How The Minch stole Christmas
All the kids down in Onett
From the great game EarthBound
Went to the town hall
To make a great sound.
"Dah hoo dooh bahs, mah hoo doh blehs
Welcome Moon Man, all is clear
Dah hoo dooh bahs, mah hoo doh blehs
Welcome! Welcome! Please come here!"
But there was one boy
Who lived not too far away
He hated these sounds
"I HATE ‘EM!" He’d say
It was Pokey Minch
Still sore from the fight
"I wish this were over-
I’ve seen the light!"
"For good will thrash evil,
And that is a promise!
I need a plan! I know!
I’ll Steal Christmas"
He thought of his diabolical plan
Then called for Picky: "Quick!"
And then his brother walked in
"Help me look like Saint Nick!"
He needed a reindeer-
But they were all dead
So he got some antlers
And put them on Picky’s head
And that night, as Onett slept
Pokey Minch quietly crept
{You’re a mean one, Pokey Minch{
You’re a bad one, Pokey Minch!
You really are evil!
You eat like a hog, yet you sleep like a log, Pokey Min-inch!
If I had to choose between a game all about you, or Pokémon, I might …. Well, choose your game, but that’s not the point.
You’re a liar, Pokey Minch!
You aid the evil ones!
Your ethics sure are bad, and your morals sure are sad, Pokey Min-Inch!
I’m guessing that your best friend is probably Maralin Manson!
You’re a traitor, Pokey Minch!
You need to get out more!
You look like a blob, and you’re nothing but a slob, Pokey Min-Inch!
I bet at least one person is crazy enough to say you’re catually nice, but you’re just possessed by Giygas because he needs more cohorts *breath* because he can’t beat Ness and his team alone so he has all these evil people aiding him….!
He took Ness’s bats
He took Jeff’s Spectrum Gun
He took Paula’s Frying Pan
He then cackled "Geez, this is fun"
But that’s when he made a noise
That woke up Cindy Lou
"What are you doing?
What can I do?"
So he made up an excuse
He made it up quick
"Why, I’m taking these to be fixed my dear"
He thought: "Boy, was that slick!"
So once he had finished
He laughed out with joy
"Now no one will get anything!
Not a weapon or toy!"
But then he heard a sound
It sounded quite cheerful
"What could that be?"
Pokey got an earful
"The people are singing!"
Pokey yelled with disgust
"How can this be?
My plan is a bust!"
But Pokey was wrong
In fact, in a way,
The people were mad
"And are heading this way!!"
Ness smashed fat ol’ Pokey
Jeff gave him a zap
Paula hit him hard
All he said was "Oh, Crap!"
And they got back their gifts,
As they story said,
They CHECKed out Pokey
They thought he was dead