I am the Mushroom Man!
Hear me Roar!

For if you suffer from mushroomitis,
Mashroomization,
Or fungilosa,

I shall be there to cure you!
For that crown that adorns your head,
that shines in the light of your lack of
directional prowess,

Is what makes my day.

$10?
$25?
$50?
You want more?

Oh, I got more!
You see,
a win-win situation is what
we are currently undergoing.

Ooh, purple, is it?
Red with yellow dots?
Smells like dirty socks?
Fork it over, my dear son!

I swear I'm not addicted...