"Sweeter words have never been uttered!" thought Ness. He loved getting letters.
Ness jumped down the stairs and ran to the table, where his mom had left the letters.
"Junk. Bill. Junk. Junk." Ness tossed the letters over his shoulder. "Ah! My letter!"
Ness tore open the letter and read it.
"Dear Ness, Hi ho! We are Mr. Saturn and we welcome Ness to big Saturn Day festival. Zoom!"
"I wonder what Saturn Day is?" thought Ness. "Let's see, it's on the 24th, so I can go and be back in time for Christmas".
"Ness!"
"AH! What!" Ness turned around to face his mother. "Don't throw the letters that aren't yours on the floor!"
The 24th approached quickly, and, when it arrived, Ness lost no time in getting to Saturn Valley. He couldn't wait to see what Saturn Day was. He arrived by teleporting and was surprised not to see any decorations. A Mr. Saturn came up to him.
"Boing! Ness come! He is here for Saturn Day. Zoom!"
"Where are the decorations?" Ness asked.
The Mr. Saturn looked surprised. "Ding? Ness not know Saturn Day?"
"I'm afraid I don't know anything about it" Ness said, a little embarrased.
The Mr. Saturn looked very upset. "Nobody care about Mr. Saturn and silly Saturn Day".
Now Ness felt really bad. But the Mr. Saturn wasn't done. "Saturn Day is no liked by anyone".
"Please", Ness said, "Teach me about Saturn Day".
The Mr. Saturn looked a little happier. He pulled out a bell from somewhere and rang it. All the Mr. Saturn came together and yelled, "Saturn Day! Zooooom!"
The Mr. Saturn all lined up behind Ness and pulled out (from somewhere) various objects such as bats, rakes, mallets and large sticks. The lead Mr. Saturn then said in a loud voice, "Boing! We welcome visitor".
Ness thought this was all very odd, but, then again, Mr. Saturn were rather odd. He stopped thinking it was odd and started thinking it was decidedly criminal when the lead Mr. Saturn hit him with his large stick. The next Mr. Saturn somehow jumped high enough in the air to bat Ness over the head. The next one had a rake and hit Ness in the face.
"What's going on!" Ness yelled. The Mr. Saturn all froze. They turned towards each other and sent concerned looks in each others' directions. Some of them started to cry.
"We knew, Ness just like others. Ness no like Saturn Day".
If Ness has a soft spot, it's for Mr. Saturn. He finds them to be the friendliest, cutest creatures in existence. If it weren't for this fact, he probably would have left, but he decided to stick it out and be a sport about it.
"No, I like Saturn Day. It's just that, well, do you have to hit so hard?"
The Mr. Saturn looked shocked. "Boing! Not hit hard! Boing! What he mean? Ding! Not hit hard!?"
"Okay, okay. Hit hard then. Let's just continue with Saturn Day, OK?"
The Mr. Saturn were all very happy about this.
Ness was now pummeled by the multitude of Mr. Saturn. They seemed to get particular joy out of hitting him in the face and on top f his head. His nose throbbed and his spine felt like it was collapsing.
Finally, after enduring this for about ten minutes, the Mr. Saturn were done. Ness, feeling weak and hurting all over wobbled over to the nearby pond. He fell over and saw his reflection.
He had never been so shocked in his life.
His nose, from being hit over and over, was swollen beyond belief. His spine apparently really had collapsed because he was about half his normal height. His arms were nowhere in sight and his clothes had all been ripped off.
As Ness was staring, shocked at his image, a Mr. Saturn came over to him. "Ding! I fix you alllll up!" Ness felt completely better. The Mr. Saturn presented Ness with a bow to put in his remaining hair that had not been ripped out.
Another Mr. Saturn came along. "Now Saturn Day start for real!"
Ness had a wonderful Saturn Day. He and the other Mr. Saturn played all sorts of games such as "big nose", "get up and butterfly" and "walrus checkers". I won't bother explaining them to you because you cannot comprehend these games unless you've spent time as a Mr. Saturn.
At the end of the festivities, Ness was healed by Dr. Saturn and was once again human. He was disappointed that Saturn Day was over. It was the best holiday he had ever been involved in! Of course, it was Christams Eve now, so he couldn't be too upset!
The End