"Look." Paula said. Ness turned to the TV. It was a young woman filling in for Ran Dather talking about the latest revolts.

"It appears that after hearing the news of the cancellation," the young woman began, "rioters in Onett vandalized Ness’ house. Luckily, his family was gone for vacation." The video they were showing was shot from a helicopter, and Ness saw something that no one else noticed. In his back yard was his dog, King, with something red on his side.

"It’s King!" Ness exclaimed.

"Where?" Paula asked.

"In the back yard. He’s hurt." Ness said. "Is this live?"

"I think so."

"I’ll be back in a little while."

Ness teleported over to Onett. What he saw sent a shiver down his spine. Despite the beautiful orange tinted sky dotted with with fluffy white clouds, the city was a wreck. Cars were all over the road. Not a single window wasn’t broken. Doors were off the hinges. Street signs were torn down. Houses were spray-painted. The town looked abandoned, but Ness saw a group of four or five teenagers walking down a street laughing. Ness headed for his house, but the gang saw him. They began to chase him through the town yelling curses and threats. They were catching up to him and pretty soon others joined in the chase. Some kids on bikes and skateboards were right beside Ness. One swung a baseball bat at Ness, but missed. Ness lost his balance anyway and fell hard on the ground. The kids began to surround him and began to scream loudly. All of them were threatening to hurt him so bad his grandma would feel it. Then, suddenly, they stopped. Ness could hear footsteps behind him and managed to turn around while still on the ground. He was face to face with two legs covered in red fabric. Ness looked up to see a matching red buttoned shirt, and a face disguising its eyes with black shades. It was Frank, Frank Fly of the Sharks. He smiled and slicked back his gold hair. Ness wondered if he was still his friend. Frank smiled for a few moments and then shared the smile with the crowd around him. They too began to smile and Ness knew this was trouble. Frank signaled to the biggest and strongest looking teenager to come over. They both chuckled as Frank put his arm over the teenager’s shoulder. He whispered something into his ear to make him laugh, and then he said, "Got it, kid?" The teenager nodded and smiled. "Good, because I’m gonna do it to you!" Frank yelled as he clothes-lined the teenager, knocking him to the ground. At that moment, dozens of sharks (the punks, not the deadly sea creature) jumped from the windows of the arcade. Ness hadn’t noticed that he had treaded into Shark turf. Frank flipped out two knives. "You here for something special, Ness?" He asked. Meanwhile, the sharks were scaring off the kids.

"I came for my dog, Picky was taking care of him." Ness said.

"Well you mosey on over to your house. We got your back." Frank said.

"Thanks."

A few minutes of running and Ness arrived at his ransacked house. The rioters took everything, even Ness’ SNES and his copy of EarthBound (he couldn’t play the game because it would cause this paradox thing). He ran to the back yard to find King. "King? Here, boy!" Ness called. King came running from behind some garbage cans. He seemed fine besides the blood that stained the fur on his right side. Ness looked at the stains and realized that it wasn’t blood. It was paint and it was a message. It said, "Behind you." Ness turned around and was kicked in the face.

He quickly got up to face his attacker, Mario. "What are you doing here?" Ness asked.

"I wasa sent to finisha you offa!" He said.

"You’re on my turf now, Gonzo (Ness calls Mario Gonzo here due to the fact that they both have gargantuan noses)!

"That’sa it!" Mario charged forward with a powerful punch, but Ness stepped to the side just in time.

"Psi Rockin’ Omega!" He shouted. The multi-colored wave of energy exploded and sent Mario flying. Ness could have finished him off, but he didn’t have enough energy for another Psi attack. He rushed over with his baseball bat ready to strike. Mario managed to get up and pull a giant hammer of a very small pocket in his denim overalls. The two weapons collided and Ness’ bat lost. It was sent flying behind him. Mario continued swinging the massive hammer. He looked like he had gone berserk. Every strike with the hammer left a pothole in the ground. Ness grabbed his bat and tried to move inside Marios’s attacks, but couldn’t and was struck in his left side. He flew several feet from the blow, but was not seriously hurt (of course). Ness figured that the only way he could hit Mario would be a Psi attack, but trying one would knock himself out due to lack of energy. He had to make it count.

Mario continued his assault and Ness continued to dodge, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. He wasn’t sure if now was the right time, or maybe their would be a better opening, so he waited. Mario, in his state of being bersek, showed no sign of fatigue, but Ness knew that once he left his state he would sleep for days after wielding that heavy hammer. Mario usually attacked from the side, but he suddenly raised it above his head to strike down. Ness thought that this would be his last strike, but it didn’t matter because this is when Ness decided to attack. He fired a second blast Psi Rockin’ Omega that the hammer flying along with Mario. Almost instantly Ness fell to the ground and blacked out, but he felt as though it was a long deserved rest.

Frank: As soon as my gang and I handled those puny punks who attacked Ness, who by the way is my best bud, I rushed over to his house to see if I could help out. When I got there, I found that Paula girl searching through the house for some stuff to "borrow".

Paula: WhatEVER! I rushed over to help Ness, and when I got there you were looking for his SNES!

Frank: You must’ve hit your head or something, darling. I don’t remember ever doing that. But anyway, like I said, I found Ness lying there unconscious with this other dude a few feet away. He had the biggest nose I’d ever seen, and that moustache! The only person with a bigger moustache would be my mom…and my grammy, and my great grammy, and my aunt Petunia, and my…

Paula: Anyway, we tied up that Mario guy. Jeff arrived a few minutes later with the Skyrunner and we all got on board and headed for Fourside.

Jeff: But if you two would have shut up when I told you to, we wouldn’t have crashed in the desert!

Frank and Paula: Sorry.

Tarah Ramah: When I heard the crash I went out to see what it was. I was shocked to find two arguing blondes, a bound and gagged plumber with the biggest nose this side of Grapefruit Falls, an unconscious Ness, and Jeff here with all his clothes blackened, holding a steering wheel, and mumbling "Please be quiet" over and over.

Jeff: Hah hah! Was I really mumbling that? Heh heh…

Tarah Ramah: After I stopped the two blondes (Frank and Paula if you haven’t caught own by now) from strangling each other, I offered them shelter for the night.

Frank: You ever slept in a cave full of monkeys? Of course not. IT’S NOT POSSIBLE WITH ALL THAT NOISE THEY MAKE!!!

Tarah Ramah: I find the chattering of monkeys quite soothing.

Frank: Whatever monkey man! I didn’t sleep a wink!

Paula: The next day, we left the desert and headed for Fourside, but before we reached the highway, sunstroke came over us. Well, almost all of us. The only person not inflicted with it was ME! YEAH, ME! AND GUESS WHO HAD TO CARRY THE SORRY HIDES TO THE HIGHWAY!? YEAH, ME!

Frank: Well, who was it who fell asleep on the highway and DROPPED US ON THERE ON THE ROAD!?

Paula: I don’t now what you’re talking about?

Frank: Well maybe the bus driver knows what I’m talking about.

Bus Driver: I nearly ran over you guys on the road. Frank, delirious with sun-stroke, brought all of you on board and payed the fare for eighty-seven people to go to Saturn Valley. Naturally, I couldn’t go to Saturn Valley in a bus, but I didn’t realize that until I ran down nearly every tombstone in the Threed graveyard. He he…

The conclusion of the interview and more of Ness’ journey in the next installment of

"The Series Ends Here"