"

"Here."  He took a banana out from his bag and she accepted it, peeled it.  "There's a food stand in town,” he said.  “I’ll get you some more when we pass through."

"Thanks," Paula said, through a mouthful of fruit.

Ness stepped outside and glanced around, Paula peeking behind him.  Right away, something was coming for Ness’ head--fast.  It was a black blob, an angry crow swooping in to dive-bomb him.  Paula gasped.

When it was just in range he swung his bat--hard.  The crow made a pathetic strangled noise as it bounced off his weapon, and it ricocheted off the side of the cabin with a solid thunk.

Paula shrieked her horror.  “Don’t do that!” she yelled.

“Don’t do what?”

“That!  You just hit a bird!”  She grabbed his arm and tugged at it.  “I can’t believe you’d—“

There was another shadow swooping in.  Ness readied his bat, pulling away from Paula...

"Pictures taken instantaneously!" said the photographer as he twirled lazily down from the sky and started setting up his equipment with preternatural speed.  "I'm a photographic genius, if I do say so myself."

"Oh, heh.  Hey, it's you," Ness said, grinning nervously as he lowered his weapon.  "Still making the rounds, huh?"

“Ness?  Who is he?”  Paula’s indignance was fading slowly, replaced by fear and quiet alarm.  She slid behind Ness, timidly.

“I have no idea,” Ness said through his teeth as he forced a smile and looked right at the photographer.  “Just humor him.”

"Alright, get ready for an instant memory!  Look into the camera," the photographer said, peering into the viewfinder.  "Say 'fuzzy pickles!'"

"Fuzzy pickles!" Ness chirped, grinning as he lifted two fingers to pose.

Paula smiled tautly, wrapping an arm around Ness’ waist and peeking out from behind him.  “Fuzzy—“

Click.  "What a wonderful picture!" the photographer declared as he straightened up.  "It's sure to bring back the fondest of memories..."

Promptly, the photographer began to twirl back into the sky.  Ness looked back at Paula; she was gaping hugely, watching the photographer’s ascent.  “Your arm,” he said to her.

She looked back at him, confused for a moment--“Oh!”  She laughed a little, nervously, as she released her hug, and took a step back.

“Come on, let’s keep going.  Hopefully we won’t run into him again…”  He beckoned to her; she was lingering, looking back uncomfortably at the unconscious crow, but he grabbed her hand and tugged.  She followed him, reluctantly.

Soon the village was coming into sight again, and there wasn't a blue robe to be seen.  There were a few townsfolk milling around, still dazed.  Some others were out on ladders, holding paint rollers, busily repainting their houses.

"Looks like you did well."  Paula squeezed Ness' hand.

He ducked his chin a little.  "Aw, Paula..."

"Ness!  NESS!"  Pokey was waving his stubby little arms frantically as he barreled towards them.  His robes were gone; he was back into his normal outfit of grotty blue overalls and a tee-shirt.  “There you are!  I've been looking all over for you!"

Paula leaned in a little to Ness, conspiratorially.  "Who's that?"

"That's Pokey."  Ness' expression darkened.  "He's--"

"Ness, thank you for freeing us!"  Pokey finally reached Ness and Paula, and grabbed out at Ness' hand, earnestly, dramatically.  "What a horrible nightmare!  I somehow woke up!  I can't believe the things I did, Ness.  Oh, how will you and Paula ever forgive me?"

Ness stared.

"Let’s be friends again, Ness!  I promise I’ll be good!"

"Pokey, I don't--"

Paula jabbed the side of Ness' ribs with her elbow, hard.  He looked at her, then back at Pokey, clearly torn.

"Okay," Ness said finally, firmly.  "We can be friends again."

Pokey chortled as he let go of Ness’ hand.  He punched Ness in the shoulder, hard enough to sting.  "I can't believe you fell for it!  See you, sucker."

He started to head off, crowing.  Ness cast a troubled look back at Paula.  "Sorry," she said, wincing.

"It's okay," he said.  He rubbed at his shoulder as he started to lead her over to the produce stand.  "Forget him.  He’s a jerk.  Let's get you some food..."

He blinked.  The stand was gone, and in its place was another handmade sign, quickly scrawled:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT OVER THE YEARS
The food stand is going out of business due to personal reasons.

“What?”  Ness blinked.  “It was just here.  –excuse me!”  He lifted a hand to a passing villager, a young blond man.  “What happened to the self-serve stand?”

The man spread his opened hands.  “I don’t really know.  They said some fat kid stole all the food…”

Ness sighed.  "Damn it, Pokey," he said.