A few days had passed since Paula had arrived at Joy’s humble abode. It was really driving me crazy; I knew what she was trying to do. I was hanging out with Joy one time...

~~~

"Ness..." Joy breathed.

I panted, "Joy..."

"Ness..."

"Joy..."

"HI!" Paula bustled in, knocking down a teddy bear and a heaping mound of cookies.

"Paula!" I complained angrily.

She asked innocently, "What?"

~~~

There been lots of other decent examples of this ruckus. But now, I was alone with Joy, the fire crackling, the snow falling outside...

~~~

"Ness?" she asked.

"Yea?" I replied.

"I’ve been meaning to-"

*Clang, clank*! I knew what that was; it was Paula, ruining my fun. I raised my voice, "What was that again?"

The clanking pushed on, unaware of something somewhat serious going on. "Will you...will you..." Joy shouted.

"Will I what?"

Paula flew in, very businesslike, a pot in her left hand, and pan in her right. "Oh, was I interrupting anything?" Paula meekly stated.

"Well, kind of." Joy smirked as her cheeks turned rosy.

"Oh," Paula stood dumbly.

Joy smirked again, "If you would please leave,"

"...Okay."

Paula shut the door behind her, not quite slamming it, but on the verge of it, like she didn’t want to attract any attention. Joy smiled, produced a velvet box. "I...really love you Ness."

I cast a dumbfounded glance at her. "Will you marry me?" she breathed.

Ann half-laughed and half-spoke: "Okay. Let’s stay together!"

"Great!" I replied, knowing that this rocked.

We watched some TV for a while. Ann seemed to be pretty laid back, pretty calm, cool, and collective. I could tell as she mocked every commercial with her legs propped up on my lap, like they belonged there. I didn’t mind, though.

They we played a game of monopoly that she despised (though I may say she cheated more than once) more than anyone did. She didn’t seem to like me!

I tried everything in the book. What (or which) book I do not know, but I know a lot of books! I had on final chance.

It was the ever-popular sunset.

"Jeff?" Ann asked.

"Yes?" I answered eagerly.

"All day," she began, "you’ve been flirting, haven’t you?"

"Kinda..."

She stepped up and slapped me broadly across the face! "Wha!?" I exclaimed in disbelief.

"You little creep!"

She stormed off to god knows where, I don’t know, her room. I walked up to the door and got it slammed in my face. I shoved it open, got my coat, and left. "That’s that." I said as I tromped away, "I’m going to see Poo."

"But...I don’t have a ring!"

"I got it for you!"

Convenient. But at the time, I didn’t seem to care. "Okay, let’s do it! Let’s get married."

She showed me the ring that I was almost certain to give her. It was beautiful! There was a diamond glittering there in the sunshine, beautiful silver and gold intertwined. I would have asked how she paid for it, or where she got it, but it would have seemed rude.

Paula stepped either bursting, or crashing, or bumbling, or all three, through the door. She had been listening in with a glass to her ear, and she must have slipped. That no-good-

"Hey guys..." she spoke, hiding the glass behind her back.

Joy replied, "Hey,"

"Whatcha doing?" Paula smiled, as if she had a right to ask us what we were doing.

"Just...learning how to tie knots?"

Paula immediately left us alone again, innocently, as always. Except this time she was muttering something about "Need help," and "For crying out loud,". I was worried, hands clammy. What if she figured out and called Jeff and Poo? Then what? Well, they couldn’t stop me! I was getting married, no matter what they did!

~~~

The wedding was on Saturday. Joy seemed to change in a course of two days. Then it was Friday. She had changed, she didn’t cook, or clean, or be considerate. I wonder what was up?

I had already called for Jeff to come over. He said he would bring help. I was thinking he meant Poo, but boy, was I wrong!

~~~

On Saturday, Jeff and some girl showed up. "Hi!" Jeff smiled.

"Where’s Poo?"

"Oh, Poo? Frostbite. Oh, here’s Ann. Ann, Paula. Paula, Ann. "Hi," I uncomfortably stated.

"Hi’ya!" Ann waved cheerily.

I hissed, "Ness is going to get married!"

"Congratulations!" Jeff said to me.

"No! He’s going to get married to some girl called Joy he barely knows and he’s making a mistake and they’re going to have the wedding on Saturday and even if Ness liked me I wouldn’t marry him." I caught my breath.

"O-kay..." Ann stammered.

"Let me put this straight...Ness is going to ruin his life at thirteen!"

Jeff replied, "Oh! Okay, I get it!"

"We gotta stop him!" Ann said.

I answered, "Then let’s,"

~~~

We were spies(play Mission Impossible theme). We were in the heating ducts. We could hear the wedding music.

"Hurry!" I whispered.

We ran and then, to our complete horror, there was a creaking sound. "It’s coming down!"

The heating ducts collapsed. We fell!

As I walked down the aisle, I was so scared. Something was horribly wrong. But when I saw Joy...it didn’t help me. Suddenly, three dusty figures fell from the ceiling! I yelled, "It’s Paula! And Jeff! And...I dunno, who is that?"

Joy yelled, " Shut it, you-I mean, please turn around, Ness-wessy..."

The nameless girl quickly shouted, "Oh, Ness! You’re the only one for me! Ann loves you!"

"What? Who are you?

"Remember me?"

"Yeah, uh, wait, no I don’t!"

"Ann" kicked me. She whispered, "Just go with it, okay? That is not a real person."

"Whatever!"

I held "Ann" up close to me. "See, Joy? I like her...uh, bye!"

With that we ran out the door, Joy’s screams trailing us.

~~~

Later, we were all at Paula’s cabin. I was recovered, mostly. There were a few odds and ends I was getting at, but I knew most things. Like I knew everyone went to see Poo but me. I had stayed in the cabin for some peace and quiet. I played Chrono Trigger. I was at an anxious moment in it and the door flew open. "Aaaaauuuugggg!" I yelled when the game reset.

"Poo’s recovered!" Jeff laughed.

Poo walked in the open doorway. "Oh, by the way," he started, "Chrono dies."

"Poo! Augh!"

We weren’t going to stay much longer at the ski resort. In fact, it was Thursday. We were expected home Saturday. But first we had a couple more days at the resort.

Also, it turns out that Ann lives in Fourside. But right now, it’s 11:59, and I’m looking for a midnight snack.

~~~

I tiptoed down the hallway. Trying not to wake anyone up. When I made it to the kitchen, I noticed the fridge was almost empty. But then, at last, I found...pancake mix! Oh, man! I’d have to make pancakes. I put the mix back, and an apple rolled out. I though, "Well, this will have to do."

I bit the apple, and sat on the couch. There was a light outside. I went over to the window, and ducked. Police! They were after us, because we had recently broken out of jail! I ran into Jeff’s room, and shook Jeff.

"Yahh! Monster cows! Oh, hi Poo."

"The police!"

"Don’t try to...oh...we’d better run!"

Paula must have heard, because I heard her waking up Ness in the next room. In the room across the hall, Ann grumbled, "Shut up! I was having a dream about having a midnight cruise with Leonardo Decaprio...and then killing him!"

I hissed, "Get up! I’ll explain later."

Rap-rap*! Someone was knocking at the door. "Is anyone there?"

Everyone was waiting for me at the entrance to the living room. "Okay, just put out the fire, and we’re out of here!" I whispered tersely.

Paula jogged over to put out the fire, but when she opened the grate, flames leaped out at her! All too suddenly, the cabin was on fire!

*Rap-rap*.

The fire! We dodged left and right until we were out the back door. Not without our collection of bruises, burns, and scratches, of course.

A distant *rap-rap* was heard. "Are you kids-fire! There’s a fire!"

But we were nowhere to be found. Then I thought. How ironic, a fire was by all this snow. Poo’s eyes sparked, and he spoke excitedly, "I have an idea! I’m not sure if-"

"We’ll take what we can get." Ness interjected.

"Well," he answered, "Ness, are you in the mood to drive a car?"

"What?!" Ness yelled.

"Ness, he’s got a point," Paula replied, "You do have the top high score on that racing video game."

Jeff was worried.

Paula was thinking hard.

Poo was active.

Ness was eager.

Me, I was ready.

We sought out the park ranger’s jeep, turned the key, and got off to a bumpy start. The park ranger was over in a telephone booth, probably calling the fire department. He saw us and dropped the phone. Then he ran outside, not prevailing to catch us.

~~~

It had been a wild ride so far, and we were riding through Dusty Dunes Desert. I spotted a lone desert squirrel on the road. "Ness, watch out!" I yelled.

He swerved madly into the Desert and couldn’t stop! I couldn’t see where we were going! Seeing everything glide by I just figured it was the end for us. We spun and spun! *Crack*! The window shattered as we crashed into a huge rock!

I was at home. King, our family dog, was taking his usual tenth nap of the day. Tracy was organizing her Pokemon Cards also for the tenth time. My husband was on a business trip, concurring with usualness. "If that’s even a word..." I chuckled to myself.

I was doing the laundry. It was an average day, except for the fact it was raining.

There was a knock on what could have been the front door, I didn’t know, I was in the laundry room upstairs. "Hold on!" I yelled to the door, then to Tracy, "Tracy, get the door!"

"Mom! I’m busy!" Tracy whined.

The person knocked again. "Tracy! Now!" I demanded.

Tracy mumbled, "Okay, mom...Ness gets out of all this with some stupid trip..."

Tracy stumbled down the stairs, then ran to the door. It was unlocked, then opened. She said shortly, "Mom! It’s not for me! It’s for you!"

Agitated, I strolled downstairs and saw Captain Strong, the local police chief. The captain took his hat off and lowered his head. "Ma’am. We’ve got some news."

"What is it? I like news,"

"Quiet, Tracy." I told the formerly speaking.

Captain Strong found a place of silence, and interjected, "Well...it’s real bad news. Your son died in a fire."

"He what!?" Tracy disbelieved.

I felt myself losing all hope. Then, without warning, even to myself, I fainted.