Life was boring in Onett. Life was boring in Eagleland. Life was boring on Earth. Why was life boring? Because there was nothing to do! Even the townsfolk were getting bored and they were pretty used to just sitting around waiting for Ness and his friends to show up, but now…it was different. Ness’ adventure had ended several years ago and still, there was no word from Nintendo. The people of EarthBound remember well the last news flash.

"This just in!" exclaimed an overly enthusiastic anchorperson. "Our sources indicate that last night, in the small town of Onett, Ness received a phone call from the big N. That’s right! Nintendo! The young hero stated that Nintendo has another adventure in the works and our drought of excitement is nearing an end. Ness was unavailable for further comment, however, due to the fact that he had a sudden urge to party in Fourside with all of his friends. So, that’s it folks! All of our boredom is finally going away thanks to the great people at Nintendo! For E.B.2 News, I’m Ran Dather and I’ll see you on the flip side!" After this he immediately threw his pants into the air and began to dance madly.

For weeks after that, Ness and his closest friends and family lived it up in Monotoli’s greatest suite at the Fourside Hotel. Everyday, they would fly out to Summers to tan on Carrillion Beach. At night, they’d fly back to Fourside to enjoy the wild nightlife. (Note that this nightlife was of the perfectly legal sort considering the age of our heroes) There was no teleporting for the chosen four anymore. There would be plenty of time to train up for their next adventure. Little did they know how much time they would actually have.

Three months of (totally legal) partying passed, and the chosen four thought nothing of it, until one morning. They had gone out to the Topalla Theatre to see "Runaway Five Mania: Not the Real Runaway Five, but a very realistic simulation (the real Runaway Five were big shots now and lived in Summers where they partied like our heroic friends. They stayed out until three in the morning when they decided to turn in for the night. Ness woke up bright and early. His Rolex said seven o’clock. He got up out of bed and stretched. He let out a deep yawn as he entered his bathroom to brush his teeth. He was loving life at this time.

He walked down the hall of the luxurious hotel and found Poo staring out of a large window at the end of the hall. Ness walked the beautiful, royal purple carpet over to his Dalaamese friend. "What’s up, Poo?" He asked. Poo continued his hard stare out of the window. He was looking down at a sun-dial that rested in the middle of a beautiful garden that was maintained by the hotel staff.

"What time do you have, Ness?" He asked. Ness raised his wrist up to see his Rolex and was surprised to see that it was still seven o’clock.

"Hmm," Ness said, "My watch must have stopped. It said seven when I woke up, but at least five minutes must’ve passed." Poo finally broke his stare. His eyes were now fixed on Ness.

"Your watch is fine." He said. "Time has stopped."

"What!?" Ness thought that perhaps Poo had partied (legally of course) too much. "Why would you think that?"

Poo led Ness into his suite and showed him the digital clock that rested on the nightstand beside his king-sized bed. It said seven o’clock. "This one must be busted too." Ness commented. Poo then turned on the big-screen high definition television to the TV Guide Channel. The time said seven o’clock. Ness pulled out his cell-phone. He dialed a number. "At the sound of the beep, it will be seven o’clock A.M." said a voice. "How?" asked Ness.

"I do not know," said Poo, "but come see." He brought Ness back into the hall. He pointed out the window at the sundial. "See, according to that it is around nine-thirty."

"Oh, my God." Ness said. "That means…"

"Yes." Said Poo. "EarthBound’s sequel has been can…"

"THAT MEANS I MISSED MOST OF MY SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS!!!"