BLONDE BLONDE!

By: nessdude15

Author's note:
Well, I originally thought I wouldn't be doing this, but I guess I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to enter in the Halloween Funfest, and here I am... This might not be the best idea ever, but I hope it will be funny and amusing. Enough about that. Enjoy the story! (I hope...)

* * *

"Man what's going on? I would have thought that Halloween would be Threed's favorite holiday, but there's no one in sight!" Ness said, looking around at the dark, empty town with a puzzled look on his face.

"Maybe they're all scared of that ridiculous Mr. Saturn costume you're wearing!" Said Paula, who was standing beside Ness, snickering.

"Well, Paula, I can't say that your Cave Boy costume is very tasteful either." said Jeff, who had come to Threed dressed as his father Dr. Andonuts, wishing to load up on Halloween candy.

"Yea, plus my mom spent days sewing this thing!" Ness said, as he flipped the top of the Mr. Saturn costume's head in an attenpt to get some fresh air.

"Whatever, guys, let's just try to find out what happened to all of these people!" Paula replied. She stood silent in the middle of Threed's mainstreet scanning the deserted buildings.

"Where could they have gone?" Ness thought out loud. "It looks like everyone just picked up and left!"

"That's precisely what they did." Jeff said, pointing at the grass in the park to the south of them. Ness turned around to see what Jeff was pointing at.

"Now that is alot of footprints!" Ness exclaimed, looking at the grass where hundreds of footprints were all headed in the same direction towards the middle of the park where the circus had been last summer.

"They might have some kind of Halloween gathering in the middle of the park." said Paula. "Let's go check it out." she added as she began following the footprints. Jeff and Ness followed, and they soon reached the middle of the park.

"Is the circus in town again? At this time of the year?" Ness wondered as he peered at the giant circus tent that still stood in the middle of Threed's park. It was lit up like a Christmas Tree. Lights were hung outside, and a bright yellow light came from the open tent flap.

"Well there's only one thing to do!" Ness said as he walked towards the open tent flap. As he neared, a beautiful woman with a sparkling black dress, high heeled shoes, and glittery blonde hair walked out slowly. She motioned for Ness to follow her in.

"SCORE!" Ness yelled as ran towards the beautiful blonde woman.

"Wait Ness! Don't you remember the last time you followed a beautiful blonde woman into a building!?" Paula yelled, but it was too late. Ness had already made his way inside the tent.

"I won't even ask..." Jeff said, shaking his head. "Let's go see what's going on." He added as he and Paula began running towards the open tent. They arrived at the opening and found Ness standing dumb-founded at the tent's contents.

"That must be the entire population of Threed in there!" Ness exclaimed as he stared into the lit up circus tent at the hundreds of blonde haired people gathered together in a large mob. They all were moving right to left in a syoncrinized manner, and chanting 'Blonde Blonde' in monotnous voices.

"Yea, this reminds me of that Blue cult in the Happy Happy Villiage... They have the syncronized movements and the droning chant..." Paula replied.

"Interesting. And how do we get through them?" Jeff asked.

"Well, we have to find the ones that are out of sync. They aren't totally zombified yet. They'll move and allow us to get to the other side and find out who their leader is." Ness answered.

"There's one!" Paula said, pointing at a woman in a classy black dress, with newly dyed blonde hair. They walked over to her.

"Hey, let us through!" Ness demanded.

"Brunette! Brunette!" The lady answered. "Bah! I suck at this being blonde thing! Move quickly!" The lady said, moving out of their way, breaking the chain of bodies. With Ness in the lead, they continued through the blonde maze, trying to block out the monotnous blonde, blonde chant. The maze led them into the middle of the tent, where they found another chain of bodies blocking their path.

"Hey there's one!" Jeff said, pointing at a man in his 40's with a black tuxedo, a thinning blonde hairline, and a bushy blonde mustache. They walked over towards him.

"Balding blondie..." The man said "Ghaa! This infuriates me!" The angry blonde man said, engaging Ness, Paula, and Jeff. He jumped forward, fists flying. Ness nimbly moved out of the way, and tripped the old man with his foot. Jeff turned his Gaia Beam to stun and shot the man in the back.

"He won't be giving us anymore trouble." Jeff said, walking towards the new gap in the wall of zombies. Another little zombie maze followed. Near the back of the tent, a thin, makeshift wooden wall met them. Ness kicked in the short little locked door, revealing a little office-type place with a desk placed on the grass floor.

"Ah, my friends, so nice to see you!" Said Pokey, who was sitting in a leather reclining chair with his feet propped up on the desk.

"I should have known you would be behind something so absurd as this." Ness said, shaking his head.

"Who else could be bhind the best Halloween prank ever!?" Pokey replied. "You see, I started here in Threed, dying people's hair blonde, and them hypnotizing them with this little toy Mr. Carpainter left behind!" He added, holding up a little device with a spinning sprial disk in the center. "First Threed...next the world!" Pokey added with an evil laugh.

"Only a blonde could think up of something this stupid..." Ness said, shaking his head.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!" Paula yelled as she pulled out her Holy Frying Pan and whacked Ness on the side of his head. Ness felt quite dizzy, and fell to the ground unconcious.

"That'll teach him to steryotype blondes again!" Paula said.

"That's right! I'm blonde, and I'm a genius!" Jeff added.

"Well that's an easy way to get rid of your biggest threat..." Pokey thought to himself. "Hey what a coincidence! You guys don't even have to dye your hair to become part of my little club!" He said to Paula and Jeff with a crooked smile on his chubby face.

"Hey, don't think you can get us that easy." Paula replied. "I'll need the glittery dress, the high heels, I'll need my hair styled, a manicure, pedicure, and anything to get me out of this cave man costume!"

"Right this way." Pokey said, leading her through a curtain on the right side of his desk, where a few blonde drones were waiting to beautify Pokey's new victim.

"And you Jeff! My friend! Will you be joining my little club as well?"

"No way. You know Ness and I will eventually beat you again anyways."

"I hate you guys always trying to spoil my fun!" Pokey yelled angrily. "That's it...it's all fun." he added, turning on his hyonotic device.

"It's all fun." A hypnotized Jeff said, following Pokey through a curtain on the other side of the desk where a new black tuxedo and polished black shoes awaited him, leaving Ness laying unconcious on the floor of Pokey's makeshift office.

What will become of our hero and his friends!? Will-

*Narrator is sucked into delirium on account of his blonde hair*

* * *

Ness woke up the next morning, November 1st, with a splitting headache.

"Man, that was the worst Halloween nightmare I've ever had!" He exclaimed as he got up onto his feet and looked around at his dark, dirty surroundings. "Hey, wait a sec! This isn't my room! And where did my Mr. Saturn costume go!? How did I get this tuxedo!?" He yelled to himself, perplexed

"Hey... This is the same room that those zombies put me and Paula in last summer!" He realized, looking over at the metal door, and the steps on the other side leading up to the graveyard. "But that must mean I'm in Threed...Uh oh..." He thought as he ran over to the shiny metal door and looked at his reflection.

"HOLY CRAP THEY DIED MY HAIR BLONDE!!!" He screamed. "THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!" he added, near tears.

"That is it! This is the last straw!" He thought as he kicked in the locked metal door, and marched up the stairs. At the top, he found himself in one of Threed's numerous graveyards. Although the sun was shining brightly in the sky, it was quite a brisk morning. White frost blanketed the grass.

"I have to find some black hair dye!" Ness said softly to himself. "To the drugstore!" he decided as he began running swiftly to the south where Threed's drugstore was located. He eventually reached Threed's mainstreet where a few blond zombies were milling about. They seemed not to notice him, probably because of his dyed blonde hair. He found the drugstore, pushed open the glass front foor, and dashed towards the cosmetics section.

"Ah, my beautiful black hair." he thought to himself, picking up a can of black spray-dye. He then sprayed it generously on his head, turning his hair back to black. "Okay, that's better...but what will I do about everyone else...I got it! I'll get one of these tool belts," he said, picking up a large toolbelt from the tools section. "And a bunch of these cans," He added, putting numerous black hair dye cans intp the little slots on the belt, "I'll this stuff, and attack Pokey with them!" He excitedly yelled as he ran out the front door of the Drug Store. He ran into the park towards the large circus tent, making sure none of the blonde zombies saw him. He stealthily walked up to the entrance. He stepped in the doorway. All of the blondies left in the tent saw his black hair and immediately charged him. Ness dodged a few attacks and succeeded in spraying a few of the zombies' hair with the black spray. The blondies were too pre-occupied with dying their cohorts' hair back to blonde to notice Ness slip pass them to the other side of the tent where the wooden door to Pokey's office was. Ness pushed open the broken door that he had kicked in the night before, and saw Pokey asleep in his recliner. He was snoring as loud as anyone Ness had ever heard, and would have woken up the entire town if the entire population hadn't been zombies.

"This is gonna be great." Ness thoguht as he quietly tip-toed up to the recliner where Pokey was sleeping. He pulled out two fresh cans of dye and began spraying. A few minutes later, he was finished, and was very pleased with work. He took a deep breath.

"WAKE UP POKEY!!!" Ness yelled as loud as he possibly could.

"Huh? What?" Pokey said as he jerked awake, and looked over at Ness. "It's you again! Grrr... I see you've managed to escape from our prison, AND dye your hair back to black." He added, with an agitated look on his face.

"I'm not the only one in here with new shiny black hair!" Ness replied, smirking.

"You didn't!" Pokey said, pulling a mirror off his desk. "YOU DID!! I hate you with all of my being, Ness! But no matter." He said, calming down. "I'll just get my two new minions to beat you up!" He pressed a button on the bottom of his desk, and two doors behind the desk opened. A zombified Paula and Jeff stepped out, and seeing Ness's black hair, immediately attacked.

"Oh, great, I can't fight them!" Ness exclaimed, dodging a laser from Jeff's Gaia Beam.

"That's the beauty of it!" Pokey replied. "They're gonna beat you up, and there's nothing a do-gooder like you will do about it!" Ness continued to dodge Jeff's lasers, and Paula's PSI attacks, but after a while he began to show signs of fatigue. "You can't dodge forever Ness. Eventually you're gonna get too tired, and they're gonna hit you!"

"He's right..." Ness thought to himself. "I have to find a way to stop them without hurting them!" Ness then stopped for a second and slapped himself in the forehead. "Of course! I feel so stupid now." he thought as he pulled out his last two hair dye cans, leaped behind Paula and Jeff and began spraying. After a while, both of their heads were totally black, and they immediately snapped out of their hypnotized state.

"Man, what happened!? Last thing I remember, I was putting on that shiny dress." Paula said.

"Yea, and the last thing I remember is seeing that spinning spiral thing." Jeff added.

"You both were hypnotized by Pokey." Ness said, pointing over to Pokey who was cowering under his desk.

"I see. How did you snap us out of it?" Jeff asked. Ness picked the mirror up off of Pokey's desk and gave it to him. Jeff grimaced. Paula looked over Jeff's shoulder so that she could see her reflection.

"Ness I hate you so much, how could you have dyed my beautiful blonde hair!?" Paula shrieked.

"Hey, now, don't be so hasty. It was the only way I could get you two to stop attacking me!" Ness replied.

"Yes, Paula, He did what he had to do. If anything, we should be thanking him" Jeff said. "Now we need to save the rest of the people of Threed."

"And I know just the person to help us!" Ness said, grinning at Pokey.

"Oh no! You'll never get me" Pokey replied as he jumped from under his desk and ran out of the tent.

"I'll be right back." Ness said to Jeff and Paula as he ran after Pokey. Luckily, Pokey's short, fat legs couldn't carry him very fast, and Ness caught up with him before he got very far. He pulled him back through the tent into the little office by his ear.

"OW OW! Stop! I'll help!" Pokey said, as he and Ness walked through the little doorway.

"So, Pokey can you fix this little problem you created?" Paula asked him.

"Yes." Pokey grumbled as he walked over to his desk and picked up his little hypnotizing device. "First, I'll call them to me." He said as he flipped a switch on the device. A loud, high-pitched sound rang, causing Ness, Paula, and Jeff to hold their ears. Blond zombies began filing into the tent. When they all had gathered, they began the Blonde, Blonde chant once again.

"Okay, now what?" Ness asked.

"Now I reverse the spiral on the device." Pokey grumbled as he flipped another switch. The spiral began rotating the opposite way, and the people if Threed were instantly de-zombified. They all looked around at each other, shocked at their surroundings. Ness eventually got their attention and began to explain the situation.

"I bet you are all wondering why your hair is blonde." Ness said. "Well, its all this guy's fault." He added, pointing to Pokey. "You see, he thought it would be a great Halloween prank to hypnotize all of you, dye all of your hair blonde, and form you into a cult with which he would take over the world! But not to worry! My friends and I have once again saved your town! And because he ruined all of our Halloweens, I'm going to let you have at him!" Ness concluded, throwing Pokey into the middle of Threed's people that had now become an angry mob. About fifteen minutes later, Pokey crawled out of the mob, torn clothes, dirty face, and all. But there was more to Pokey's new appearance.

"HAHAHAHA! Pokey! they dyed your hair rainbow!" Ness exclaimed, bursting into laughter.

"You look like a homeless clown!!" Paula added, as she fell to the ground holding her stomach.

"Looks like you got what was coming to ya!" Jeff said, his eyes tearing up.

At this point, Pokey was furious. He ran into his office, and flipped another switch under his desk. A large trap door opened up in the middle of the room in front of his desk. He jumped in, and emerged seconds later in his Spider Mech.

"You may have defeated me again, but you haven't heard the last of Pokey Minch!" He yelled as he pulled a lever inside the mech and disappeared into thin air. Ness called the people of Threed to order once again.

"People of Threed! Pokey Minch, the twisted being that brought all of this trouble upon us, has gone. Go back to your daily lives and act as if this had never happened!" Ness said to them.

It was mid-day and everyone in Threed had retured to their homes. Ness, Paula, and Jeff changed out of their tuxedos, and dress, and back into their halloween costumes, that they had found behind the dressing-room curtains inside Pokey's office. Things had calmed down a bit, and Ness prepared to teleport Jeff and Paula back to their homes.

"Well, we defeated Pokey once again, but he sure did ruin our Halloween!" Paula said as she took her place behind Ness, as he was preparing to teleport.

"Yea, well, there's always next year..." Ness replied as teleported off towards the Snow Wood Boarding School in Winters; the first step on his trip back home.