Messages to Dad

Dad! Dad Dad where's Claus
he's been gone so long
and you too, where are you these days?
At Mom's grave or in the mountains
I've searched for you there
but you're not... Dad,
I miss my brother, I miss Claus!

I see you rest your hat
on Mom's pillow, coming home late
of course I'm awake
wondering about you,
wanting to be strong,
but Dad, you don't have to show me,
it's okay.  I can understand you
and you are still a good father
just a little caught up
in this mess, I know.

Whatever it is,
whatever it is that stops us
makes us go farther,
I can see you believe that.
and I thank you for that.

I've already began my search
and I've learned so much
from great friends,
friends I sensed that were there,
who reassured me I was there,
and that an enemy was also there.
We're multiplying our strengths
and pushing through this,
the strange things
and ugly things
and beautiful things
and even some laughter 
we’ve shared through this darkness.
I'm as strong as I can be
for you, Dad.

Whoever Porky is,
I feel he isn't right,
but I feel a heart like mine,
a child's heart like mine.
Is the enemy really a boy, like me?
Dad, that makes me afraid.
I can only trust my gut
that he must be stopped.

Kumatora kissed me but
it was only on the cheek,
and Duster acted like you would
and told me what must be done
with warm hands on my shoulders,
and Boney follows me
even though I told him to stop,
these things, Dad.
I feel like I'm growing up.

I don't know what will happen exactly, Dad.
But I hope with everything I've learned
that something good will happen.
And that we'll find Claus.
I want to find him so badly
that it hurts me inside.
I'm doing this for everyone
and I'm doing this for myself,
that is how I go on.
I am your brave son, Dad.

Your brave son,
Lucas