Ness was sitting in his basement reading comic books one day,
when suddenly he noticed that the comic book characters looked a
lot more realistic than usual. He looked at his hand, and was
shocked to discover that he had become a stick figure!
He called his Dad on a badly-rendered telephone. "Hi Ness,
it's your dad. I guess you've noticed that reality is on the
blink, so I have to go have a chat with a certain someone who's
been messing with the balance of the universe. Talk to you
later." Curiouser and curiouser...
Ness teleported to Twoson. The Polestar Preschool looked like it
had been doodled on the back of a high school announcement sheet.
In fact, the words "Tryouts for football team" were
clearly seen on the front lawn. Ness went inside, and found that
Paula was in the same state he was: all stuck up.
"Ness! What's going on? We're both stick figures!
Waaaahhh!!!" Paula began to cry, and little stick-figure
tears flew from her nonexistant eyes.
Ness took the still-weeping Paula outside and teleported with her
to Winters. They found Jeff inside the Boarding School.
"I see you guys have been turned into stick figures too.
C'mon, let's go find Poo." They all went to Dalaam.
Poo came out of his palace (which was looking more like a big box
with little boxes on it at this point,) and Jeff explained what
was going on.
"Sounds like a sticky situation," commented Poo.
"What should we do?"
"I think we should stick together," replied Jeff.
"It figures you guys would just make jokes at a time like
this!" cried Paula. Then she realized what she said, and the
little tears were replaced with one big honkin' sweat drop on her
forehead.
Ness got a call on his receiver phone. "Hi ho! Found evil
bad man, boing! Come to Saturn Valley, we fix you aaaaaall up!
Ding ding!" Ness and the gang teleported to Saturn Valley.
Apple Kid (who looked like a huge apple) and Dr. Andonuts (who
appeared round, with a big hole in the middle) pointed to a
normal-looking person who was tied to a chair. "This is the
person who's been messing with reality," yelled out Dr.
Andonuts. "His name is Yourmamasmama, and he ordered his
minions to draw us all really crudely! Because of the volume of
submissions he got for his little contest, our world is all
screwed up!" Everyone started beating up YMM, who was weakly
protesting.
Ness suddenly realized that stick-figure bodies and weapons
didn't do much damage to real people, so he told everyone to shut
up and listen to YMM.
"Thank you!" said YMM, with more than a trace of
sarcasm. "I've been trying to tell you, pictures can't
change you, but words can! And there's only one person stupid
enough to try to submit something other than art during Bad Art
Week!"
Everyone jumped in line behind either Ness or Poo as they
teleported away.
Anthadd came outside, saw who it was, and yelled out, "He
means SimonBob, you morons!"
"My bad," said Poo. They all teleported to SimonBob's
house. Anthadd watched them go, saying "..." to
himself.
At SimonBob's house, they all found SimonBob writing in his
basement. They demanded the use of their bodies back, and
SimonBob relented, typing in "Ness and his friends returned
to normal."
Ness and his friends returned to normal.
Satisfied, everyone left. Then Clarence the wolf showed up and
asked SimonBob why he had written the story.
"Just to bug YMM. He'd been complaining that all he was
getting was art, and now it's all he wants.
"Why would you want to bug YMM?"
"I dunno. It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"And what was the time?"
"Two in the morning. Hey, I've got another good idea! I'll
end the story with a commercial line for Union!"
"Maybe you should throw in a brief plot device that allows
for a sequel in case you want to make one," Clarence tossed
in with hopes that SimonBob wasn't too dense to take a hint.
"Great idea, Clarence!" A mental image of SimonBob
turning into a black hole entered Clarence's mind.
With an exasperated sigh, Clarence returned to his place in the
epic story "Union," created by Anthadd and written in
places by SimonBob. It's a gripping tale of how a group of
friends overcome the assualts of the evil Pokey, who steals the
evil out of Giygas's mind. Go read it, and tell all your friends.
After a refreshing nine-hour nap, SimonBob woke up and hit his
alarm clock rather hard. He looked at his arm.
It looked like a stick.
THE END...?
Actually, yes. SimonBob was merely having a delusion from having
just woken up. A few hours later, everything was fine. Sorry
about that horrible dot-dot-dot-question mark cliche, it was just
too much fun to resist.