by Ninten1
When Ness arrives in Threed, chances are he’ll have the Sandlot Bat, which he bought in Happy Happy Village, equipped. This bat will increase his offense by fifteen points. Upon entering the Threed drugstore, he’ll notice the nice Minor League Bat they have on sale for three hundred ninety-nine bucks. It offers twenty-six additional points of offense. Not bad.
After meeting Jeff, the genius from Winters, and beating Belch and Trillion, Ness will come across the rickety old drugstore in Dusty Dunes Desert. There, he’ll find the Mr. Baseball Bat, a weapon that’ll increase his offense by thirty-eight points for four hundred ninety-eight clams. Is it worth it? Maybe not...
Not long after that, Paula will get kidnapped and Ness will wind up back in the Desert where a monkey will teach him how to teleport. With this newfound power, he can travel to the drugstore in Winters where Jeff purchased the pack of bubble gum and the bubble monkey. On sale in that store is the T-Rex’s Bat, which will increase Ness’ offense by forty-eight points. The price? Six hundred ninety-eight smackers. Worth it? For a little while (specifically, a few of those security robots and the Clumsy Robot.)
Once Paula’s been rescued, Ness and the gang will crash land in the resort town of Summers where Ness will find the expensive ($3080) Big League Bat. It’ll increase his offense by fifty-four points and will take him through some tough areas (the hazardous deserts and pyramids of Scaraba, the murky waters of Deep Darkness, and possibly all the way to the last Sanctuary.)
So was it really worth it to teleport to Winters just to buy the T-Rex’s Bat? Not really. The truth is, you should never teleport to Winters to buy that bat. You should buy it when you first can, with Jeff the night he leaves the Snow Wood Boarding School. Yeah, I know he only starts with two bucks, one of which goes to getting the bubble monkey on your side, but it’s possible (not to mention easy and very much worth it.)
Why buy the T-Rex’s Bat early?
First of all, you save money. While this isn’t always an incentive, it’s still being a crafty consumer.
If you buy the Minor League Bat, the Mr. Baseball Bat, and the T-Rex’s Bat, you’ll end up spending $1595. If you purchase the T-Rex’s Bat early with Jeff, you’ll only end up spending the $698 the bat costs. Plus, you’ll be raising six hundred ninety-seven of those dollars just to buy the bat anyway.
Second, you’ll be going against the Boogey Tent, Master Belch, Trillionage Sprout, the Guardian Diggers, and Evil Mani Mani (not to mention all their minions in between) with Ness wielding a forty-eight point offense boosting bat. Compare that to the twenty-six or thirty-eight points the $897 worth of needless bats would have gotten you. You will see a difference when you start bashing your way through enemies once Jeff joins the team with Ness’ new favorite weapon.
You’ll also have a nice excuse to level Jeff up a bit before he meets his new friends.
That should be enough to convince you that the T-Rex’s Bat is worth the time it takes to get. So…
How do I raise the $698 without going insane?
The question should actually be, “How do I raise the $353 without going insane?” That’s right, you almost cut the price in half without fighting a single battle. It all starts as soon as Jeff wakes up.
First, throw away the Ruler and Protractor.
Next, grab all the cookies in the neighboring room. You should have room for all seven of them, even with the stuff in the locker room.
Then, proceed as normal and use the Bad Key Machine to get all of the equipment out of the lockers.
Once you’re over the fence, head to the drugstore. Sell the seven cookies ($21), the Boiled Egg ($4), and the Big Bottle Rocket ($69). Buy the gum ($1) to get the bubble monkey. You should now have $95.
SAVE! This is the most important thing to remember. If you get KO’d, you’ll lose half of your on-hand cash. This’ll be enough to drive anyone insane despite these pointers I’m giving you. So save (often!)
Head down to the shore. Beware of Gruff Goats, they’ll be trouble for you until you reach level five. Until then, never engage them unless your HP is maxed. Once you reach the shore, head to the tent farthest to the left. Talk to the Tessie Watcher in there and you’ll be able to rest. While Jeff rests, he’ll receive a message from Paula, but more importantly, he’ll repair the Broken Spray Can he began with. It will become a Can of Defense Spray.
Now, head back to the drugstore and sell the Defense Spray. This will net you a whopping two hundred fifty big ones putting you at $345! That leaves only $353 to go.
Here’s where the mundane stuff begins, but if you know what you’re doing, you’ll get through it in no time.
You’ll need to go on a series of “runs” where you’ll fight the three local enemies: Spiteful Crow, Runaway Dog, and Gruff Goat.
The Spiteful Crow will always leave you with a Cookie ($3), and the Runaway Dog will leave you with a Bread Roll ($6) half of the time. You’ll want to focus your fights on these two enemies as they offer the most profit. Gruff Goats will sometimes leave Salt Packets ($1) but they’re not worth your time. The 20 exp they offer is nice however. After level five, don’t bother avoiding the Goats. They’ll help you level faster.
Remember to rest at the tea tent between the shore and the School whenever your HP drops below twenty.
When your Goods are full, head back to the drugstore and sell all of your Cookies, Bread Rolls, and Salt Packets. You should usually receive around $30 for each “run.” Before leaving, remember to save.
You’ll need to repeat these runs until you have $698, which shouldn’t take very long at all. Buy the T-Rex’s Bat, save, and then head South so you can meet your new friends with a nice welcoming gift.
Note: If you’re extremely desperate and/or pressed for time, you can sell the Holmes Hat for $29 and the Pop Gun for $55 for a total of $84, but it is not recommended, especially not the sale of the Holmes Hat. Jeff will receive moderate damage without the Hat, but he will find the Stun Gun (+24 offense) in Brick Road’s dungeon.
[Extra: Doing this will unavoidably level Jeff up a significant amount compared to if you had just rushed through to the lab. If you wish to continue Jeff’s leveling a bit, try fighting Cave Boys around Stonehenge. When you reach level twelve, Jeff’s IQ will also reach twelve. At this point, he’ll be able to repair the Broken Air Gun into the Magnum Air Gun (+36 offense) by resting at Brick Road’s dungeon. Each Cave Boy will leave you with a Picnic Lunch which you can eat to max out Jeff’s HP after each battle. This makes for easy and quick leveling before leaving for Threed.]
So there you have it. I recommend trying this out at least once. It took a while during my first try, but I learned a lot and I love the rewards. I do it every time now. Your first try should be much easier than mine thanks to this guide. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as you’ll enjoy smashing the enemies you come across with the T-Rex’s Bat in hand.
If you find any errors or have any notes to point out or suggestions that will make this guide more helpful, please PM me on the forum and I’ll be glad to address it and amend this guide (along with your name.)
Thanks for reading,
Ninten.