Gwa... I wrote this some time ago ^_^ hehe.

~~ Me

~*A Key, of sorts.*~
[Regular actions]
(words said under breath, or describes something)
::actions within quotes::


~~~*EB DeathMatch*~~~
by PikaChan ^_^

Host 1: Welcome to another night of Celebrity DeathMatch. I’m Jason Anderson.

Host 2: And I’m Mike Stevens.

J.A: Our previous hosts are......tied up at the moment.


[Cut to the locker room, where Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond are tied up wearing only their boxers.]


J.A: Boy do we have a great fight for you tonight! Our world savior, Ness, will square off against his rival, Pokey Minch!

M.S: These two have been feuding for gawd knows how long. Lets go to our reporter #1, Picky Minch, for some words from the fighters.


[Cut to the other locker room. Picky is interviewing Pokey.]


Picky: How do you feel about the fight, big brother?

Pokey: All I can say, is that Pig’s Butt is going down good AND hard. I will get my revenge for ruining Master Giyga’s plaaaaaaaaaans!


[Cut back to the hosts.]


J.A: And lets hear a word from Ness, who is being interviewed by his sister Tracy, reporter #2.


[Cut to the OTHER locker room.]


Tracy: You can do it, bro. Youve always beaten that fatty Pokey in the past.

Ness: ::nods:: I got it covered. Poker won’t know what hit him.


[Cut to the ring.]


J.A: And now, we will be introducing our two contestants. All the way from Onett, Eagleland, the savior of the earth, everyone welcome Ness!!


[A bright flash of light appears in the door. A split-second later, Ness is in the ring, shaking all of the dirt from the teleportation off. He flashes his trademark peace sign. Everyone cheers. Paula, Jeff, and Poo are in the audience, waving signs saying “Go Ness!” and things of the sort.]


M.S: And our other competitor! The big tubby! Let’s hear it for Pokey Minch!!


[Pokey runs up to the ring, his flab jiggling the whole way. He tries to pull himself up in the ring, but can’t. Everyone boos. Pokey finally manages to drag himself in the ring, then lays on his back panting. He gets up after a few minutes.]


[Ness and Pokey walk to the center of the ring.]


Mills Lane: Now I want a good, clean fight. No hitting below the belt (wherever THAT is in Pokey’s case). You may use psychic attacks, but try not to fry the audience. Begin!

[Ness charges, and rams his head into Pokey’s stomach. Pokey is unfazed, and Ness bounces off of Pokey’s jelly rolls.]


Pokey: BWAHAHA! Is that all you’ve got, Pig’s Butt?

Ness: I’m just warming up! ::takes out his baseball bat:: HA!

Pokey: Oohhhh.....well, two can play at the weapons game.


[He takes out a remote control, and presses the red button on it. His Spider Mech appears, and his fat wiggles as he climbs in.]


Pokey: Geez, this thing’s a lot smaller than I thought!

Ness: Hooboy. Looks like I’ll hafta bring out the big guns.


[He takes out a Super Bomb, and chucks it a Pokey. When the smoke clears, the Spider Mech is gone.]


Ness: ::rubs the back of his neck:: Is it just me, or was that a bit too easy?


[Suddenly, the Spider Mech comes falling down from the air. Ness jumps out of the way right before it hits.]


Ness: Oi....

Pokey: ::crawls out of his damaged Spider mech:: You were just lucky there, Pig’s Butt. Now the real fight begins. HA!


[Pokey throws a punch at Ness.]


Ness: PSI Rockin’ Alpha!!!!


[A bright red-and-blue beam flies at Pokey, knocking him into the ropes. He ricochets off of them, and slams into Ness, flattening him.]


Pokey: MWAHAHA!!


[Ness peels himself off of the mat.]


Ness: You’re getting better, fat boy. That almost tickled.

Pokey: Who’s fat? I am in tip-top shape!


[He takes his shirt off. Everyone looks away. In the stands, Paula, Jeff, and Poo are watching.]


Paula: EEEEEW! That is just groooooss!

Jeff: PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!!

Poo: ::covers his eyes:: AUGH! I’M BLIND!!


Ness: ......Sick. ::looks at Pokey, hold in an earth-shattering amount of laughter:: *chortle*

Pokey: What’s so funny?!

Ness: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! LOOK AT THAT! He’s got manboobs!! BWAHAHA!!


[The audience laughs.]


M.S: Oucheroo! What an insult! Looks like Ness is going for the low blows.

J.A: And speaking of low blows....


[The audience is heard “Ooooh”-ing. Ness is seen holding his err....you know.]


Ness: GAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! OWIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!


[Pokey removes his foot.]


Pokey: There, howdya like that, Pig’s Butt?

Ness (in a squeeky voice): No fair! Time out! No frickin’ fair!

Pokey: Ha ha! Sucks to be you! ::sticks his tounge out and pulls his cheek down with one finger::


[Ness is getting really peeved off. He lifes himself up, then stands up tall.]


Ness: Shuddup. ::cracks knuckles::


[He socks Pokey in the jaw. Pokey scowls and boxes Ness’s ears. Ness smashes his bat over Pokey’s head. Pokey fires a laser at Ness. Ness chucks a Super Bomb at Pokey. Pokey farts.]


Ness: ::bigsweats:: Goin’ a little overboard there, Poker. ::puts on a gas mask::


[Ness fwaps Pokey with a paper fan. Pokey bumps Ness with his fat self and sends him flying into the ropes.]


Ness: Ow. ::ricochets off of the ropes::

Pokey: ::quirks eyebrow:: Is that the best you can do? ::aims a punch::

Ness: PSI Flash Omega!


[A blinding flash rips through the arena. The audience is wearing sunglasses. However, Pokey is blinded.]


Pokey: GAH! I can’t see!!

Ness: Sucker. ::punches Pokey multiple times:: HA! There ya go, Poker. A nice, warm, batch of fresh-made bruises. Howdya feel?

Pokey: ::waves his hands around, trying to find Ness, but fails:: Where are ya? I can’t find ya!

Ness: ::climbs up on the turnbuckle:: Why I’m right here! ::leaps off the turnbuckle, grab’s Pokey’s fat neck, rubs his knuckles on Pokey’s tangled yellow mop::


M.S: And it appears that Ness has initiated the legendary Noogie attack...

J.A: And by the way, tonight’s episode of Celebrity DeathMatch is sponsored by Saturn Valley’s Peanut Cheese Bars. They restore 100 HP, for a low, low price of $22 a bar. Ain’t that something!

M.S: Sure is, Jason. Sure is.


[Pokey wiggles out from under Ness, and climbs up the announcer’s box.]


J.A: It appears we have a visitor. ::munches on a Peanut Cheese Bar::

Pokey: GIMME THAT!! ::grabs a handful of Peanut Cheese Bars, chucks them at Ness::


Ness: ::gets pegged with Peanut Cheese Bars, eats one of them:: HA HA! That was smart, Poker. Real Smart!! ::eats the rest of them:: Snackeriffic.


Pokey: ::gets peeved off, jumps out of the announcer’s box, into the ring, lands on Ness, butt-first:: HA!


[The audience “Ooooooh”-s. Poo stares on in shock. Jeff rubs his eyes, not sure if he’s seeing right. Paula cries.]


Pokey: Mwahaha!!


[A voice is heard under Pokey.]


Voice: PMPHI RRCKIN UMEGAH!!! (Translation: PSI ROCKIN OMEGA!!!)


[Pokey shoots into the sky, a blast of red, orange, and blue attached to his fat behind. Ness peels himself off of the mat. The audience cheers.]


Ness: Hm. Now where did he go?


[Pokey drops from the sky, making another hole in the roof. He lands on Ness’s back.]


Ness: Ow.

Pokey: ::does a Nelson (from the Simpsons) impression:: HAW HAW!


[Ness digs around in his pocket to the best of his ability. He pulls out a Weenie Whistle and blows on it as hard as he can. A bus comes driving into the arena, running over part of the audience. A bunch of Mr. Saturns pile out of the bus.]


J.A: What’s this? It appears to be a group of Mr. Saturns! What a fight!!


Mr. Saturn: BoiNG! zOoM! KAy-O.

Mr. Saturn12: Is UndEr cOnTroL.

Mr. Saturn8: wE taKE CarE oF fAt KiD.


[All of the Saturns used PSI Boing. Major damage dealt to Pokey. He runs out of the arena screaming his head off. The Onett Police catch him and take him to the Insane Asylum.]


Mills Lane: And the winner is... ::grabs Ness’s wrist, raises it up:: ...Ness!


[Everyone cheers. Paula is jumping up and down. Jeff is pulling off a little boogie. Poo is clapping. Ness flashes his trademark peace sign.]


Ness: Heh heh. ::kneels down to Mr. Saturn, pats it’s head:: Thanks, little dude.

Mr. Saturn. nO, yOu ThaNk!! YoU nO BeAt fATty If yOu No caLL uS! YoU tHAnK!!


J.A: And that wraps up tonight’s episode of Celebrity DeathMatch. I’m Jason Anderson.

M.S: And I’m Mike Stevens.

J.A: Time to say --


[Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond bust into the room with the Onett Police Force.]


J.G: There are those little punks!! Get ‘em!


[The police run towards Jason and Mike.]


J.A: Erm....AsIwassaying, Good Fight, Good Night!!!


[The two impostors run off, with JG, ND, and the police chasing them. Fade out.]



Credits:
Written By: PikaChan
Edited By: PikaChan
Everything Else By: PikaChan, of course! ^_^