So
one day Ness was walking around Fourside when he spotted a giant
man-eating tiger! So Ness said "pfft this is nothing I'll just blow it
away with my awesome PSI powers." So, he shots the PSI Rockin at the
tiger. Suddenly, the tiger turned into human form! "WTF" Ness said. The
tiger laughed maniacally. "Ha ha," he said "Your PSI powers have
allowed me to transform from a maneating tiger to an eating mantiger!
Here is your reward!" With saying so, the eating mantiger cast an evil
spell on Ness that turned him into a girl. Nessia squealed and ran
away. Meanwhile, the eating mantiger began to systematically devour the
city of Fourside. Suddenly, out of the blue, a figure plummeted from
the sky and died instantly.
Thankfully, its ghost stood up, and, not being able to recognize what
it was before it was flattened, started on a life of trying to find its
true identity.
*play sad, searching music*
Why, god, why.
Then Gauntlet posted because Falc is a slave driver.
So a truck was driving through Fourside at a good, oh, 80 miles per
hour. Suddenly a small car came to a stop right in front of him... SO
HE RAN IT OVER WITH HIS SUPER TRUCK POWERS! Then the truck went
airborne and did a barrel roll for good measure before landing on top
of a nearby convenience store.
The store manager ran out cursing at the truck driver when all of a
sudden the mantiger breathed a giant fireball on the store (because a
mantiger like that has those kinds of powers.) The entire store was
burnt to a crisp.
Meanwhile the manager stood in disbelief wondering if that was
incredibly good luck or incredibly bad luck. He then cursed at the
mantiger, who had now moved several blocks away where he was now trying
to eat a giant donut display.
Homer Kong appeared and ate the mantiger. After grabbing Nessia, he climbed the Monotoli skyscraper and the universe ended.
And then Stephen Hawking came and explained how.
But no one heard him because at that moment the end.
Then Nessia turned back into a guy and poked Homer Kong in the eye.
Homer Kong fell off the Monotoli building and made a large crater in
the ground that resulted in him falling through to China.
However, a giant spiky shell suddenly rose up from the crater! It was
Lavos, well actually it wasn't Lavos it was Pokey, see because Pokey
had gained a lot of weight and turned into a porcupine. Pokey shot
spikes up and they flew into the sky and pierced Dalaam. Suddenly,
Dalaam started to fall. It fell in chunks and crashed into Winters,
completely annihilating it. Then, a giant tidal wave formed from the
impact and headed toward Summers, where it ultimately crashed into it
and wiped the beach resort off the face of the map.
Meanwhile, Ness had taken a helicopter and he was flying around all cool-like and shooting at the giant Pokey.
Then Godzilla arose from the ocean and everybody started running around screaming, "GOJIRA!!!!"
Then Godzilla used his atomic fire breath to burn Pokey to a crisp.
Then Godzilla ate some nuclear waste and became Super Godzilla! Then
Ness' head exploded.
Then Ness' brain crawled toward super Godzilla and tripped it with his
brain stem. So, Super Godzilla fell back into the ocean and got eaten
alive by sharks. Ness' brain needed to get back inside of Ness, but it
had to think about how he would do it. But before his brain finished
thinking up a plan, a famous chef picked up the brain.
It was Chef Boyardee, and he wanted to cook Ness' brain and put it into
one of his cans of canned spaghetti. But Chef Boyardee was too grossed
out by Ness' brains to cook it, so Chef Boyardee vomited his guts up,
and then Ness' brains started fighting with the Chef's guts.
So Ness was a courteous citizen and cleaned up the guts, picked up his
brain, ate seven grapes, shaved a lama, dropped a dime, helped an old
lady, helped an old man, helped an elderly citizen, helped a feeble
citizen, baked some nachos, ended world hunger, wrote a book, arrested
all the street punks, and made world peace. But then the Earth fell out
of orbit and someone had to end this lunacy once and for all.
However this would not just be "someone". This would be Hojobobo, the
multiflavored Pocky stick. This was no ordinary Pocky stick. It did not
make the sound "Pocky" when you broke it in half. Instead, it made the
sound...
This is getting dumb.
You're just noticing this now?
And then stuff happened and they all died the end.