Title: The King's Most Excellent Victory
Fandom: Mother 2
Genre: Humour
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Pairings: None
Finished: Yes
Author: Bluewolf

His mother’s shrill voice floated through the halls until it reached his ears, calling his name. He flinched, put the magazine he was reading down, and called back to her in an equally shrill pitch. An indistinct command came from downstairs, and he sighed and got up from his bed.

“Ness, what was that?” his sister asked, poking her head out of her room.

“Mom wants us to do something. I didn’t hear what it was,” Ness answered, “I’m gonna go ask what it was. Come on, Trace.”

Once he reached the stairs, Ness hopped onto the banister and slid down at an alarming speed. Once he reached the end, he nimbly leapt onto the carpet, laughing. His sister, Tracy, followed soon after, but her landing wasn’t as graceful.

“Ow…” she mumbled, massaging her backside, “I still don’t know how you can do that right…”

“Ness!”

Ness looked up from his sister on the floor to meet the eyes of his mother, and she looked annoyed at best. Ness tried to give her a clueless look, but judging from Tracy’s laughing, he decided he must’ve looked like he was trying to lay an egg.

“Ness, I’ve got a job for you. For both of you, actually!” she huffed, crossing her arms.

“Er, what is it?” Ness asked tentatively, trying not to look her in the eye. He didn’t like to see his mother angry. She may not have looked like it, but sometimes she had a temper like that of Giygas himself.

He’d rather fight Giygas a million times than cross the path of his mother when she had a fit.

She pointed down the hallway to the kitchen, where a dishevelled, muddy grey lump was lying on the linoleum, “That! You see what happens when you don’t keep an eye on him!”

“Oh man, King!” Ness groaned, walking into the kitchen. The muddy lump grew larger as the dog stood up, wagging his tail and sending more mud across the kitchen and all over the clean cupboards. His mother gave a screech.

“Children, you clean that dog up right away!” she cried, grabbing a cloth and hurrying to wipe the mud from the cupboard doors, as if afraid it would soak in, “The tub’s already outside.”

Tracy grabbed ahold of King’s collar and literally dragged him from the kitchen, while Ness grabbed a ratty-looking old towel and dog shampoo, “Okay, Mom. We’ll get it done” he said to her back as she scrubbed furiously at the floor where King had been standing.

Once outside, Ness grabbed the hose and put it into the metal wash basin, waiting for it to fill up. He looked at the mess of a dog before him, and crinkled his nose a bit.

“Dude, King, what did you get into?”

‘I was only chasing a butterfly, I swear! But then things… kind of got out of hand and… well… the river, you know…” The dog’s thoughts were heard inside the boy’s head. Ness had been able to do this for a while, and his family knew. Heck, the entire world knew by now.

“What’d he say?” Tracy asked, removing the hose from the basin.

“He jumped in the river, the idiot!” Ness laughed. He stopped immediately when he heard a growl from the dog.

‘Hey, I’m no idiot!’ King snapped, and soon found himself up to his doggy-elbows in very soapy water.

“Just cooperate, idiot!” Ness laughed again, dumping a bucketful of water on King’s shaggy head. Annoyed, the dog swept his paw through the water, splashing Ness and soaking him from the waist up.

Tracy was then sent into a violent fit of giggles, and rolled over onto the ground. Ness growled, and splashed her in annoyance. The exchange continued with a squirt of soap into the boy’s shirt, which earned a bucketful of water on Tracy’s part. King turned circles in the water, causing it to splash over the edge of the basin.

‘I’ll show you what this idiot can do! Hah!’

Many squirts of soap and buckets of water later, a boy, a girl and a much cleaner dog dragged their feet to the door.

Their mother stared down at the three pitiful souls, soaked to the bone with soapy water. She had to fight down her laughter as she looked at the tired faces of both Ness and Tracy and the ridiculously happy expression on that of King. He panted happily, looking up at her with his beady eyes as his tail wagged with incredible enthusiasm.

“I take it you won?” she said, scratching him in between the ears.

‘Oh yeah! You should’ve seen them run!’ King thought, and Ness could’ve sworn he saw him smirk, ‘I don’t think they’ll be messing with this idiot again!’

Let him have his glory for now, Ness thought, ‘Cause tomorrow’s Garbage Day. 
Another mess, another bath.