EBemo

EarthBound,
You are all I need
Other than PSOMagazines.
Nickelodeon bows before you,
EarthBound.

EarthBound,
The perfect substitute for cannibalism,
Flying above Earth disguised as
The very thing we hate most;
Michael Moore.

EarthBound,
A cure for cancer
Right for children and adults
Finds it's way to the local bar
To fit in with society.

EarthBound,
Available in sizes 12-48
Runs steadily through meadows
Covered in terrorists and weapons
Ready for a game of Scrabble.

EarthBound,
The #1 source of junkfood in America
Waiting for a drifter to attack
And steal his identity
To be allowed back in Burger King.

EarthBound,
It's what made people actually like
The new Batman movie,
And the reason why gravity exists like this
Other than Joe's Mom.

Oh woe is me, to think
That I could survive without EarthBound
Filling my life with the radiance of pants.
The entity that greatly rose my interest in SNES games
Is going to be my future wife...
Oh how I long for pistachioes.