Ness vs. Mewtwo

One morning Ness woke up and discovered he really wanted to teleport somewhere and kick someone's butt. So he had a big, healthy breakfast of Wheaties, packed his bat and yo-yo, and teleported without really setting a destination.

Meanwhile, somewhere in a valley...

A dark silence began to sweep across the ground. The mice, the grasshoppers, the sounds of the very rocks themselves were muted, as the evil destruction of sound crawled toward the edge of the valley. Something wicked was waking up...

Mewtwo woke up. He stretched, yawned, and then his psychic powers began to pull him away. There it was, the tugging of a great disturbance. As he stood up, he looked to the west, knowing that his new challenge was waiting there. He took off into the air, unknowing of his purpose, moving on instinct.

Ness landed with the usual explosion of ash and debris. He wished there was a better way to stop. After shaking off the dust, he took a look around. It was a pretty desolate place; a whole lot of nothing anywhere he could see.

"Nothing here," he muttered to himself. "This must be... the end of time."

Suddenly, he saw something. A bright flash... a human... no, wait, was that a tail? He headed toward the humanoid, whatever it was.

Mewtwo looked with interest at the odd figure coming toward him. It was some kind of human, seemingly built out of clay. What an odd way to make a human, he thought to himself.

Ness came close enough to the humanoid to see it more clearly. It was some kind of giant cartoon cat. "Who is this?" he asked himself. Then, he suddenly answered his own question: "Someone whose butt I can kick."

Ness began by attacking with his bat. THWACK! Mewtwo had a shield up in time. He grinned maliciously, then fired a large, blue beam at Ness, who was flung a long distance before landing next to some kind of lamppost. An old man politely asked him if he'd like to learn some magic, but he declined.

Mewtwo closed the distance between himself and his opponent fairly quickly. He could feel Ness powering up some kind of psychic energy... some kind of psychokinetic wave. Mewtwo brought up his psychic shield and prepared to take the attack head on.

Ness was amazed by this thing, whatever it was. It took his attacks without even flinching, then fired back with unimaginable power. Not since the Giygas fight did Ness feel so powerless. His best moves were shrugged off; Flash only served to give whatever it was a nice tan; Shield was worthless, because it only blocked physical attacks. KAPOW! Another blast of power hit him. Suddenly, everything was like a big cartoon. A large text box informed Ness that he could not comprehend Mewtwo's attack. Ness barely had time to realize that Mewtwo was the creature's name before being hit with another attack. Now the world was black and white, and he saw Mewtwo just standing there, while tinny beeping noises played a tuneless melody in the background. The words "Mewtwo used PSYCHIC!" appeared. The world shook and waved.

When Ness opened his eyes again, he was lying on his back, and Mewtwo was standing in front of him. An eerie voice floated toward him.

"You can't beat me, Ness. I'm the ultimate evil, and you're nothing but a pansy-wansy fighter for justice. Bwa Ha Ha HA HA HA!" Mewtwo tossed back his head and laughed out loud.

SKAPOW! Ness flailed out with his yo-yo, connecting with the side of Mewtwo's head. Mewtwo crumpled to the ground, completely unconscious.

"Evil... justice... I'm still the guy with the yo-yo."

Ness teleported back to Onett, and went on with his life.

A telephone booth arrived in the void. Out stepped a young man, wearing carpenter jeans and a plaid flannel shirt. He threw a round ball at Mewtwo, who amazingly disappeared into its dark confines. He waved at the old man.

"Hey Gaspar."

"Hey Simon."

SimonBob (for that was his name) stepped into the booth again. Space told time how to move. SimonBob told time to get bent, and went home.

(More to come in future. Be wary of the evil...)