The Abolition of the Religion
By: Josh Hunter
"Geez, this is boring...We’ve played Monopoly three times already," complained Ness.
"Hey Sean, want to get a pizza?"
"Mach Pizza?" asked Sean, a friend from Ness’s school.
"Yeah. It reopened. Plus they opened up the Onett branch. I’ll go order it."
Ness ran to the phone, and called Mach Pizza. "Ma-ch Piz-za," said the cashier in a "zombie like" voice. "Err - Hi. I would like one large pepperoni pizza-"
"I’m sorry, we don’t carry pepperoni, would you like a plain instead?"
"Um, ok. My address is-"
"OH NO! We don’t deliver! That’s just wrong...We have pick-up now."
"What?!" exclaimed Ness in amazement, "That’s what Mach Pizza is known for....just deliveries."
"Well...we are under....new ownership..."
"Yeah, whatever. When will it be ready?"
"Um, er, um...23.5 minutes. Is this satisfactory to you?"
"I guess so," said Ness, confused.
"What is your name for the pick up?"
"Ness. Pick up for Ness."
"WHAT?! Oh er...please hold."
Ness was very hungry and was getting impatient. At the same time he was also puzzled by the cashier’s attitude.
"Oh hello, Ness. Please come quickly. Have a good day." the cashiers voice trailed off until he hung up.
"Hey, Ness, what’s taking so long?"
"Oh um, nothing. Let’s walk there. By the time we get there, the pizza will be done."
Sean and Ness left the house and headed for the pizza place. While they were walking, Ness started to explain what the cashier on the phone was saying.
"That’s odd," said Sean "They’re usually stranger than that."
"You’re pretty funny, Sean" The two laughed. That’s when they heard a familiar voice.
"HEY GUYS!" It was Yuri, another one of Ness’s friends from school. The three spent a lot of time together, so they knew each other well.
"Hey Yuri," said Ness, "We’re goin' to Mach Pizza. Want to come along?"
"Sure. Let’s go."
The three friends walked nearly all the way across Onett. Onett looked unusual. The people were walking around aimlessly, and were mumbling something. The three thought about this, but didn’t say anything. They reached Mach Pizza.
"So Ness, are you and Paula still goin' out?" asked Yuri.
"Yeah. It’s been almost a year...wow."
"How’d you meet her, Ness?" asked Sean.
Ness was hesitant. He vowed to not mention his adventure very much. He just wanted to live a normal life again.
"Um, well- WHOA! Look at Mach Pizza! It’s blue!"
"Wow, it is. It really must be under new ownership," said Sean.
"Let’s go guys."
They opened the door. Ness felt very strange. Blue...Blue...Hmmm. I hate blue... thought Ness. The pizza place was very dull and dismal.
Ness walked to the counter and said, "Pick up for Ness."
"Oh Ness. Here is your pizza. That will be $50.00."
"Wow. Really? It used to be $200.00. Cool..."
Ness handed him the money.
"Thank you, Ness. Have a nice day..." the cashier trailed off and mumbled something. He then went into the back room of the store.
"Let’s get out of here guys. This place is giving me the creeps. Don’t ask why," said Sean.
They all left. Yuri and Sean talked most of the time. Ness was silent.
"What’s wrong, Ness?" asked Yuri.
"What? Oh, nothing. I just feel a little paranoid. I don't know why though. Oh well, I’m sure it’s nothing. Hey, my house is up ahead. Let’s hurry, I’m hungry."
They got up to Ness’s porch. Ness opened the steaming hot pizza.
"Hey Yuri, I got this neat video game. It’s in Ness room. Can I show him, Ness?"
"Sure, I’ll be out here eating."
"Alright. Let’s go, Sean."
The two went in the house.
As Ness ate the pizza, he heard rustling in the bushes. He looked around. There was nothing.
*****************************************************************
"So, Sean, what’s this incredible game called?"
"DeathLords!" said Sean excitedly.
"Sean, you need a life...Oh man, I have a hockey practice in an hour..."
Yuri positioned himself near the window. He could see Ness eating the pizza, and the terrain of Onett.
"Yuri, look! You can disembowel people with this gun! Watch!"
Yuri wasn’t that impressed. "Oh, isn’t that nice." Yuri deterred his attention away from the blood and gore of the TV screen to the outside. That’s when he saw Ness confronting a group of men in blue suits. They ambushed Ness, and took him away, out of Yuri’s site.
"NESS! Sean! Hurry! Outside!"
"But I just killed the head death lor-"
Yuri frantically pulled Sean away from the TV, and quickly went outside.
"Ness! Where are you?"
"Ness? Where’s Ness?"
Yuri explained what happened.
"Oh no! What should we do? Hurry, let’s call the police!"
The two ran inside again. They called for Ness’s mom, but she went shopping with Tracy at Fourside mall. They called the police:
"Hello, Men In Blue."
Yuri asked, "You mean the police department?"
"Um, yes, as you simpletons would call it. What is your command?"
"Uh, my friend has been kidnapped. Please, you have to do something!"
"Invalid command, connection terminated." The phone disconnected.
"Okay, this is weird. Do you know what’s going on, Sean?"
"No idea. It seems EVERYONE is acting weird...Even Ness’s dog."
King growled and went back to sleep.
"If the police aren’t going to help, then we’ll have to do it ourselves. Doesn’t Ness have some other really good friends besides Paula? I think their names are Jeff, and...Poop?"
"I think it’s Poo, Yuri. Let’s try calling them. Where’s Ness’s phone directory?"
They raided Ness’s drawers and cupboards, searching frantically for a directory.
"YES! I found one!" said Sean triumphantly.
Yuri went through the book. "Here’s Paula’s number. I guess we’ll call her."
Yuri dialed the number:
"Hello?"
"Is Paula home?"
"Oh no, she’s gone on vacation with her mother. I think she’s in Summers. I’m her father. Are you from the TV station?"
"No. Um, I’ll call back another time, bye!" <Click!>
"Who’s next?" asked Sean.
"Um, Jeff. Jeff...Andonuts." Yuri dialed his number.
"HELLO! HELLO! Maxwell Labs here! Is this about the plutonium embezzlement? I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT!"
"Um no, is Jeff Andonuts there?"
"Oh, Jeff. He’s working right now...he may be just one step closer to fusion power... Please forget about the plutonium thing, okay?"
"Um sure, bye. <click!> Ok, this seems hopeless, who’s next?"
"Poo," said Sean.
"Right, let’s see...Poo....Here’s his name! But there’s no number...It just says 'Dalaam'. I guess he doesn’t have a phone. Ness has some weird friends." Yuri gave the book to Sean.
Sean looked at Yuri and said, "Let’s just forget about his other friends! We have to find Ness!"
"Right. Maybe those guys left some type of clue so we can follow them."
The two went outside. They inspected every area around Ness’s house.
"Sean, the only thing I could find is the pizza, and this blue paint."
The two were very doubtful that they would ever see Ness again.
******************************************************************************
"No, not again," said Poo in despair.
The citizens of Dalaam were acting strange again.
They were banging on the palace door, and yelling "Down with Poo! Anarchy, not Monarchy!" Some of them were throwing paint, and were dressed in blue. But most weren’t.
The behavior of the people changed about a two weeks ago.
This is very odd, thought Poo, My people have never acted like this before. I have to consult my Master.
"Master! I need you!" called Poo.
"Come, Poo. What is it that you need?"
"I don’t know if I can handle the throne. My people hate me. Why? And what is the significance of blue to them? What’s going on?"
Poo’s master walked around the throne room. Meanwhile, the people outside were rioting and trying to break in.
"Poo, something terrible is happening. I can’t quite decide what it is, but it is not good. Some ‘evil’ is changing the minds of people."
"Is this the work of Giygas? Or Pokey?"
"No. Something else...wait." The master walked around some more.
"I feel that...one of your friends has something to do with this...Ness."
"Ness?! No! He would never do this!"
"I think, that he does. However, he was forced into it...Poo! The time has come for you to put an end to this! You must put a stop to this overzealous cult!"
"Alone? Ok...I’m willing to do whatever it takes."
"No, you will not be alone. Two friends of Ness are also worried about him. It’s up to you to lead and train them to find Ness, and put an end to this."
"Alright, Master."
Suddenly the palace door was broken down. The people ambushed the guards. "There’s Poo, and his Master! Get ’em!" The massive crowd started descending toward them.
"GO POO! Teleport to Onett! Quickly!"
"But Master, what about you? I REFUSE to leave your side."
"Go Poo! It will be alright. Leave, NOW!"
The crowd had broken bottles, knives and other small arms. Poo teleported to Onett.
He landed right in front of the hotel. "Master," said Poo. He walked toward Ness’s house. Poo noticed how the people were acting. "I guess Dalaam isn’t the only place in despair."
He reached Ness’s house. There he found two boys, Sean and Yuri.
******************************************************************************
"Yuri, we HAVE to find him!"
"I know but we have barely any clues to go on, except this paint. And- wh-who are you?"
The two were encountered by Poo.
"Greetings. My name is Poo. I am a servant- no, a FRIEND - of Ness. I am the prince of a small country called Dalaam. My people were acting rebellious, so I fled. I came here because I learned that something terrible happened to Ness. Where is he?"
Yuri and Sean were dumbfounded. Sean said, "Er, we don’t know. He got attacked by some men, and they took him away."
"Yeah, we called the police, but they’re just weird," explained Yuri, "We have no clues, except this blue paint."
Poo examined it. "Ness...he told me about this. This is how he rescued Paula from...um...Carpainter. Yeah, that’s it."
"What?" asked Sean and Yuri together.
"This is the work of the Happy Happyists. I know it is!"
"What ARE you talking about?" asked Sean.
"The Happy Happyists are a cult. Ness destroyed it...for a while. I guess the remaining members of the cult regrouped and became stronger. Their strength spreads as far as from here, Onett, to my home Dalaam."
"Er, okay," said Yuri, "So every one is acting weird because of this...cult?"
"I guess you could say that," said Poo, "We MUST find Ness! This cult may use his powers against the world!"
"His powers?" asked Sean, "What are you talking about?"
"You mean he never told you?"
Sean and Yuri nodded.
"Ness possesses ‘psychic’ powers. This enables him to teleport anywhere in the world. He also can attack ANYTHING with his powers. If they can manage to get these powers, life on Earth might possibly be doomed."
Yuri said, "I suppose YOU have these ‘psychic powers’." Sean and Yuri both laughed.
Poo responded, "As a matter of fact I do. However, Ness and I have different powers."
"You’re crazy!" said Sean, "Come on Yuri, let’s go find Ness by ourselves. We don’t need this weirdo."
"NO! Stop! I’m here to help. I’m also a good friend of Ness’s. Hmmm...the Happy Happyists originated in Happy Happy village...That’s in Peaceful Rest Valley! Let’s go! I’ll teleport us there. Just follow me."
Sean and Yuri look at each other. "Er, okay." they both said. They lined up behind him.
Poo relaxed and teleported every one to Peaceful Rest Valley.
"WHOA!" said Yuri and Sean together. Yuri said, "Can Ness do what you just did?"
"Yes," replied Poo.
"Oh...that stinks, he never did it before..." Yuri trailed off.
"Both of you will soon learn to do marvelous feats, but don’t worry about it now. Right now we have to walk through these caves into Happy Happy Village."
"Uh, my mom said I’m not allowed to go here," said Sean.
"Sean, your mom doesn’t let you do anything." retorted Yuri.
The three of them went through the caves, and into the small village.
"I came here once," said Yuri, "That was a while ago. It was frightening, so I didn’t go back until now."
"Hey a store. Let’s go in," said Sean.
Yuri and Sean browsed through the store while Poo walked around outside.
"Hey Sean! Look at this hockey stick. Should I get it? I have enough money."
"Sure, go for it." Yuri paid for his new hockey stick.
"Man, this stick will be great in the game. Hockey! The practice! Oh well... Are you going to get anything?"
"I’m not sure...Wow! Look at this! A double barrel be-be gun! And it even comes with ammo! I’m getting this!" Sean paid for the gun. Sean and Yuri met up with Poo outside.
"So, Poo, what do we do?"
"Hmmm- Ness mentioned a Carpainter man. Let’s try to find him."
They searched the village, and asked people who Carpainter was. They finally found him.
"Are you Mr.Carpainter?" asked Sean.
"Yes I am...Follow me."
The three followed him into a large hall. "What is it that you want?" he asked.
"Do you know anything about the resurrection of the Happy Happyists Cult?" asked Poo.
"What?! Who- Who are you?"
"I am Poo. This is Yuri, and Sean. We are all friends of Ness. Ness is-"
Carpainter interrupted, "NESS!? What happened to him...oh dear...it’s all my fault...they’re going to get him...Ness is doomed..."
Yuri and Sean were confused. Poo began yelling.
"WHAT?! Are you leading this cult?" He pulled out his Sword of Kings, "Surrender now or we will have to destroy you! Where is Ness?!"
"We?" asked Sean and Yuri.
"Please wait, I can explain. I wanted to re-establish the cult, except this time I thought it would be more accepting to people. I had many followers, but they wanted to punish people who were against the original cult. I was forgiving, but they weren’t. They asked who ended the original cult, and I told them...It was an accident, really. They then started regrouping, and they now have many followers all over the world. I think they might use Ness as their leader once they convert him. They do this through brainwashing, and punishments, or who knows what."
Sean said, "They’re going to use, Ness? No way! I refuse to believe this."
Carpainter replied, "Unfortunately, it is true. Hurry! You must go now and find Ness. Here’s a map of where the head cult base is located. Ness should be about 5 miles south of the main headquarters. This is were they convert people to love the religion, Happy Happyism." Carpainter handed Poo the map. He was about to look at it when some men in blue came in. There were probably 20 of them.
"Sir Carpainter! Who are these cretins? Are they one of us?"
"Well, um-er, you see-"
"ENOUGH! You three know too much. Number 11! Number 14! Take sir Carpainter to his room."
"NO! I was in there for a week! NOOOOOO!..." The two men dragged Carpainter into a room far away from the hall.
"As for you three, you know too much about our society. You have two options, to give up and join, or to DIE! Your friend, Ness, is powerless. But soon he will be all powerful and ruler of this world. A world of peace, and perfect order. And BLUE! MEN! Attack these simpletons, they should be very easy."
All 20 men descended toward Poo, Sean, and Yuri.
"Stand behind me!" ordered Poo, "I’ll take care of them! Defend yourself as much as you can!" Poo’s first reaction was to put up a shield. He tried Shield Omega, and all three of them were protected by the power shield.
The men started attacking, using wicked lead paint, physical attacks, and strange PSI powers. Poo tried PSI Starstorm Alpha. It seem to have barely any affect on the men. Poo became desperate, and used his sword.
"They’re all attacking, Poo!" yelled Yuri. He pulled out his hockey stick and started bashing the men.
"I might as well do something," said Sean. He got his gun and was shooting everyone he could. The twenty men were down to four. They whispered a battle plan quickly. One man used a device called "The Psychic Psucker". All shields were eliminated, and Poo was unable to use PSI. "NO!" cried Poo in despair. The men all ambushed Poo. "Poo!" yelled Yuri, he jumped into the battle, but was losing just like Poo was.
Oh no, thought Sean, It’s up to me...All my friends will be gone...LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! Suddenly a glorious ray of light filled the hall. The four men were in a sort of light chamber. Without hesitation, Sean pulled out his gun, and shot the chamber. "ACK!" the men yelled. They got hurt and collapsed. The three friends won!
"Incredible," panted Poo.
"WOW, Sean! How’d you do that? That was awesome! It’s like that light chamber removed their defenses or something."
"I guess so," said Sean, "Poo, was that a ‘psychic power’?"
"Yes it was."
"Cool! I’ll call it...PSI Light Chamber."
"It’s amazing that you learned so fast. Let’s go free Carpainter, then we’ll go find Ness."
The three found a room. Inside was Carpainter. The room was white and padded.
"Stand back!" said Poo. He used PSI Freeze Sigma on the door. The door crumbled.
"Thank you!" said Carpainter, "Now you MUST save Ness."
"Where in the world is he?" asked Sean, "I mean that literally."
"Hmmm," thought Carpainter, "It’s an island in the middle of the ocean."
"NO!" said Poo, "This can’t be!"
"What’s wrong?" asked Yuri.
"I can only teleport to places I’ve been to. How do we get to the island?"
"Oh dear," said Carpainter, "I don’t know what you can do. But you MUST think of something!"
"Hey," said Yuri, "Didn’t Ness talk about a kid named Jeff? Isn’t he real smart?"
"OF COURSE! Jeff! I’m sure he can get us to that island!" said Poo.
"Let’s go then! Where’s he live?" asked Sean.
"Winters. It’s a small northern country. I can teleport us there. Thank you, Mr. Carpainter. Onward all!"
The three friends left the building. Poo teleported the party to Winters.
******************************************************************************
"Ugh," groaned Ness. "I don’t know how much more I can take."
Ness was in a building called the Society of Love. He was in a dark, damp cell. The Society of Love converted people to LOVE the Happy Happy religion. Ness’s PSI powers were drained. He had no weapon, and was being beaten badly.
"Lord Ness!" said a guard.
"I am NOT a lord! I will NOT lead your stupid religion! I refuse to accept it! You’ll NEVER change me. My friends will save me! I can count on them..."
The guard pushed a button on the wall. It was called the "pain button". Ness screamed in agony.
"Lord Ness, it is now time for test number 8. Two more tests, and you will be completely converted to our religion. Then you can rule on high as supreme ruler of Happy Happyism."
The guard dragged Ness to test number 8. Ness thought, Only my friends can save me...They have to...they absolutely have to..."
******************************************************************************
Poo, Yuri, and Sean landed in Winters.
"WOW!" said Sean, "Snow Wood Boarding School! Jeff must really be smart."
The three walked to a gate. There was an intercom speaker right next to it. Poo pushed the button.
"Who would you like to visit?" asked an electronic voice.
"Jeff Andonuts," said Poo.
"..........Enter. Have a nice day."
The gate opened, and the three went inside.
There were a group of kids sitting on a couch studying.
"Excuse me," said Sean, "Have you seen Jeff Andonuts?"
One of them looked up from his reading. "Yeah, he’s in his lab at that downstairs door. But I’d put on those radiation suits before you go in."
"Er- okay." the three put on the suits, and went downstairs.
It was dark, the only thing that could be seen were flashes and sparks.
"Jeff?" asked Poo.
"Wha-Who are you? Remove your suits. There’s no radiation."
The three took off the suits.
"Poo! Long time no see. And who are you two?"
"I’m Yuri, and this is Sean. Poo, explain what’s going on to Jeff."
Poo explained the whole thing in great detail. "...so we were wondering if you could go with us."
Jeff was amazed, "Poor Ness... Man! I want to go with you, but I’m very busy right now. I can’t leave for any reason. I’m working on fusion power. So far, I can get this electric toothpick to use fusion, but that’s it...I can loan you the Sky Runner...that’s about all I can do right now."
"Great! Let’s go!.." said Poo.
"But, it’s very low on power. The Sky Runner II runs on plutonium, but the supply is very low. It should get you to where you want to go and back...but I’m not sure."
"We have no choice, guys," said Yuri, "We have to go get Ness, and destroy this cult!"
"You’re right Yuri," said Poo, "Let’s all board the Sky Runner. How is it operated?"
Jeff said, "I’ll go most of the controlling from here. There are some manual controls, but they’re easy to figure out. Now get on."
The three entered the Sky Runner. Jeff opened the ceiling hatch and the ship slowly took off.
Jeff shouted, "I’m making a Sky Runner that runs on fusion...If I ever finish, I’ll try to join you...Good luck!" The great silver ship took off to the Happy Happyist Island.
The Sky Runner glided through the sky easily. Suddenly an alarm beeped.
"Warning! Fission power low, now entering conserving mode..."
The ship slowed down greatly, hurling Yuri, Sean, and Poo to the opposite side of the ship.
"Ugh," groaned Poo, "Ness told me the Sky Runner was never very reliable. I guess he was right."
Within one hour, the ship was over the remote island.
The electronic voice was sounding again, "Now approaching destination: Unknown. Attention! Incoming visual message from JEFF ANDONUTS, the coolest dude on Earth..."
The three looked at each other, then looked at the screen.
"Guys, the power is failing <static> I have some very important information <static, click> Look in the big silver box under <static> the control panel!" Yuri found it and opened it. There was a strange device inside.
Jeff continued, "That thing can locate basically whatever you want within a 20 mile radius.<static> should be no <static> ble to find Ness! The power’s failin<click click click! Static> BRACE YOURSELVES GUYS! GOOD LUCK! <static. Click click click!> The screen went blank. The Sky Runner was falling!
"AHHH! What do we do!" shouted Sean, "Let’s see, maybe this emergency impact button does something..." Sean pushed the blue button, nothing seemed to happen.
"Okay, that didn’t work. I’ll grab this box, and we’ll just brace ourselves until we crash," said Yuri.
Everyone was ready to crash. The electronic voice went off, "You are now entering a NO PSI TELEPORT ZONE, PSI strength is now decreased...10 seconds until ground impact."
The computer counted. Poo said, "NO TELEPORT! Then that means..."
"3...2...1.." <BOOOOOOM!>
The three opened their eyes. They didn’t feel the impact at all, but they heard it quite clearly. Poo got up. When he did, the whole ship crumbled apart.
"Well, that was weird," said Yuri.
"Trapped," said Poo.
"Huh?" asked Sean, "What’re you talking about?"
"We can’t teleport...Teleportation is useless here...Observe."
Poo used his teleport power. He zoomed right into the sky. Then, from an opposite direction, he landed right back were he was.
"Well, we’ll figure that out later. Let’s find Ness," said Yuri, "How’d you work this thing?"
"Let me see," said Sean. Sean was good with computers, since he played video games a lot. Sean typed some buttons on the device. It looked like a large transistor radio, only it had a screen, and a little satellite dish on it. "GOT IT!" announced Sean.
The satellite dish turned, and an outline of the island was on the screen. In the outline there was a blinking red dot, which represented Ness.
Poo pulled out the map. "Let’s see," he said "According to this, Ness is in the main headquarters. Why isn’t he in the Society of Love like Carpainter said?" Poo pondered this for a moment. Suddenly his face went pale, and his eyes widened.
"What’s wrong?" asked Sean.
"I-I think they converted Ness. Ness is now the leader of the Happy Happyists. He will want to destroy us."
"Now wait," said Yuri, "We don’t know that for sure. Let’s just go to the headquarters and see what’s going on."
The terrain of the island was jungle-like. A lot of plants were blue. The three trekked northwest to the main headquarters.
As they walked along, Poo got stuck in some blue vines.
"What are these?" asked Poo, "AHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"What’s wrong, Poo?!" asked Yuri.
The vines were connected to a huge "super plant". It was absorbing Poo’s powers and energy. "Gaaaaroooooooorrrrggg!" yelled the plant, "You are enemies of the Happy Happy Religion! GWAARG! Now, you must die!"
Sean and Yuri went on their guard. Poo’s powers were being absorbed by the plant. They tried their normal physical attacks, but it barely phased the plant. "SEAN! Do that power you did! PSI LIGHT CHAMBER!"
"I don’t quite remember what a did...AHHH!" Sean dodged a swinging vine.
Yuri and Sean continued to attack the plant. But it seemed hopeless. A big vine smacked Yuri right in the face. Yuri hated being hit in the face (since he plays hockey). He felt a new strength come over him. He picked up his weapon, and whirled in the air. Strange waves came out of the hockey stick. The hockey stick was glowing!
"AHHHH!" yelled the plant in despair. "I’ll teach you! I have Poo’s powers!"
The plant used PSI STARSTORM OMEGA!! But Yuri wasn’t through yet. Using the glowing hockey stick, he "slapshot" the attack back at the plant.
"NO!" yelled the plant. The plant was almost finished.
"I remember now!" said Sean, "Yuri! Let’s try to combine our PSI!" Yuri nodded.
Sean used the Light Chamber over the plant, then Yuri whirled his stick in the air. The vulnerable plant was being viciously attacked by the hockey stick’s rays.
The plant was nearly gone. Sean felt he had to do something. He went to the plant, and a yellow light descended upon it. The light then descended over Sean. Sean realized he re- absorbed Poo’s powers. He shot the plant with his gun, and it became a pile of ooze.
"Alright Sean! Let’s name our powers! I’ll call mine, PSI Slapshot, and PSI Glowstick."
"I’ll call mine...PSI Absorb...That’ll do for now. POO!"
The two ran to Poo. He was unconscious. Sean tried Healing Omega, and Poo woke up.
"Wha- How...my powers are gone..." said Poo sadly.
"Not really!" said Sean proudly. The yellow light went over Poo, and he recovered all his power.
"Amazing. Yuri, before I passed out, I saw your powers. Incredible. Now I have to say to both of you to use those powers wisely."
Sean and Yuri agreed.
"Now," said Poo, "Let’s go find the headquarters!"
******************************************************************************
"You are almost complete with Test 10, lord Ness. Soon you will be one of us, and supreme ruler of this world," said the head Bishop, "In this test, we will ‘reconstruct’ your soul, and then give you a new one. You will lose all past feelings, and emotions...hopefully. This will make you susceptible to the final test. We then can perfect you to become a perfect leader of a world of perfect order, and no will. HEAD GUARD! Commence Test 10!"
"Yes, sir." the guard dragged Ness to Test 10. This can’t be happening. I’m going to destroy all my friends, and go against everything I believe in. Only my friends can help the world...by destroying me. Ness fainted after thinking this.
******************************************************************************
The three friends made the rest of the journey safely until they were right over the red dot.
"Um, now what?" asked Yuri.
Poo and Sean looked around.
"There must be some switch that triggers an opening," said Sean, "I’ll try to find it on the scanner."
Yuri walked around aimlessly. He suddenly felt stuck.
"Wh-What’s going on?" he uttered. A silver light descended on him, and his body dissipated.
"YURI!" shouted Poo, "Sean! SEAN!"
"Wait, I think figured out-no that’s just a Tetris game. Why is there-"
Poo grabbed the scanner away from Sean.
"Yuri, disappeared!" explained Poo, "Right over there, a great silver light took him away."
"That’s it!" rejoiced Sean, "That’s the key to the headquarters! Let’s go."
The two went over to that certain spot. The light took them away.
They landed in a dark blue silver hallway. The two walked around, until someone grabbed them from behind.
"Shhh! It’s me! Yuri. There’s guards all around. I heard some of them talking about Ness facing some type of test. They said the test was complete, and he is the new lord of this religion."
"All is lost," said Poo sadly.
"But if we challenge Ness, and defeat him, maybe he’ll go back to normal," said Yuri.
"We might have to destroy him forever," said Poo.
"Hold up Poo. They gave Ness a new soul. Either that or they just rebuilt his old one. If we can get his original soul back in him, maybe we can save him."
"Okay,"said Poo, "Let’s go."
"Ness should be in the throne room, to the left," explained Yuri, "There’s some guards along the hallway, but they should be easy to defeat."
Now the three had to trek across a vast hall. As they trekked they defeated many men in blue suits. After one hour of walking, they reached the thrown room.
"This is it guys," announced Yuri, "After this door is opened, it will be us, against a powerful cult, and a good friend." Poo and Sean nodded.
"Stop!" shouted a small voice.
The three encountered a small boy. "Are you going to challenge our leader Poo?"
"I’m not. We are."
"That’s what I thought," said the boy "Wait right there."
The boy split into two, and landed onto two pedestals. Rays of light came out of them. The light changed Sean and Yuri into small statues. There were also statues of Paula, Jeff, Poo’s master, Ness, and the world. The light then formed a huge ugly monster.
"Hello, Poo. I am your fear. Those statues represent all that you are worried about losing. Your friends, your master, and the world. If you don’t defeat me, all that you worry about WILL be lost. If you defeat me, your friends will be saved. But you shouldn’t worry, it’s nearly impossible to defeat your own fear! ROOOOOOAAAAR!"
Poo pulled out his Sword of Kings, and was prepared for battle. He attacked the monster with his sword. SMAAAAAASH! The monster was deeply wounded. However, Poo felt the same physical pain as the monster. Poo somehow shook it off. He tried PSI STARSTORM Omega. The whirls of stars exploded at the monster. "ARGHH! NO!" shouted the monster.
Poo then felt twice as much pain as the monster. Feeling extremely weak, he tried
PSI FREEZE Sigma, and attacked with his sword. Again, the monster was deeply wounded, and Poo felt three times as much pain as the monster. "I can’t-go-on..." Poo was slipping in and out of consciencness. Suddenly the monster was healed. "Ha ha ha! You lost! The world now belongs to Ness! Gwa ha ha...!"
If I have to perish in order to defeat this beast...so be it!! Poo felt a sudden uncontrollable power. He got up and jumped to the monster and started hacking at it with his sword. He shouted, "I have overcome my fears!"
"NOOOOO! The monster yelled! This can’t be!..." The monster then melted into thin air.
Sean and Yuri returned to their original form.
"What happened?" asked Sean and Yuri.
"We CAN defeat this Happy Happy Religion! At the same time we can save Ness! Look! That statue of him, I think, that is his soul. My theory is that when we defeat him, we’re really defeating his ‘evil’ soul. We then can replace it with his original soul," explained Poo.
Yuri climbed up the wall, and got the statue of Ness.
"Let’s go everyone," directed Poo. He opened the door.
The room was dark. Very dark. The door slammed behind them. Then some Blue fire candles lit.
"What’s that chanting?" asked Sean, "It sounds familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it."
The chanting got louder. "Blue...Blue..." it said. Louder and louder. "Blue...Blue..."
Poo commanded to stop. Blue fire candles were lit all in a circle. There was Ness. Sitting on the thrown.
"AH, who is this? Poo, Yuri, and Sean! Have you come thinking you could defeat me, AND my religion? How naive you are. Hey, were’s Jeff, and that tramp Paula?"
Sean gasped, "Ness!"
"Quiet, you!" Ness zapped Sean with some unknown PSI power.
Ness started talking again, "I guess they chickened out. OH, I can’t believe how much this religion has opened my eyes. I look at the world differently now...I believe I was with the cult, even before I was brought here..."
"NO WAY NESS!" yelled Yuri, "Don’t you remember your life before? Your friends? Your adventure?"
Ness glared at him. "No, that life is far behind me. THIS is where I belong. Now, do you wish to fight me, or will you give up and become converts? I’ll be easy on you since you were my past friends."
"SEE! You remember!" said Poo, "You KNOW deep down inside who your true friends are! You KNOW you don’t want to be with this cult! WE WILL CHALLENGE YOU, and WIN!" said Poo bravely.
"Let’s go then." Ness pulled out a strange blue bat. He first used his PSI Special power. Yuri quickly "slapshot" the attack. However some of the waves hit Poo, Sean and Yuri.
"Enough of this child’s play, time for business!" yelled Ness. He tried PSI Blue. A small blue dot landed right in front of each member of the party.
"That’s it?!" questioned Yuri. Suddenly the blue dots exploded. Poo, Sean, and Yuri, were almost gone. Sean managed to absorb some of Ness’s power, but Ness quickly took it away.
"HA HA HA!" laughed Ness, "You thought you could defeat me! Looks like we WON’T be friends."
Poo cried out in desperation...Master...Paula...Jeff....Poo then tried PSI Starstorm Omega on Ness. "AHHH!" shouted Ness. Ness kept countering with a stronger attack. Poo, Sean, and Yuri refused to give up the battle.
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"Poo..." thought The Master. He walked around in his hidden shelter. "Poo’s in trouble...only the chosen ones can save him! I MUST inform them...somehow."
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"Wheeee!" shouted Paula as she jumped into the water. "Huh?" she said out loud. Paula felt anxious for Ness...She suddenly had the urge to call Jeff...
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"Yes! It’s done!" shouted Jeff triumphantly. Jeff felt strange for a moment... Ness...Poo...Sean...Yuri... he thought. "JEFF! TELEPHONE!" Shouted Maxwell.
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"Poo! I can’t concentrate on absorbing anymore," winced Sean.
"You-are-out-of PSI. Don’t give up." Poo tried PSI Freeze, but it barely affected Ness.
"I can’t believe how hard you all try. This is incredible," said Ness. Ness used his PSI Special Power ULTRA Omega. "ACK!!" said Sean. He got hurt and collapsed.
"Poo, we’re-supposed-to-win...vooo..." Yuri slipped out of conscienceness.
"Yuri! NO!"
Yuri got back up and used his glowing stick power against Ness. Ness countered with PSI FLASH OMEGA. Sean woke up, but his body became numb. Yuri couldn’t see straight. But it had no effect on Poo. Poo used the very last of his PSI for Starstorm Alpha. Ness counterattacked with PSI BLUE. The three friends were now extremely weak.
"It’s hopeless...it was a nice try...and- vooo.." mumbled Sean.
"Master,"said Poo "MASTER MASTER MASTER! I can take it much longer..."
"HA! HA! You three have lost as I predicted. Now I-what’s going on?"
The vast room shook. A silver streak slammed right in...It was Jeff, Paula, and Poo’s Master. They exited a ship that looked like the Sky Runner. The three attended to Poo, Sean, and Yuri.
"Ness!" cried Paula, "Remember! REMEMBER! All your friends! You helped us! You must remember!"
"Stop it!" yelled Ness, "Ahhh! I’m getting weaker...what’s happening?"
Poo, Yuri, and Sean were healed.
"Ness, it’s us," said Jeff , "You told me so much that you HATED the Happy Happy Religion. You said this because it hurt your FRIENDS!"
"NO! STOP! NO!"
The six of them joined together. They formed a remarkable power....the power was incomprehensible. It was thrown at Ness.
"NESS! COME BACK!" Shouted Poo. Poo threw the statue at the ground, and it shattered.
"AHHHH!! GUYS! I’M SORRY! I KNEW YOU WOULD SAVE ME!.........."
Ness disappeared. He seemed to disappear into two people. The whole room was shaking. The blue that surrounded everywhere was changing to a glorious white. Suddenly Poo’s mind cleared, and was able to teleport.
"Everyone line up behind me!" ordered Poo. He didn’t know where he was going, but he teleported everyone away from the Happy Happyist headquarters. The island dissipated, and was no more.
Poo landed at Happy Happy village. Everyone was depressed. Paula started crying. "He saved me so many times, but I wasn’t able to help him," sobbed Paula.
Yuri and Sean walked around. They went inside the main hall of Happy Happy village. Everyone else followed. When everyone else entered, they were surprised to hear laughing.
"N-N-NESS?!" shouted everyone.
"Hey everyone! I can’t thank you enough! Carpainter saved me from the destruction of the headquarters, as well as the cult. He’s a great guy."
"Alright! This is great!" said Jeff, "Everything is back to normal!"
Yuri and Sean looked at each other, "Not really," they both said. Everyone looked at them, "We realized our potential, and how anyone can achieve their goal and how we ALL helped each other. There’s an obvious theme to this adventure," said Sean. Everyone laughed.
"The Happy Happyists are no more!" announced Carpainter, "Peace is restored everywhere. I will NEVER deal with that cult EVER again."
Poo stood up, "Thank you Yuri and Sean. At first I had little faith in you, but you proved me wrong."
"No problem," they both said.
"You know," said Ness "There’s still something wrong."
"What?" asked Paula.
"The way all these things are happening to us. It’s like someone wanted to us to witness all this."
Everyone agreed.
Ness continued talking, "For now on, we’ll be ready for anything that comes at us. Hopefully this is the end. But if something DOES happen again, we will stay together, and WON’T lose."