CHAPTER XVIII: Welcome to Moonside
"Woooooaaaaaah!!!!!"
"Neeeeessssss! Wheeeeeeerrrrreeee isssssss iiiiitttttt taaaaaaaaking usssssss?"
Ness floated through the light, unable to respond. Jeff looked warped and distorted from where he was, and the world around them was blurring and fading.
>pop!<
They were back in Jackie's Cafe. Something was strangely different, though. Even the air felt different as Ness took his first breath.
It was dark, like a pitch black night. The only thing lighting the place was the neon lights. All of the outlines of the furniture and the walls were made from neon lights. Jeff ran his finger along one of them.
"Hm," he mumbled. "Interesting. The entire place is made of pitch-blackness and neon lighting."
"Excuse me," Ness asked a patron at the bar. "This may sound completely nuts, but are we still in Fourside?"
The man looked at him funny. "Yes, you're not. You're in Moonside."
"I beg your pardon?" Jeff exclaimed. "Did you just say 'yes you're not'?"
"No, I did. Jeez, why don't you two get a life?"
Ness pulled his bespectacled friend aside. "Do you know what's going on, Jeff?" He asked in a whisper. He nervously fiddled with his cap.
"I think so," Jeff responded, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "That door behind the counter must have taken us to some...reverse world. 'No' means 'yes' here, and likewise 'yes' means 'no'."
"All right," Ness nodded, hiking up his yellow pack. "Let's try this again." He turned to the man again. "Excuse me, are we in Moonside?"
"No, you are. Jeez, kid, don't you know anything?"
This is what he had been waiting for. "About this world? Yes."
"Tch. Didn't think so. Now go away, you bother me."
"No, sir."
"I'm glad to see you respect your elders. Now go on! Get out of here!" the man suddenly twitched a little. "Mooooon siiiid wellcoooooome to moonsideeeeee..."
"Oh...kay..."
They walked out of the cafe.
"How are we gonna get home?" Jeff asked. "This world is too crazy!"
"I dunno, Jeff," Ness said, looking around. "But Everdred said Monotoli was here, and he has Paula, and...hey! Who's that?"
A muscular man with blond hair strolled up to them.
"I'm the Warp Man," He boomed. "Hello, and...GOODBYE!"
>pop!<
They were in a completely different section of Moonside.
"What the heck?" Ness asked himself, looking around. "We...warped."
"Thanks to the Warp Man, I'd gather," A rather spooked-looking Jeff mumbled. "Hey! Look at that!"
They were standing in front of the Topolla Theater. The only difference was, there were no doors. Just a black front.
"This place is definitely creeping me out," Ness exclaimed.
Another man strolled on up to them, smiling. He looked exactly like the Warp Man.
"Hello," he said. "And..."
"No," Ness said quickly. "NO!"
"GOODBYE!"
>pop!<
"Ah, nuggets," Jeff exclaimed. "What are we doing on the Hospital roof?"
"Good Lord," Ness mumbled. "Moonside is just way too weird for..."
"Hello, and...GOODBYE!"
"WAIT!" The two friends yelled at the man who had hovered over the roof of the hospital.
"Shall I?" The Warp Man asked.
"No!" Ness replied immediately, then realizing his mistake.
"I'm glad you agree with me," Warp Man said. "GOODBYE!"
>pop!<
"CA-RAP!" Ness screamed. "I am getting so sick of this warping, and helloing and good bye-ing, and...what the...?"
A thin, wrinkled old man was kneeling on the ground. He wore a nice gray coat, and an expensive-looking fedora. Ness' gaze slowly rose from the man, to the object he was prostrated before.
A chill ran down his spine.
The golden form of the horned man stood before him. The enormous golden sword it carried was point down, those two massive golden hands resting casually on the hilt.
The Mani Mani Statue.
The old man stood up, looking at the two boys with a horror-filled look.
"No," He wheezed. "No! I'm...not Monotoli!"
And he slowly dissolved into thin air. The statue began to move with a grinding chalkboard noise. It's hand wrapped around that massive sword, and its face became a devil's sneer.
"Watch out, Jeff," Ness cried, readying his bat. "This is the Mani Mani Statue!"
Ness and Jeff jumped in opposite directions, as the enormous golden sword slammed into the pitch-black ground, leaving a crevice of pulsing, swirling rainbow colors.
Jeff turned, and fired a shot from his gun. The Mani Mani blocked the shot with its sword, and ran after him. Ness heaved himself through the air, and stopped the whistling sword with his bat. He magnified it with his psychic energies so it wouldn't break. The Statue heaved the young warrior back with relative ease, and Ness was sent bouncing across the ebony ground. His left hand came to rest inside the crevice that the golden sword had cleaved in the inky black street.
He screamed, lifting his hand into the air. The rainbow swirling that pulsed beneath the ground burned like acid. He watched in horror as his hand melted away into nothingness. He clenched his teeth against the burning pain, writhing in agony.
Jeff was kept busy trying to hold the invincible Mani Mani at bay. He jumped around like a jackrabbit, dodging the sword strokes, all the while firing with his Laser.
"Damn," He spat, loading another charge into his gun. "How the heck am I gonna bring it down?"
"Jeff!"
He turned. Ness was standing about ten yards away, cradling the charred stub of his left hand against his chest. He had dropped his bat, and he held his right hand out in front of him.
"What happened, Ness?" He cried, indicating his hand, dodging the whistling sword in almost the same instant.
"Nevermind!" Ness yelled. Sweat was beading his forehead. "Just get away from the statue!"
The pain in his hand was still burning. He was having trouble concentrating, trying to summon his psychic energies. Slowly, haltingly, an enormous ball of the rainbow liquid beneath the streets rose from the crevice. It was barely hanging on by a thread.
Ness was almost to the point of blacking out. He was panting, sweating. His hand was hurting even more. Then, a thought as cold as arctic water flashed through his mind.
His lips parted, forming the thought into words.
"Paula..."
He clenched his teeth, now screaming her name.
"PAULA! I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR HER!"
He threw his two fingers--middle and index--out, with the rest of his fingers clenched in a fist. The rainbow ball, powered by his psychic rage, hurled towards the Mani Mani Statue, wailing as it went. It struck the massive golden man like a bucket of water. It let out a lion's roar, and began to melt. Those two hands dropped the sword as the fingers crumbled away. Those two bull's horns dissolved, and the huge golden head began to vanish.
In the next instant it was gone.
The world around them began to swirl and blur. The black streets twisted grotesquely. Ness smiled, holding his hand. The next thing he knew, he was sitting in complete darkness.