What Treachery the Pine Tree Saw
a play with music

Reporter
Apprentice
Guru
Assorted hippie-types (5): Ambrosia, Kenneth, A, B, C
Janitor

(To maximize eb (earthboundiness) they should be dressed like folk in Twoson)

Scene 1
at the commune/park Chestnut St., early morning, late winter. Suggestion of trees, some planks of wood, paint buckets, an armchair, trunks or other luggage. Four sleeping hippie-types, B in a sleeping-bag, A with teddy-bear, others in blankets.
Twoson, Polestar themes

Kenneth stirs.
Ken- So that’s how we are to reach summer, eh?—flying saucer! And how many sea-monsters, do you think? Two for symmetry—yes, I see: one benign, the other an enemy; one in the winter lake, and one to terrorize the sea…moves in a wave…
B, next to him, turns over to glare blearily. A, a little fore, sits up clutching teddy.
B- Already, Kenneth? I mean, honestly, it’s hard on us!
Ken- …and a cute yellow backpack…well, but obviously…yes, a plaid one at first, from the locker—or was it the cookie gift-boxes?—or in the valley behind a nice smooth rock, to echo subtly the hideout-kid’s offering…mm-hmm, a positive offering…so, one way or another…
A- It isn’t even like it’s a proper imaginary friend.
Ken- . . .
B- Oh great. Now, Kenneth, he didn’t mean—Well, anyway, coming from a thirty-year-old who sleeps with a stuffed animal—
Ken- Maybe it’s time to unleash my Super Ultra Mambo-Tango-Foxtrot martial arts!
A- For one thing, it has to have a name. Everyone knows that, Kenneth. Otherwise, it isn’t even a person, not even ‘he’ or ‘she’, just ‘it’.
Ken- I am so sick of hearing that out of you, man! You’re always harping on names; names for cars, names for trees—well, okay, that’s a little sentimentality, I can live with that—
B- You know what, forget it. I’m just gonna go back to sleep.
A- Goodnight
Ken- —and as for the gender thing, fair enough, that’s a fair question—I mean, yeah, look at Spanish: every word is he or she. But I would contend—and my bud here with the gold tooth and one eyebrow will back me up—that to resort to naming a so-called imaginary friend implies a basic lack of faith—
A- Actually, could you wake up Ambrosia first? It really is getting pretty light. She’ll want to start setting up shop.
B, snuggled into the sleeping bag- Pshaw! Do it yourself.
Ken- good point—the ‘He’ is even capitalized, so it’s different—look at God, man. Does He need a name?
A has crossed to shake Ambrosia, indicating the sun. She rises, stretches, and starts to assemble her shop: sets a plank over the paint cans, gets some trinkets out of a trunk and puts them on this counter. A pulls the armchair up and sits. Kenneth’s lecture trails off, but he continues pantomiming conversation with his imaginary friend.
A- somehow you overslept, even with Kenneth and them going at it. It’s kind of surprising, since you always used to get up before the rest of us. These past days, though…is something the matter?
Amb- well, I haven’t been up to sing my hymns, its true—
A- we miss them! So heartfelt—
Amb- —but that doesn’t mean I’m not awake as early as ever. Actually, I’ve been losing sleep on either end of the night, you know, over them.
A- what, Kenneth?—
Amb- no! (the word is a sort of laugh); no, of course not. That’s just Kenneth. I love listening to him—if only I could listen to him anymore, but the worrying makes it impossible: No, it’s this business with the Guru.
A- ah. I wouldn’t stress over that. Hey.
C enters
C- hi. What, haven’t you sold this yet?
Amb- you know, it’s the craziest thing!—but I found a taker for some absolutely junk machinery…
C picks up an object from the counter. Their conversation dims, picking up and gesturing over a few objects in succession while the focus shifts back across the stage.
Reporter enters there.
Ken- oh definitely—the more monkeys the better—well, no, I tell a lie—that’s the very corollary—
Rep- excuse me, sir, I was wondering if you might be able to answer a few questions for me? That is, I represent the local paper and…
Ken- artistic integrity, man! Of course it still has a place in the discussion
Rep- sir? ahem—hi.
Ken- hello. And might I say, that is one sweet hat.
Rep- thank you. Um, as I was saying, the paper has been running advertisements for your…establishment…here, and—
Ken- I dig hats, you know?
Rep- —and, well, to be frank, we haven’t received payment in some time. That is to say, ever. But I was also hoping I might run a little article about this place in the bargain, as it has some what you might call ‘underground’ popularity, isn’t that so? Could I have your name, please?
Ken- what, you too with the name hang-up?
Rep- not at all, sir. I just need to be able to cite my sources, you know, and if I just call you, like, ‘new-age retro hippie,’ or whatever, it won’t be real flattering.
Ken- mmm, I don’t know, it has a certain ring to it. Whatever. Call me…Thomas Jefferson.
Rep- if you say so…(takes notepad and pen, scribbles) well, Thomas Jefferson, I’ve got quite a bit of material from you as it is…I guess my only other question for you would be whether you could tell me who’s in charge?
Kenneth darkens, as the others do in turn when this subject comes up.
Ken- Sorry. I don’t know much on that score. One of them might be able to help you—to be honest, I’m a little busy here.
Rep- Oh. Fair enough.
She moves on to B, snoring and curled up
Ken- yeah, so as I was saying: when in doubt, go in numerical order…
Rep, taking notes and aloud- another young man, asleep; rather high-class sleeping bag…hmm, I hate to disturb him—
Ambrosia- ...on the whole, though, the garden has been the most successful. The herbs and spices and things I package in these cute little jars—oh. Hi there, can I help you.
Rep, aside- Well, I doubt you can do worse than the last two. - Yes, I’m with the local paper and was interested in doing a report on this place.
A- hey, groovy. Yeah, Chestnut St. is getting a decent clientele, and it should start to pick up with Spring on the way.
Rep, scribbling- Chestnut St., eh? Now, I was under the impression—I have another reason for coming, I’m afraid—
Amb- Oh, I knew it! He was some rich square’s first-born, and now—
Rep- huh? No, I meant the name, Chestnut St.—in the paper, when we ran the ads for you, the name given was Burglin Park. And, by the way, if you could pay us for those, that would be super. But what were you saying?—
A- ha, fat chance. No, we run a modest open-air market here in the woods, on the outskirts of town—it’s really more for the social atmosphere and the clean living, you know, than crass materialism.
Rep- so you’re saying you can’t pay? Alright, but I’m really more interested in what you were saying a moment ago about—
A- holy cow, look who’s up!
B stalks by crankily.
B- ah, this just isn’t my morning. First it was Kenneth, now you all yakking away—I’m going over to the preschool to see if they have any grilled cheese crusts or something leftover from snack-time.
A- oh yeah, that girl sometimes keeps stuff like that for stray cats. Mind if I come with?
A and B (who quite evidently does) exit.
C, easing into the chair vacated- Anyway, as far as I know Burglin Park was the name we always went by—the people, right?—but some of the new guys know it by the place-name, the street that runs by.
Rep- I see. And are you, sir, the one who placed the ads?
C- You’re not going to let it go, are you?
Amb- He isn’t here, and neither is…but you’ll want to know more about our lifestyle for your story, right? Well, I like to start off the day with an interpretive dance and hymn to the rising sun, then it’s time to set up.
Rep- Fine.
Amb- And then sometimes we’ll go fishing later on, or weed the garden—wanna see it?
Rep- that’s all right. So you make enough money to live comfortably here in the woods?
C- Comfort is something we learn to measure differently. We strive for money even less. For some reason that’s the thing a lot of the newcomers seem to latch onto.
Rep- hmm. And that irony helps make them more bearable?
C- sometimes you laugh, sometimes you cringe. These yuppies are much more absurd than Kenneth over there.
Amb- oh it’s mean to talk behind their backs, I know—
Kenneth- More Twos! Contact Lenses! Sesame Seeds!
Amb- —but he’s telling the truth.
C- Maybe Kenneth’s just figured a way to keep from getting bothered by them…Ah! Need money for the ads, right? Maybe we can pay you back.
C goes over to gather up the sleeping bag and teddy bear
Rep- and of course I wouldn’t be above taking a little something on the side for all the glowing words I’ll have for you in my story.
Amb- well, how about this. takes a wad of bills from ‘countertop’ They’re fake, of course. Just a little souvenir, an inside joke between ourselves.
C returns with his appropriated goods. Apprentice appears across by Kenneth, unnoticed despite his haughty air
Rep- I like it. And what do you have for me?
C- These won’t be missed, frankly. You can return them to the department store in town. Hopefully that will cover the ads the Guru placed.
Apprentice eavesdrops, growing more and more uncertain
Rep- ‘the Guru’?…was this stuff his?
Amb- ’course not. But the owner is gone too.
C- good riddance. I never understood why he let him tag along—but then why he let him in in the first place I don’t get either. We’re anything but exclusive, but you still gotta draw the line—
Ken- I never did mind eschewing the tent thing for a hospital-hotel system, and don’t forget to call home. noticing Apprentice What are your thoughts?
App- Huh? I—I don’t know
the others turn at the new voice
C/ Amb- hey!/ that’s him!
Rep- are you the guru? really?
App- No
C- what do you want?
Amb- what’s wrong?
App- man, just— he turns with a dismissive gesture
Rep- no wait. Who are you?
A and B return, blocking his exit. Startled, he stops.
A- you’re back! How’s it going?
B- so I guess you want your sleeping bag back? Shoot.
Rep- just a few questions!
overwhelmed, he runs off. After brief hesitation, Reporter follows. Ambrosia chastises C’s bluntness, A and B fairly confused, Kenneth as ever with the imaginary friend
Ken- Does all that garlic really make you stronger? sniffs Ye~ah, it smells potent enough—whew!…I’d still have to go with rock candy, I think…

Scene 2
the hippie-camp paraphernalia is gone, but the trees can stay. In particular, there must be a stump in foreground. Guru enters in fisherman attire—hat, rod.
He walks up to the edge of the stage and looks at the audience, nods, looks along the ‘shore’. There’s no place to sit. He espies the stump. Goes up to it, sizes it up. Looks round circumspect and with a foot nudges it along to the ‘shore’. He’s cheating, you see.
For Winds - Dvorak

Guru, sitting- ah…well, I’ll be sure and put it back, no harm done.
he fiddles with his line a bit now, this is a lovely spot! put a little house there and sell it to those as prefer such lodging—for myself, I wish I’d brought my trumpet, it’s so picturesque, and I’d play a, yes, a haunting melody…
pantomimes trumpet, humming the largo from the new world
he casts…scare off any sharks might hove near. Though I suppose they would keep more to the deeps, the odd waterfall, fast food parquet or arcade. And in the backyard…
he seems to doze off as Apprentice dashes in. He starts.
App- oh, it’s you! You have to help me!
Guru- how do you figure?
App- Well, I went back to check on Chestnut St., see how everyone was doing
Guru- and to let them see how you were doing, hmm? So what? Is the old park on fire? Has Kenneth bitten someone again?
App- there was a stranger there—The Man, you know, but she’s a girl—and they were cooperating with her. She’s after me, Guru, and you too.
Guru- The Man, you say? Sounds serious. Maybe they’ve finally tracked me down for that time I stole those eggs?
App- so what are we gonna do, man? If she hands me over to my family— hide me, quick!
Guru- alright, calm down. Listen.
he reaches down to the edge of the stage, plucks and holds up a straw.
Just slip into the water—you can use this reed to breathe—but do it gently; don’t scare the fishies. I’ll cover for you.
Apprentice wastes no time tramping down the stairs into the aisle, among the audience. Waves arms as though in water, holding straw up in mouth to breathe.
Guru- oh, now really. What did I just tell him…
Reporter enters, winded, and sees the fisherman
Rep- excuse me…did you see a…did anyone just…run past?
Guru, shifting off his stump and sitting with legs dangling over edge- here, sit down, catch your breath. What was that now?
Rep sits- …thanks. I was chasing someone—
Guru- oh my. Might I ask why?
Rep laughs- no, no, its nothing very bad—
Guru- you won’t start chasing just any old person, then?
Rep- no, don’t worry. I was just hoping to find some information for a newspaper article—and to tell the truth I have enough—but they all act as though they had something to hide
Guru- Is that so? In my experience, I’m sorry to say, curiosity really does not do the cat much good. I don’t know if the poor fellow is dead or not, but he is lost
Rep- I’m sorry?
Guru- No, don’t be. It was my fault, really, because I slept in. We would always go for a walk down to the pond here, and I suppose the poor fellow got tired of waiting for me. I come down and see him, oh, just sitting by the water’s edge, like a little statue—you know the way cats have. But he got so absorbed in the pond then as I come up that he doesn’t even look round at my footsteps, just peeking at that water and his tail darting— he was sure enthralled by something…then, in the poor fellow goes…There was a little splash…by the time I run up he’s all swept away by the current.
Rep- aw. I am sorry. He was an affectionate cat?
Guru- no, not really. Not so much. He did sometimes sit in your lap, but it always seemed to be right when you were about to get up and go somewhere, you know? That made me feel bad.
Rep- How long has he been gone?
Guru- four days…Every time I come fishing I get to thinking about him before long
Rep- well, have you asked around Burglin Park?
Guru- Burglin Park, you say? Heh heh.
Rep- Yeah. Hey, if I remember, they said something about a pre-school where they feed stray cats. Maybe you could ask there.
Guru- well thank you. Burglin Park…You seem like you’re pretty sharp. I wonder how long it’ll be till you figure it out…
Rep- what? I wasn’t aware that there was anything to ‘figure out’…Can I have a hint?
Guru- nope. You got plenty as it is. I watched you making notes.
Rep- hmm. Alright, then…Have you caught anything yet, may I ask?
Guru- you know, I have not. You like fishing? No? Kids these days just don’t have an appreciation for the natural world. Riding bikes all around, exploring the caves and woods, fishing—that’s what I remember us always doing. Videogames is all you get today—hmm!
Rep- If you really think I’m missing out on something, you could teach me how to fish.
Guru, sizing her up mock-seriously- I don’t know. It isn’t something to be picked up lightly, now. You sure you’re ready?
Rep- Let’s get serious! All you do is put the thing in the water and wait. From what I understand, the hardest part is keeping awake until something bites.
Guru- yes, I can see this won’t be easy. However, I am willing to tutor you.
he reels the line in and hands the rod to her. She puts down the notepad, pen to take it.
There. Now before you cast it, consider a little the awesome symbolism and history of this exercise upon which you have chosen to embark.
Rep- an excuse to sit around drinking—where’s yours, by the way?
Guru- Pardon? No: this is the unification of the contemplative and the dynamic life—to be at once wise-man and hunter—the interpenetration of the conscious and unconscious realms of existence—the plucking of life from the deep and finding nourishment—the tacit pact Orpheus, like a sweet-voiced pillar of salt, could not observe—the sending out to be fishers of men those who encountered the Word made flesh…
she has cast in the meantime, but listens as he rambles on
Rep- I think it’s cool that this area is still so pristine. You can really eat the fish you catch here? Most places you can’t even go swimming anymore. You get a fine for dipping your toe in just like you do for littering.
Guru- yeah. Looks like you’ve got the hang of it. Want to learn a trick? You need a dollar.
she pulls out the wad of bills.
They pay alright down at the newspaper! One will suffice. Go ahead and reel in the line.
she does
Rep- it isn’t actually real…does that matter?
Guru- shh! Don’t let them hear that!—but what, you counterfeit money?
Rep- no it’s, it’s a joke really, but—
she hands Guru a slip meanwhile, he takes a closer look
Guru- ahhh. I understand. Funny that I didn’t recognize it right away…anyway.
hands back the slip
just spear that right on the hook—don’t rip it, make a neat job… there! Now let’s see if we get a bite!
hopefully someone in the audience will be trying to grab the buck, if just as a souvenir—but try using real money for a pleasant surprise.
Rep- wow! there must be some big fish—help me reel it in!
they both pull, the rope is some way cut surreptitiously so the audience doesn’t see. They bowl over backwards. Maybe the stump will even get knocked over if we’re lucky.
Guru- whew! too bad the line snapped—but it was fun, right? You see how that water thrashed?
Rep- yeah! Sorry about the line…(realization dawns) yeah, but the water is getting calm again…
Guru- I knew you would get it
Rep- There’s no current here at all. I mean, it’s just a pond! I can’t believe I didn’t catch it at once. So your cat can’t have been lost like you say.
Guru- naw, he’s likely as not at that preschool you mentioned, on the roof, getting some sun. That was just a little test.
they pick themselves up from their tangle, Guru goes about setting the stump back in its proper place, unabashed
My pad is just up along the bank there. We can talk about fishing some more, or Burglin Park, or anything you like.
Rep- ok. I look forward to it. Let’s start with—no. You tell me what I should be starting with.
Guru- Heh. That’s pretty smart…If I were you, I would ask about—the pencil eraser.
Rep, nonplussed- pencil eraser?
Guru- eraser eraser then. Mr. Saturn? No? Wow, Kenneth must be slacking—
Rep- oh, these are more Kenneth-isms? Let’s see. He did say something about…sesame seeds.
Guru, chuckling; they have begun moving off together- Sesame seeds. I’m glad you brought that one up…
Shortly after they exit, the Apprentice comes onstage. He is full dejected, forgotten, forlorn; he acts as though sopping wet, wringing his clothing, the reed he drops as in a daze. A bated menace comes over him then. If I had the talent I would put a soliloquy in his mouth to show how the seed of something evil is in him. He pursues them as one jilted.

Scene 2.5
a Janitor comes across before the curtain, solicitous, a spotlight on him, to sweep up the notepad and pen, then the discarded reed, into a dustpail. He whistles absently the tune ‘Smiles and Tears’.

Scene 3
The Guru’s pad, that night. If possible, snow should flurry or at least be implied. Reporter and Guru have eaten and are clumsily building a campfire. A tent in background; a golden statue, broken, dully gleaming, leans against it. They sit on what appears to be a park bench, when sitting. A large pine tree off-center, a few bushes and such.
Piano Sonata 2 - Ruders

Rep- There shouldn’t have been any ads, they seemed to think. A great deal you’ve done remains a mystery to them.
Guru- I don’t mind. Sure you got enough to eat? I can’t interest you in one more little slice?
Rep, laughing at his tone as much as the words- I can’t believe they deliver all the way out here—lickety-split, no less!
Guru- I end up ordering pizza pretty often. It’s not every day I get a catch, after all. Though I am running a little low on money…
Rep- Oh then you should have let me pay!
Guru- It’s not that serious. Besides, this is only temporary, really. Spring’s on the way; it may not feel like it, but before long the park will be full of flowers. Leaves. Fresh air and generous rain. Like from an old watering can. Sun too.
Rep- you never settle?
Guru- that’s too difficult a question
Rep- what?
Guru- As well to ask the pine tree. Snowflakes tonight.
Rep- …then tell me this: what are you waiting for?
Guru- nothing. Anymore. Just a few degrees warmer. A day without snow or frost.
Rep- And the destination this time?
Guru- The same: this forest extends I don’t know how far. It’s bound to the north by the pond here, but east and south—I’ll have to flip a coin. At any rate I’m bound further in. You’ve heard that joke? How far can you go into a forest—
together—halfway
Rep- I don’t think I have ever been even that far.
Guru- It should be interesting. Would you excuse me a minute? he rises Don’t get it started without me, now.
Reporter idles by fire. Guru goes off to the opposite corner and makes to pee. Apprentice lays an unfriendly hand on his collar.
Guru, sputtering sounds of shocked distress- wha- God- Don’t do that to an old man!
App- Sorry. Hurry up then. We need to talk.
Guru- It’s out of my hands…It’s no good. sighs, but remains with back to audience. Are you bitter?
App- Why did you do this to me?
Guru- Please, tell me what I’ve done. I’m trying to see this from where you’re standing, honestly, but I confess I do not understand you.
App- Tch! You’re supposed to be the wise man. ‘Guru,’ they called you.
Guru- you know, that’s funny. I don’t know if I deserve it. It’s almost as absurd as what they called me when I was young... ‘Everdread,’ can you believe? thoughtfully Maybe that’s it. You believe the hype?
App- Not everyone can be smart like you, Guru. I never heard you set us straight.
Guru- Well, judge for yourself.
App- It’s not what I expected. You led us on—
Guru- No. zips up and turns I do what I do. Burglin Park was fun for a long time. I moved on but I came back after awhile. Now I’m done though. It’s not Burglin Park anymore. There is no park except for those who still remember the old game. Maybe in and of them. I don’t have those connections anymore
App- Why can’t you pass them on?
Guru- They can’t be inherited
App- You were never a gangster at all.
Guru- of course I was. Just today I had the strangest reminder, out of the blue.
App- So you push me away?
Guru- I have nothing for you. You were mistaken.
App- then why are you with her?
Guru, shaking head, making return to Reporter, who has got the fire going. It is by now quite dark but for the fire, the cold snow-moon light.- Idiot. You really are not too bright…Come on over, then. See for yourself. And then, please, leave.
App- You won’t apologize?
Guru- The fault is not with me, if fault may be found. Go back to Chestnut St, if you want. I’m told they have your sleeping bag. And your dad was looking for you—no, I’m kidding. they have meanwhile come to the fire. Reporter looks—what else—questioningly to Guru, who sits next to her on the bench, then politely regards Apprentice, who stands across fire. Brief silence.
Rep- Do you want to sit down?
App- Alright. he comes to sit on her side of the bench, but at the end, and hunches over the fire.
Rep, to Guru- Sorry, by the way.
Guru- Not at all. I’m impressed.
Rep- It’s supposed to crack and make sparks like that?
Guru- Yes, it’s supposed to do that…I only wish we had some marshmallows. Nothing like a toasty marshmallow. to App remember how surprised you were when I said that. After I made the campfire—
App- I can’t believe you’re such a wimp. to Rep You know he used to be the biggest crime don outside the city?
Rep, laughing, but a little wary of his heat- So he told me. I have a hard time believing it.
App- ‘there’s nothing like a toasty marshmallow.’ I pretended I didn’t hear you say stuff like that
Guru- but there were just too many instances to ignore, eh? Like I say, you should cut your losses now and leave. Why not check out the city? You’ll see how long you last, but that lesson, at least, will be impossible to mistake.
Rep, breaking the silence that follows- It’s not too late to go back to the park. Or even to your family.
Guru, after another silence from Apprentice- Yawn…well, I think I’ll bid you two goodnight, to Apprentice and, in case I don’t see you, good luck. He heads for a blanket from by the statue and curls up beneath it.
App, to Rep- I thought old people couldn’t get to sleep, or dozed off at random times—
Rep- he’s not that old, you know.
Guru, sleepily- If you happen to go there, give my regards to the alleyway by Jackie’s; I still have scars…
App- Sure thing, Guru.
Rep- Has he told you where he went in the interim?—you know, before he came back here.
App- No.
Rep- Oh…
App- Where are you from again?
Rep- I’m with the local paper, the Tribune
App- what would you do, if you were in my place?
Rep- I…like I said, I think you should at least check in at the park.
App- Why bother?
Rep- Well, what do you want to do? —Why are you so insecure?
App- Would they give me a job at the Tribune?
Rep- I don’t know. Maybe.
App, laughing- I could write a better story about the park and everything than you.
Rep- Mild-mannered reporter by day, by night he pursues his underworld connections…
App- why not? Here, write me a recommendation to your boss.
Rep- I…I left my notes somewhere.
App- I know the Guru doesn’t have anything to write on…Thanks anyway, though
Rep- ok
App- It’s the thought that counts
Rep- ok
App, rising- You know what, I think I’ll write you a recommendation anyway. To the Guru.
he goes into the tent and comes out with a hunting knife. Reporter is by now very nervous but tries not to show her fear. He goes over to the pine tree.
What shall I write? ‘A faithful companion for you… and your cat… through smiles and tears’? No, since I have to try and carve it, I better keep it short…Are you religious, Ms Reporter? No? I wonder why I asked that?...I’ve got something. Bring over a torch, will you, so I can see what I’m doing.
she takes a brand cautiously and comes to hold it for him
Thanks.
he begins to carve
‘Sa-y… yo-ur…pra-yers’ There. Isn’t that good? Now whenever people camp here, they’ll pray for us.
he slips an arm around her shoulder companionably
Rep, trying politely to unhand herself- It will be a comfort.
App- You’ll always remember it?
Rep- I—
App- I understand.
he locks his arm around her more firmly. She struggles a little more earnestly, never able to turn her wide eyes from his.
If they look at the tree at all, it will be just to scratch their initials in, right? And at best they’ll put two sets: with a heart around them.
He turns to her, and slips the knife in in proper dramatic fashion. She slumps down.
He inspects his handiwork on the tree bark, brushing or scratching it gently, then he leaves.

The Guru’s Dream/bowing out
The janitor comes across before the curtain, sets up a sign that reads: The Guru’s Dream. He regards it a moment, notices a speck on that he can’t seem to brush off. He leaves, frustrated, and we hear some rummaging offstage. He then charges like a hockey player from the wings with a full-size mop and sends the sign clattering out of the way.
The curtain rises on the same scene as before, but the Guru and Reporter are standing together, along with Kenneth. Janitor comes to join them. They watch the others—A, B, C, Ambrosia, Apprentice—maypoling the pine tree with varying degrees of enthusiasm, ie Ambrosia goes skipping, while Apprentice drags his feet. At times they bump into one another. The spectators are passing a cup around.
Neighborhood 1 – The Arcade Fire

Rep- And what is this all about?
Guru- Something you do when Spring is on the way. Way before even my time.
Rep- March-poling? April-poling?
Guru- …Doesn’t ring a bell.
Rep- June, then—No, that’s practically summer…
Ken- you need the flying machine to get there. It’s under a cemetery, would you believe?
Guru- forget it. Did you say you felt a stomach ache coming on?
App- she did.
Ken- eating the magic cake.
Guru- It’s all right. I’ll just go to the hospital and pay the fee. It’s a nice thing to remember, but it’s all right if you forget.
curtain.