The Night Before EB no Matsuri
By chuggaaconroy

T'was the night before EB no Matsuri, when all through my house
Not a monster was stirring, not even a rowdy mouse.
The stockings were hung by the telephone with care,
In hopes that The Giftman soon would be there.

The 2 children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of PSI danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my red cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a bang,
I jumped from the bed to see what was after my Tang.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Weilded my bat and was ready to SMAAAAASH!!

The meteor on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the light of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should stew,
But a bath tub, and nine tall kangaroo.

With a little old driver, so skinny and tan,
I knew in a moment it must be Giftman.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Humphrey! Now, Gilbert! Now, Lewis and Milben!
On, Stuart! On, Jackson! On Blinky and Shupak!
To the top of the house! to the top of the wall!
Now hop away! Hop away! Hop away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, a meteor in the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the tub full of virii, and The Giftman too.

And then, with a bang, I heard on the roof
The hopping and thumping of each little foot.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Through the door came The Giftman came with Earthbound.

He was dressed all in red, from his foot to his beard,
And his clothes were all tarnished with moon dust and cheer.
A sack of carts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a snake merchant, just opening his sack.

His eyes-with sunglasses! His bow, how weird!
His beard like molasses, his head like a mirror!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as brown as... you don't want to know.

The butt of a cigarette he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a B.B.
He had a round face and a little flat belly,
Scrawny all over the place, like a bionic girl by the name of Kelly.

He was scrawny and boney, a right cranky old Saturn,
And I jumped when I saw him, it sounded of a patter!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.

He spoke not a word, but did not feel my Earthbound wish,
And filled all the cereal boxes, then pulled out a pteri dish.
And laying his hand, beside of his fangs,
And looking quite bland, out the door he sprang!

He sprang to his tub, hopped in with a rush,
And away they all flew as he armed with the Tooth Fairy's Brush.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy EB no Matsuri to all, and to all a safe night!"