The House of Oshoe An attempt at a parody by GimeC A young girl of rozen hair stepped into the outer courtyard of the castle of oshoe. She knew what she wished to accomplish upon this dreary night, and yet, O! if only she knew of her true destiny! Fate, a cruel mistress, oft clasps its jaw around those it controls - even more often around the foot, as man tries to run away! Certainly, through the works of this dreary night, would fate again claim a victim in this haunted castle. The girl scurried into the main door, unbeknownst of the cruel jaw of fate. May I - the writer of this harrowing tale - offer the reader a sunflower of rationality and logic, as often fate seems to forcefully intercede whence these traits are brought into play. Further, one should hold rationality in deep care, for it shall spare you from walking into a haunted castle, alone, in the middle of the night. Hopefully. The caretaker - for whom he worked, we shall never know - watched the young girl steal through the darkness and into the forboding wooden door. He commented on the situation - "I pray, daresay, that this girl may get away without delay, for in this house evil spirits doth lay. Furthermore, why am I talking to myself?" Indeed, this caretaker was most correct in his belief: nary a minute did pass before the girl noted the presence of various spirits and monsters in this house of oshoe. However, she remained and continued on, unfazed: "Pray depart, demonic beings, for else ye shall encounter a flurry of ice!" The monsters, mostly frozen or singed by now, did repeal as she progressed through the castle. Further down her finite route did she find more spirits - and ghosts. That is to say, ghosts that seemed more interested in spirits than intruders upon their worldly home! Above, however, something of a more frightful sort came within earshot - Clack. A simple clack. Unfazed, she wondered what the sound was. It seemed to come from the rear of her, and as such, she pressed on through the castle in search of treasure. Past haunted suits of armor and long, dim hallways did she hear the noise yet again - in closer sound than before! Clack. Clack. Clack. "Perhaps," she said, somewhat uneasily, "I should press on slightly quicker. Before it becomes daylight once again!" Clack. Clack. Clack. These sounds seemed ever closer, and in quicker tempo than before. She had begun to sprint. She reached a door in the shape of a visage - she knew it well. An ancient ritual, held secretly and solely in the minds of a select few, was the only method of progression past this very barrier. She began to slowly perform the ritual. Clack. Clack. Truly, was it ever closer than before, and quicker, as well! It continued, even set up some sort of sinister rhythm to perform the dark ritual with! Her slow waltz sped up into a rapid salsa - at this point she could no longer hide her fear behind a facade of bravery. Clack clack clack clack... The door began to open, and she rushed through it as it closed slowly. Clack clack clack clack clack! Clack clack... clack. clack. The infernal sound deepened and quieted. She breathed a sigh of relief. She continued down the passageway and up the staircase. Seeing no danger, she leaned against the wall and decided to rest for a second. Clack. She jumped, but deemed the sound to be beyond the unopenable door. Surely, this danger was finished. Undoubtedly. Clack. Clack. A cold breeze blew through the room, wiping out the candlelight. Clack. Clack. Clack. All light had left the room. Clack. Clack. Clack. Her heart thumped. Clack clack clack clack... The noise was in the room now. CLACK. CLACK. CLACK. CLACK. She screamed as she sensed the vile being lunging for her! The noise stopped, and the pain began. She shrieked at the sight that lay before her. A mouth had attatched to her foot. An evil, grinning jaw. The visage glowed in the dark, seemingly content with its quarry. The girl fainted. Thus did she realize the terror, the ignominy, of the accursed castle, the House of Oshoe.