"Who wants Steak?"  Ness shouted to his friends, who were visiting his home in Onett.  He received some mixed responses, but obligingly took four plates from his mother anyway.  As he carried them upstairs toward his room, he smiled.  It had been three years since the ordeal with Giygas, and the world had rewarded him with a fairly quiet, relaxed life.  Of course, there had been a lot of hullabaloo in the beginning, what with the Four heroes' birthdays becoming international holidays, literal tons of fan mail, the multi-million dollar movie deal, and whatnot...  But now that Evil had been obliterated, and the world had thank-you’d themselves out, Ness and his friends were left with the delicious purposelessness of childhood.  But little did he know how soon their powers would be called on again…

    Captain Jean-Luc Picard awoke with a start to the beeping of his desktop computer, realizing that he was in his office on the starship Enterprise.  He walked over calmly, pressed a button, and the image of a stern-looking woman with blond hair blinked into view.  “I hope I’m not disturbing you, Captain,” she said.
    “Admiral Nechayev,” Picard half-choked at the sight of his superior officer, who typically managed to work her way to the top of the list of stress-inducers for most Starfleet captains.  “Of course not.  What can I do for you?”
    “We have a matter of great urgency developing in Sector 001.”  Picard drew in a breath, for Sector 001 contained his home planet, Earth.  “We have discovered a strange energy source concentrating around the island of Eagleland, on Earth. As the Enterprise is scheduled to arrive at Jupiter Station in a few weeks, Starfleet Command has decided to recall your ship early to investigate this phenomenon.”
    “I’m afraid that I’m not familiar with that island, Admiral,” Picard said in his dramatic, Shakespearean voice.
    “Eagleland was primarily ignored except by itself and some other outlying locales, including Winters, Scaraba, and Dalaam until the 22nd century.  However, it boasts some of the most interesting cultures in human history, as well as is host to various sentient species unknown for quite some time, such as the Mr. Saturn and the Tenda.”
    “What can you tell me about the energy disruption, sir?”
    “Although nothing like it has ever been researched by Federation scientists, we have compared it to the records from Saturn Valley.  Apparently, it could be a precursor to a major time-distortion.  Your orders are to immediately return to Earth with all speed.  Nechayev out.”

    The Enterprise dropped out of warp over Earth.  Picard stood in the bridge of his ship, staring at the blue planet under him silently.  Mr. Data, a gold-skinned android, broke the silence.  “Captain, I’m picking up a severe energy distortion.”  With a tap on his panel, the viewscreen magnified a section of Earth’s surface engulfed by what looked like thunderstorms flashing across the atmosphere.
     “What could cause that kind of phenomenon?” asked Commander Deanna Troi, the ship’s counselor.
     “I do not know, sir,” admitted Data, “but I will keep scanning.”
     “Captain,” piped up Lt. Commander Worf, Ambassador to the Klingon homeworld, who was once Security Chief on the Enterprise.  He managed to visit his old crew occasionally, but every time he did, a battle or attack took place.  Thus, the crew was a bit on edge.  “I believe we should send down an away team, to study this phenomena more carefully.”
     Picard nodded in approval, and turned to his first officer, Will Riker.  “Assemble a team, Number One.”  Riker stood up and nodded at Data, who followed obediently.  They stepped into a turbolift, and were off to the nearest Transporter room.

    Before long, Riker, Data, Chief Engineer Geordi LaForge and the ship’s doctor, Beverly Crusher, had teleported down to the middle of Onett City in a shimmer of blue light.  The wind had kicked up badly and all of the doors were barred shut.  Data pulled out his tricorder and began scanning.
     “Commander,” he shouted through the gale, “I believe that the distortions are focusing…” As he said this, columns of white light pierced through the clouds, and strange, sleek robotic men streaked into view.
     “What the --?”  Riker shouted as hundreds of the robots appeared, one by one.  Then, a spherical pod resembling a silver, bald head with a bulbous nose phased into view, and an equally bulbous young man dressed in 20th century attire stepped out.
     “Andonuts was such a fool!  All you have to do to make a Phase Distorter safe is switch the input-output plugs!  Now, I’m here, safe and sound, in good old 199X – wait a minute!”  The fat kid looked around, stunned by the 24th-century city.  When he spied the Enterprise’s away team, he waddled over quickly.  “You!  What year is it?”
     “It’s 2378, young man,” said Riker.
     “Argh!  I must have shorted out the time navigation system.  And without Giygas around, those Starmen don’t have a clue what to do!  Oh well, I guess I can settle down here.  I mean, Eagleland is Eagleland, 24th century or not, and I’ll be it’s new supreme leader!”
     “Ahem…” Riker began, but the kid cut him off.
     “Attention Starmen!  This is Master Pokey!  My first order to you is to capture this city in my name…” As an afterthought, he added, “and get rid of those four weirdoes!”
    Crusher spoke up.  “Now might be a good time to leave…” Riker nodded, and tapped his communicator, which responded with a defiant beep.  The comm system was out.  Of course, it never worked when it was really needed.
    “Maybe we should take advantage of that… vehicle,” Geordi gestured to the Phase Distorter.  The away team ran for it, ducking the attacks from the Starmen.  Before you could say, “beam me up, Scotty,” they had packed themselves in, and vanished into the mists of time.

    It was about midnight when it happened.  Thunder crashed in the distance.  The four were playing Super Smash Brothers on the N64 which Orange Kid had souped up for Ness as a way of paying him back for that wasted $200 “donation”.
    “It’s not fair!” Jeff complained.  “Ness, you shouldn’t always play as yourself.  Just because you were the first of us to be in a Nintendo 64 game doesn’t mean you have to rub it in…”
    “Well, what else am I going to do?  Be Jigglypuff?  Not a chance,” Ness chuckled as he smacked both Poo’s Donkey Kong and Jeff’s Samus off the edge of Hyrule Castle with a blast of PK Thunder.  Suddenly, the TV began to crackle with static. “Riker to Picard!  Come in!  Away team to the Enterprise!” it said.
    “What’s that?” Paula exclaimed.  Jeff looked at the back of the TV.
    “Could be just the storm,” he said.  “Sounds like there’s a Star Trek episode on a nearby channel.  I bet if I fiddle with the wires, it will stop that.”  Jeff adjusted his glasses, and began to push and prod at the back of the box, as Paula’s Kirby did a cha-cha on Donkey Kong’s head.
    “I still think our time would be better spent meditating,” Poo mused to himself, but his mood changed as he grabbed hold of a Bob-Omb and flung it at Ness, sending him flying into sky like a bottle rocket with a red baseball cap.  At that exact moment, a loud crash shook the house.
    “Wow, Orange Kid did a better job of upgrading those Rumble Paks than I thought…” Jeff admitted.  The other three said nothing.  He glanced up.  All of them were staring at him like gibbering idiots.  Ness had dropped his controller, Paula’s jaw was hanging open, and he had the strangest feeling that Poo was about to live up to his name.  “What is it?  Do I have a zit?”  Jeff stood up, and clunked his head on something hard.  Rubbing his head, he turned around and yelped in surprise as he found himself face-to-face with a Phase Distorter.
    “What is that doing here?” Poo said as he went into a karate stance.  Ness grabbed his Gutsy Bat out of the corner.
    Paula charged up Freeze Omega in her hand.  “I don’t know, but if it isn’t Apple Kid playing a prank, somebody’s going to find it a bit chilly in here.”  There were sounds of machinery whirring from within the Distorter.  The hatch opened, and out stepped four adults.  Ness, Paula, and Poo stood their ground, but Jeff’s legs began to shake.
    “Ohmygod!  It’s really them!” he blurted out as he flopped onto his knees in reverence.
    The bearded man with a red-and-black outfit stepped forward.  “I’m Commander William Riker of the United Federation of Planets.  We come in peace.”