'Twas the night before Gift Day, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even e-mouse;
The dishes were laid by the pillows with care,
In hopes that the gift man soon would be there.

The chatters were nestled all snug in thier beds,
(Except for poor reidman, he was engineering instead,)
And luna in her jammies, and gauntlet nearby,
We all had a marvelous time by and by.

When out on the moon there arose such a clatter,
(#starmen was dead, to this story they don't matter,)
Away to the telescope I flew like a flash,
Tore off the lenscap and looked all mish-mashed.

The moon shone brightly off the new-fallen snow,
Except where dios really had to go.
When, what to my wondering eyes did arose,
But a bathtub and 8 kangaros.

With an ugly old driver, so stupid and slick,
I knew in a moment that I would be sick.
More rapid than me running away from a train,
I yelled "Hey Gift Man! That bad stuff - I ain't to blame!"

"Now SLing! Now SLing! You know I ain't lis'nin,
What's done is done, you're life will be missin!
But for now I have to go to the mall!
No copies of earthbound were left in my stall!"

As he left me before my very own eyes,
I Yelled "Hey gift man, be a nice guy!
I won't yell at staffers, including luna too,
and when jobs open I won't apply for it, foo!"

And then, in a panic, I chewed through my tooth,
(How that is possible, I have to constrew,)
As I drew out my checkbook and was writing around,
The annual gift man started coming down.

He was dressed in red, from his head to his foot,
And his hands were all full with stuff that looked good.
A large petri dish he had in a bag,
And he looked like a criminal, or maybe a hag.

The check -- how I forgot! I passed it so quickly!
His cheecks suddenly became red and all rosy,
He drooled from his mouth to see the check glow,
And he said "How much?" As his hand started to go.

The end of the pen had drawn a One-Zero,
But I knew - That wasn't enough to pay our hero.
So I thought quickly and added an O,
so now my number was One-Oh-Oh.

"One hundred," I said, like a little old elf,
And he laughed when I said that, in spite of himself.
"One fifty." He claimed, and it brought much dread,
But when it comes to virii, I'm clear in the head.

I wrote him the check, and he winked at me well,
He said "Alrighty, this year you're swell."
And laying a finger on the money green,
He nodded towards me, and in my hand there was nothing.

He ran out the door, gave his kangaroos a wistle,
And away he flew, faster than a missle.
And I heard him exclaim, as he flew out of sight,
"SLING YOU MORON ITS NOT GIFTMAN NIGHT!"