Joe, FZ, Author Falcon and Hobo Mike charged the Evil Author FZ with a fierce battlecry, brandishing their weapons of OLDSKOOL high in the air. The evil opposite merely stood there, his arms folded, his demeanor calm. As the four neared their opponent, they attacked with their mighty weapons. Falcon hurled the Defender Daggers with all his force, while FZ cracked the Pitfall Whip across Evil FZ's back. Joe let loose a mighty blast of his frosty machine, while Hobo Mike balanced the equation with an opposing searing blast of alcohol-induced fire from his mouth. For the sake of a dramatic Dragonball Z-style ambience, a large explosion followed, causing the four to shield their eyes from the resulting shockwave of debris.

And naturally, the smoke cleared, and Evil FZ was still standing.

"Aw, the OLDSKOOL weapons suck! Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos." Falcon muttered.

"wtf!!!!" FZ bellowed. "u talkd rite. :/"

Falcon's eyes widened. "omfg i did! o wait nm."

Evil FZ erupted in laughter. "You fools! How can I be defeated when I have the Laptop of Everlasting Evil!? You're done for." He withdrew the laptop and his fingers danced whimsically over the keys. His index finger hovered over the Enter key when...

"Curse you! Curse you heartily!" An extremely peeved voice sounded throughout the room. A purple light filled the void, followed by a rip in spacetime as a plot hole was opened. Out of it stepped Raltise, clearly fuming.

"o snap." Joe exclaimed.

The Nightmare Demon shook a finger at Evil FZ. "When I tell you to let me in I mean let me in! How dare you remove me from my own battle!" The unearthly one took a kung-fu stance, much like Neo in The Matrix, and motioned to Evil FZ to attack. The Evil Author merely pressed the Enter button, causing a 2-ton weight to fall on Raltise's head. Fortunately, being an AC, much like the Toons in Toontown from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Raltise was unharmed. He crawled over to the other four and grabbed Falcon by the ankles.

"You! Why can't I beat him? You confounded Author!"

Falcon looks away, scratching the back of his head embarrassedly. "Well...I uh...didn't want to make you Uber yet."

"What!?"

"You know, saving it for the final battle and all."

"Blast you! Give me my full powers and do it now!"

"Fine, fine."

"And why are you talking normally again!?"

"Because plot exposition sux0rz if u use netspeek duder 8-)"

Raltise got to his feet. His stature had grown considerably, along with his hair, which now flowed like an auburn mane and possessed several more streaks of red. His eyes were now fully crimson, no longer just the pupils. Several black spikes now protruded from armor along his arms and legs. He had grown fangs, and a black, billowing cape wafted from an unseen breeze behind him.

Evil Author FZ blinked. "Crap."

Raltise tilted his head to the side, and the Laptop of Everlasting Doom imploded upon itself. Evil Author FZ stepped away slowly. Raltise punched his hand outward to his side, through a plot hole, and connected with Evil FZ's face as a second plothole opened beside the Author's head, sending him across the room. Evil FZ only had time to rub his cheek and flinch when he felt himself being hoisted into the air by a powerful hand. He opened his eyes to find himself staring into the malevolent gaze of a ghastly demon. Raltise raised a hand, and one of the spikes on his armor shifted down into his hand. He thrust it through Evil FZ's shoulderblade, pinning him to the wall, helpless.

"...Let me go!" Evil FZ struggled against the restraint and the pain. Raltise merely turned away. Then, with one sharp glance of bloodred, the Master of Illusion fluttered his cape in Evil FZ's direction, and the Evil Author was forever frozen in time.

With this last move, Raltise stepped away to find the four heroes looking at him.

Raltise looked at the heroes.

The heroes looked at Raltise.

Raltise continued looking at the heroes.

Then, chaos erupted.

Falcon and FZ lunged at Raltise, finding their former weapons too useless for words. Joe and Hobo Mike played backup with a dual blast of hot and cold. However, before any of these attacks could make contact, Raltise merely waved his hand, sending them backward into the nearest wall.

"Now, now!" He bellowed. "It is not time for the final act just yet. I could easily crush you all with a thought, but it would do no good if you weren't all to witness my glorious plan."

Joe pointed to his mouth. "can u do somethin about this plz :/"

Raltise sighed. "Very well. The joke was getting annoying anyway." He waved his hand, changing everyone's speech back to normal. Then, with a bow, he winked out of existence in a red and purple flash.

---

"Uhn...what happened?" Silver Tyrano muttered, rubbing his head. He opened his eyes, finding himself in a large, shadowy room with stone pillars rising high above. "This isn't Stonehenge..."

"Right you are, buddy!" An evil voice resounded in his ears. the voice of Dark Simon. He turned around and knelt over in order to gobble the psychotic author up, but his nose immediately smashed into an invisible forcefield. Dark Simon shook a finger. "No no...not yet. You should stay put for now. Myself, I have business to attend to..." With that, Dark Simon nodded to Silver Tyrano and walked out of the spacious room.

"Well, this is just great." The Tyrano growled. "Now what am I supposed to do?"

"You could try calming down, for once." A shadow stepped forward. AC Falcon's shadow. Silver Tyrano was blinded by bloodlust as he lunged for his former friend, who dodged out of the way. AC Falcon spun around, and a pair of Shadowblades ala Warcraft III's Illidan appeared in his hands. These weapons possessed sharp, curved blades on each side with a handle in the middle for gripping, protected by a round piece of metal engraved with an insignia. One blade showed the visage of Dark Figure. The other portrayed a bloodred eye. AC Falcon held these blades at the ready. "I didn't want to do this, but I really have no choice. I have my orders, after all." AC Falcon leapt into the air, lunging for Silver Tyrano's throat.

---

Author Falcon, FZ, Joe and Hobo Mike left the room silently and closed the door. "What now?" FZ asked.

"We find where the others are. They may need our help. Come on, this way." So saying, the four ran down the hall whence they came, hoping to run into the rest of their party. However, they had only run a few paced when Falcon stopped suddenly.

FZ turned around, frowning. "What's wrong?"

Falcon shuddered visibly. "You three go on ahead. I've got to check something out."

Joe shrugged. "Suit yourself." The three of them ran off in their original direction, Joe with his frosty machine in tow. Falcon quietly stepped toward a nearby door and opened it. Darkness from within.

"I've been waiting for you, Star Fox." Laughter followed. "Now you will die, just like your father!"

"Cut the crap, SB. If it's a fight that's gonna settle this and get you back to normal, then bring it on."

"Very well." Dark Simon murmured. "I trust you've brought your utensil?"

Falcon withdrew a gold-plated pen from his pocket and held it up. Dark Simon held up a black one. "Good." Simon said. With a snap-hiss, a slender, red blade of light extended from the tip of Simon's pen. With a similar sound, a blue blade of light extended from Falcon's.

"They always said the pen was mightier than the sword." Falcon lunged forward, swinging his Lightpen with all his might.

---

The thousands upon thousands of Ninja swarmed over the group of heros, slicing and dicing and giving them many horrible lacerations. However, given their nature as AC's and Authors, they were more or less left unscathed. In the midst of the battle, Giampi leaned over and smacked Mr. Accident upside the head.

"What is it with your obsession with Ninjas!?" He glared.

Mr. Accident shrank away into the throng of chaotic fighting. "Sorry!"

A loud boom sounded throughout the hall and the floor shook. All fighting ceased immediately. In the blink of an eye, all Ninja disappeared to the shadows from whence they came.

Jeff floated aimlessly in his ghost form and frowned at the equally ghostly Paula. "Well, that was weird. What's up?" Another thud resounded throughout the hall.

"No clue." Skulryk raised an eyebrow at the sound, looking to Liar. "Any ideas?"

Liar flexed. "Maybe it's my incredible prowess that scared them off." He made a scrawny muscle. Giampi and Giampy rolled their two sets of eyes respectively. Another thud resounded.

"Say, what the heck is that sound?" JP frowned. From the depths of the shadows, FZ, Joe and Hobo Mike sprung forth.

"Hey guys! What'd we miss?"

Old Man Jenkins snorted. "Nothin' much, laddie. Just a whole lot of whippersnappers running around in their pajamas."

"Oh..." FZ looked disappointed. "Anyone know what that sound is?"

Jacque shushed him. "Quiet! Listen." He paused. "Almost sounds like...footsteps."

Debris began to fall from the curved ceiling as a large crack moved across its surface rapidly. The group ran for shelter amid shouts of panic and surprise. Skulryk's face went pale. "...oh no. It's the return of a previously unused plot point."

As he finished saying this, the roof of the hall was completely ripped away, revealing the looming faces of Godzilla, Homer Kong, Giant Pokey, the Eating Mantiger and Dungeon Man looking down from the swirling black and red sky above.

"Curse you, Falcon," Skulryk roared. "What'd we ever do to deserve this?"

The rest of the group just stared at Skulryk in amazement.

"What? I thought we were in agreement that the fourth wall no longer exists."

"Less chat, more splat." Mr. A responded.

The Eating Mantiger jumped down to attack the group which was easy for him being the smallest of the giants. The beast rolled up into a ball to clobber them, but JP wielded his Pong Boomerang and thusly threw at the spinning Mantiger. The Pong Boomerang was effective in repelling spherical objects and since the Mantiger was technically spherical the boomerang bounced him back through the entrance from whence he came. Mr. Accident took his Asteroids Ax and tossed it at Dungeon Man where it just stuck to him. Giampy had fallen over in the confusion and now Skulryk was jumping off his back and towards Dungeon Man.

He then swung his DK Hammer at the Asteroids Ax which was shoved even further in Dungeon Man which caused a crack that grew until it became so great that Dungeon Man fell apart. Giampi borrowed the secret box from Skulryk and opened it towards Homer Kong to unleash the Sea of Walnuts. Being the hungry, hungry Homer that he was he proceeded to eat all the walnuts until he had a terrible tummyache and had to run from the battle. Hobo Mike was throwing empty vodka bottles and drunken insults at Giant Pokey about losing weight. This of course worried Giant Pokey since he had taken great pride in all his fat and in the ensuing worriness he lost all of his quills. Since he was now practically naked (Not a pretty sight) he was so embarrassed he spontaneously combusted and burned to nothing.

Now the only thing that was left was Godzilla. Since this was the new CGI Godzilla and not the old rubber suit Godzilla the production ran out of money and Godzilla disappeared into nothingness.

"That was relatively easy." Giampy commented.

"Nah. That's just good writing." JP replied.

"Onward, my friends! The fiends await within!" Skulryk said.

****************

"Omgomgomgomgomg! The authentic A-Team van actually signed by Mr. T. I must have it! " Dark Figure squealed.

Then the door blasted open and in walked Uber Raltise.

"What in the name of Michael Washington happened to you?"

"At last! I have been Uberized! Yes. Quite. Indeed!" Raltise roared.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I hate you!"

"Ahhhh. Is poor wittle Dark Figure angwy because I got Uberized and he didn't?"

"That's it! It's time we duked it out."

"Very well!"

Raltise and Dark Figure. Author Falc and Dark Simon. Silver Tyrano and AC Falc. How will it all end? Stay tuned!

Back Forward