Earthbound: Simple Gifts







"So, Colin," Melissa began, "Is that how you dealt with your press problem?"
    "Not exactly." Colin replied. "I just lobbed it."
    Paula sighed. "That wasn't quite what I had in mind."
    "Aww, don't worry about it." Colin said."If they wanna get ticked off, they're gonna get ticked off at me."
    "I suppose that's true." Paula replied. "By the way, where do we go to next?"
    "My guess would be Threed." Ness said, looking at his map. "The only problem is that the tunnel to Threed's full of ghosts. That presents a problem."
    "That can be trivial." Colin said. "Depending upon what happens, I can see if I can't blast 'em to oblivion."
    "Hey, if we're taking off, I should probably pack a little, huh?" Paula asked.
    "That could be helpful."
    "I'll go do that then." Paula said, walking up to her room.
    "So, you guys are really leaving, huh?" Melissa asked.
    "Unfortunately, yes." Ness replied. "But it's for the world."
    "I suppose you're right." Melissa said, sitting down."Here, I'd like you to take this with you."
    She handed Colin something in a package. "It's a hand made band-aid. Hey. . .that rhymed! I think I'll just call it a hand-aid."
    Colin smiled, brushed himself off, and stretched. "Thanks for your patronage. I really appriciate it."
    Ness gathered his things and stuffed them into his backpack. "Should I go get Paula?"
    "Naa." Colin said. "Let her take her time."
    "Good idea." Ness said. "Besides that, she still has to say goodbye to her dad."
    "This is true." Colin replied.
    They sat down, and a few minutes later, Paula came down from upstairs, a backpack on her back, and she adorned a pair of blue shorts and a green tank top, a pair of sneakers on her feet.
    "Much more comfortable," She said, tying her hair up in a ponytail. "Well. I'm ready to go."
    Melissa looked at her daughter and gave her a hug. "I'm so proud of you. You be careful, now."
    "I will."
    "And you two. . ."
    Colin and Ness turned to look at Melissa.
    "You take care of her."
    "Don't worry. They'll have to get through me to get to Paula." Colin said.
    Melissa smiled. "Good to hear. Now, you kids be careful. Stop by if you're ever in the area!"
    Paula waved to her mother, and they were off.

    Colin walked into the Chaos Theater, Paula and Ness in tow. Without waiting for an invitation, Colin marched into the manager's office.
    "Can I help you?" The manager, Mr. Poochyfud asked.
    "As a matter of fact, you can." Colin hauled out his wallet.
    "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I only talk money after shows. Strict rule of mine."
    Colin sighed, and put his wallet back. "Yeah, yeah."
    They walked out of the manager's office and whipped out their backstage passes. The ticket taker let them through, and Colin led them into the performance room.
    Colin looked around. "Wow. Not bad."
    "No kidding." Lucky replied. "Tell me, do you guys play? I know you play, but. . ."
    Colin looked at Ness. "Well?"
    "Guitar." Ness said, cracking his knuckles.
    "Paula, how 'bout you?"
    "Erm. . .I play sax." She replied.
    "Well. . . you guys wanna play with us?"
    "Sure." Colin said. he'd expected Paula and Ness to say the same, but no. They were stunned. Lucky, the lead singer of the Runaway Five, had just asked them if they wanted to play with them.
    "I. . .uhh. . .I think they're comatose." Colin replied. "Give 'em a second. I'm sure it's a yes anyway."
    Ness shook his head, bringing himself back to the land of the living. "Hell yeah, I wanna play with you!"
    Colin looked at Paula. "Umm. . .hello? Hellooooo? Anyone home?"   
    Paula blinked a few times, then looked at Lucky. "Gimme a bari sax, a two and a half reed, and some music."
    Lucky smiled. "Alright, this is gonna rock."
    "Almost as much as rubber chicken is," Colin muttered. "Seven drum sets. That's gonna be insane."
    Paula and Ness looked at Colin. "Rubber chicken?"
    "Mmm-hmm." Colin said. "Spirit competition between Ferris, my school, and Lewis and Clark, our rivals. Basicially, we go down to the arena, and the crowds have at it while the basketball teams do their thing. Whoever had more spirit wins. Well, this year, Ferris has the band, and B wants to have at least seven sets."
    Ness grinned. "I could have some fun with that. . ."
    "Hey, man, if you come back, I could hook 'ya up."
    Lucky laughed. "Reminds me of my school days. Anyway, it's showtime, people."
    Gojasu handed Paula a sax that stood nearly three feet tall, and a neckstrap. Next, he handed Ness a beautiful Fender jazz guitar with a sheet of chords on it.
    "Now, you're gonna be a little harder. . ." Lucky said, looking at Colin.
    "Why's that?" Colin asked.
    "We only have one set. . ."
    "I've got my set of practice marching drums," The drummer offered.
    "Set?" Colin asked. "Like, tenors?"
    "Mmm-hmm."
    Colin was dumbfounded. "I have died and gone to heaven. . ."
   
    "Ladies and gentlemen," The announcer began. "You know 'em. You love 'em. You know you love 'em, give it up for. . .The Runaway Five!"
    The crowd went mad.
    "But wait! There's more! You've heard of Ness Hert, the Shark killer from Onett! He's here! You've heard of Paula Polestar! She's here! And. . .you've heard of Colin Strife! He's here, too!"
    The crowd went absolutely wild.
    "Please welcome, The Runaway Five!"
    The curtains opened, revealing the drummer, the bassist, and the keyboardist, playing a basic blues riff. Slowly, Lucky and Gojasu backed onto the stage in time with the music.
    There was a hit from the band, then a little bridge over to the main section. As the band played the chord progression, Ness stepped on stage, guitar around his body. He stood next to the bassist while Lucky and Gojasu sang the first verse. They finished, and signaled Ness to do his thing.
    Ness knew this was where he had fun. Working his fingers in almost inhuman ways, he broke out in one of the most squealing guitar solos anyone had heard in their lives.
    The boy had talent. Now, it was time to introduce the other one. Paula stepped onto the stage, the sax strapped to her. It looked more like the instrument was playing her, but she was having fun nonetheless. Once again, Lucky and Gojasu sang, and signaled Paula.
    Now, Ness knew how to play guitar pretty well, but Paula knew the sax inside out, upside down, and in other directions that really shouldn't be used for playing.
    For a small girl, she knew how to push the low notes out of that thing. And the crowd ate it up. Low, fast, and cool. That was what the crowd loved. Paula took a bow, and joined the band.
    Now, it was time for Colin to go on stage. As he did, the crowd went wild. He let Lucky and Gojasu sing the last verse, then Colin went to work.
    Marching tenors are, essentially, a drum set that you wear. It totes anywhere from four to six differently tuned drums, and, if you have someone who really knows what they're doing, they sound - and look - really cool.
    And Colin more than knew what he was doing. Pulling out a pair of stubby tenor mallets, he let his hands do the talking, leaping from drum to drum like nothing.
    Then, it got wacky. He switched it up, Right over left, played the same riff. The crowd ate it up.
    Colin's favorite trick was one he stole from the Cavalier's 2001 show. He put his right hand mallet away, and grabbed a six inch cymbol from off stage. And he played the same riff one handed, adding cymbol hits in the appropirate places.
    But no, he wasn't done yet. He switched hands, using his off hand to play the solo, his on hand to hold the cymbol. While the crowd was busy going nuts, he put away both mallets and the cymbol, and played with his hands for a while. Finally, he whipped the mallets back out again and played a completely different riff, tossing his mallets from hand to hand. He then joined the band in a huge chorus shout, and the concert was over.
    And, had Ness, Paula, and Colin been going on to Threed, they'd have full ride scholarships to the best music school in Eagleland.

    "Stage hog." Paula said as Colin put the drummer's tenors back on the bus.
    "Hey, you were good, too. I just wanted to bust out everything I had."
    "Oh, come on." Gojasu said. " You were all great."
    "'And now for something completley different,'" Colin said, quoting Monty Python, "I've got something I've gotta do. Ness, Paula, if you'd be so kind. . ."
    The three marched into the theater, and again into Mr. Poochyfud's office.
    "Can I help you?" He asked.
    Colin hauled out his wallet. "Yes, you can."
    He then made a show of counting out twenty five hundred dollar bills and shoved it over to Mr. Poochyfud. "That's the Runaway Five's debt."
    "Wow." Mr. Poochyfud said. "I don't know what to say. I've got my money, so I'm happy. The Runaway Five are free to go."
    With that, all five of them walked into the office. "You saved us!" Lucky said to Colin. "Well, you guys goin' to Threed? We'll take 'ya."
    Colin laughed, and led Ness and Paula out of the office, then out of the theater, to where the drummer had the bus running and in the street. It was putting out smoke, but it had a big sound system, Colin could tell by the way they were blasting Buddy Rich out of the speakers.
    "The music should keep the ghosts out of our hair." Gojasu said. "Well, hop aboard!"
    Ness nodded and boarded the bus. Paula turned around, looked at her home city, and sighed.
    "Goodbye, Twoson. I hope I'll be back soon."
    She got on the bus as well. Colin turned, faced the city, took in another breath of the sweet air, spread his arms out once more, and let the wind cradle him once more.
    "I'm gonna miss this place." He said, turned around, and boarded the bus. And with that, they were off to Threed.

    "Good god," Ness said. "It looks like this town's seen better days."
    "Yeah, it has." Gojasu said. "It used to be a nice town, but now it's dark. Don't worry. I'm sure you can brighten it up with your own brand of sunshine. We're going on to the theater in Fourside, so once you get there, check us out!"
    "Will do." Ness said. Gojasu waved and got back on the bus. And with that, Ness, Paula, and Colin were trapped in Threed.
    "So. . .where do we start?" Ness asked.
    Colin sighed. "Dude, remember what I said. You're the leader; get us a plan."
    Ness sighed as he hauled the map out of his backpack.
    "Kinda makes you wish you hadn't gone on an adventure, huh?" Ness asked Paula.
    "A little." She replied.
    Colin smiled. "As are most who embark on these adventures. But that's not a choice you have. Your choice is, however, to decide what to do with the time that our whimsical god has given you."
    Paula smiled. "I suppose you've got a point."
    Colin nodded. "Anyway, we need to get Paula here armed up, then we need to think about what to do about Lilliput Steps. I had intened to hit it up after the Runaway Five show, but we kinda. . .whatever. We'll get it in time."
    "Mayhaps we should worry about the task at hand." Ness said.
    "You've got a point." Colin replied. "So, what's the plan?"
    "Well, think about the stereotypical zombie movie. Where do they come from?"
    "Graveyards. Plan nine tells us that." Colin said.
    "Then, tell me, what on. . .wait, what's plan nine?"
    "Plan Nine from Outer Space. Worst movie ever made."
    Ness looked at Colin. "Yeah. Anyway, zombies come from graveyards. So, where do we wanna go if we wanna get to the source of the problem?"
    "May I suggest somewhere warm? I'm freezing." Paula said, shivering.
    Colin pulled out his jacket from Ness' backpack and gave it to Paula. "Ness, I do believe we're going to the graveyard, no?"
    "Very astute of you." Ness said. "So, any ideas for a weapon for Paula?"
    Colin looked at Ness' bat on his backpack and the pair of sticks hanging from his own belt. "My professional opinion would dictate we hook her up with a staff. Under the given circumstances. . .frying pan."
    "Frying pan?" Ness and Paula asked in unison.
    "Yup." Colin said. "Frying pan."
    Paula looked at Colin, her eye raised. "Is this some sort of a ploy to get me to cook, too?"
    "Nope. Ever see a frying pan after hitting someone over the head with it?"
    Silence.
    "I rest my case. Besides, we don't have the cash to buy anything fancier."
    "Good point." Paula said.
    With that, the group walked into the local store and began browsing.
    "Man, what I wouldn't give for a good long sword right about now," Colin mused, looking around the store. "Wait a minute. . .how'd you get zombies?"
    Ness looked at Colin with a blank stare as three undead creatures walked down the street.
    "Nevermind."
    Colin sighed, and looked around the convienience store. "Y'know. . .for some odd reason. . .I'm suddenly reminded of a gangster movie. . .and, for an equally odd reason, I'm terrified by it."

    Kent checked his watch. Adam leaned against the ebony Nissan Skyline, looking at his sword.
    Kent swore. "Dammit, Kelly, hurry up!" He was hot, sweaty, the chain maille was heavy and impeded his movement, and, best of all, he was out in eighty-five degree weather wearing his full suit, plus trenchcoat, plus the chain maille shirt. On top of that, he had his heavy leather fighting gloves on.
    Kent fought in a mideval battle reinactment guild, hence the heavy gloves.
    And they were about ready to wrap themselves around Kelly's scrawny neck.
    With Kent's help, of course.
    "Alright, alright, I'm here."
    Kelly opened the door to his house, and was met by a very bemused looking Kent.
    "You're looking spiffed up."
    This was true - Kelly looked like he was taken right out of a James Bond flick. He had on his Wind Ensemble tux, bow tie and all.
    "And you're not?" Kelly retorted.
    Kent replied by opening his trenchcoat and showing Kelly his slew of daggers. He then opened his suit jacket and did the same. "And there's chain maille under my shirt."
    Kelly chuckled. "That figures."
    Kent turned around and began walking towards his car. "Alright, mount 'em up and let's go."
    Adam grinned and hopped into shotgun.
    "Wait! Kelly, you have a weapon?"
    Kelly produced a crossbow from inside his jacket. How Kent had missed it was beyond him, but it worked.
    "Okay, let's go."

    "Oh, this is gonna be juuuust peachy," Colin said. He'd bought himself a new pair of sticks and a new pair of gloves. Paula sported a brand new frying pan, and Ness brandished a new bat.
    The path of disembodied zombies behind them told volumes about how well they wielded said weapons.
    Currently, the three stood at the gate to the graveyard.
    "So, what's the plan?" Colin asked.
    "Umm. . .I dunno. You can fly, can't you?"
    "Sure." Colin replied.
    "Well, then, give us some recon."
    "With pleasure." Colin said, and took a deep breath. With a little wave of grey, he floated off the ground and got used to flying again. Confident in his aerobatics, he raised up and looked down at the layout of the graveyard.
    Three garbage cans and two zombies. Kid's stuff.
    Two of the garbage cans began moving. "Ghosts."
    One of the zombies looked up at Colin. . .
    And Colin felt that his soul was frozen as he and the zombie locked eyes.
    Almost in a reflex, Colin shot into his alpha transformation.
    Then, he lost his concentration.
    He was still in his alpha form, but he started falling at a quick pace.
    "Crap, crap, crap, crap!"
    Colin thought faster than he thought possible. Right before he plowed into Paula's head at terminal velocity - as Colin knew, getting hit by anyone at terminal velocity doesn't feel good - Colin emitted a right of grey again, and floated inches from Paula's head.
    "I hope you weren't showing off." Paula plainly said.
    "No, I wasn't." Colin said, dropping to the ground after moving away from Paula aways. "Trust me, I know what it's like to be hit by someone at terminal velocity. . ."
    Colin's stomach hurt at the thought of Casey landing on his stomach at roughly mach three at band camp last year.
    "Okay, anyway, it's pretty clear. Couple of ghosts, couple of zombies. They're not doing anything, but, then again, they're also not moving. They also seem to have the power to disrupt my thoughts."
    "Which is why you fell." Ness replied.
    "Mmm-hmm." Colin replied.
    "Right now, though, I suggest we get some rest. It's already nine o'clock."
    Ness checked his watch. "You're right."
    "There's the Threed Sunset Hotel," Paula offered. "Shall we go?"
    Colin nodded, and lead the troupe down the street. Strangely, the streets were bare of zombies. Colin shook it off, and turned the corner to the street that would lead them to the hotel.
    Standing in front of the hotel was the most beautiful woman Colin had ever had the pleasure of casting his eyes on.
    Colin resorted to his mantra. "I'm taken, I'm taken, I'm taken, I'm taken. . ."
    "Colin?"
    Paula snapped Colin out of his reverie.
    "Yes?"
    "Maybe. . .we should follow that woman in?"
    "Great idea, Paula, let's go!" Ness said, walking towards the hotel at a brisk pace.
    Colin shook his head and jogged after the over-zealous teenager, Paula right behind him. They entered the hotel. Colin stopped for a second.
    "What's wrong, Colin?"
    "Major bad vibe," Colin said. "Let's just keep going."
    Ness lead them into the room he saw the woman go into. Ness opened the door and lead the trio into the room.
    And it was now painfully obvious why there were no zombies on the streets.
    They had all gathered in the hotel room that Paula, Ness, and Colin were standing in.
    Colin's fighting instincts kicked in right away. The blonde boy leapt across the room as a large group of the zombies decended upon Ness and Paula. They were out cold, and two zombies carried them out.
    Colin didn't even notice. From his flying kick, he landed one kick right in the chest of a zombie. Colin went into his alpha form and took his fighting stance, his gloved hands holding his sticks.
    From his stance, he lunged at another two zombies, driving his sticks right through their skulls. He pulled them out, kicked a third in the chest, sending it hard to the ground with an audiable whump.
    With the grace and elegance of the Crusaders's elite, he spun on the ball of his foot and faced the only three opponents left in the room - the woman, and two zombies.
    Colin dealt with the zombies by launching two grey blasts at them. He sunk into his beta form, his hair shrinking back into his scalp, his eyes changing from green to teal to an almost neon blue with white pupils, fangs coming from his mouth.
    "So, Colin, we meet. Obviously,we've got the chosen two."
    Colin finally realized that Ness and Paula were, in fact, gone. He also noticed that a lot more than just the five zombies he'd put out of their misery were strewn about the floor - probably taken over by the sheer power of his transformation.
    "Not like it matters. I'll take care of you, then I'll find them."
    The woman smiled, and amazingly, took the form of Casey. "Well, then."
    Colin smirked and put himself into his attacking position.
    The two lunged at eachother. Colin threw several punches at Casey, she threw several herself, neither landing a hit.
    "Worthy opponent." Casey said, smiling. Her eyes were the same shade as Casey's aqua-marine eyes, but they didn't contain an ounce of life.
    They were as dead and as lifeless as sapphires.
    "Oh, trust me, you'll regret messing with me."
    Colin charged Casey. She sidestepped, only to notice Colin springing off the floor, leaping off the ceiling, and bringing his hands together. Before she could react, Colin smashed her nose with his fists.
    "Yeouch! You. . .you. . ."
    Colin planted his feet firmly on the ground again, adopting one of Kent's more relaxed fighting stances, what he called his "up-down stance" - one up sword, one down sword.
    She charged Colin and threw a punch at him. Colin grabbed her hand with his. She threw another, and the same thing happened.
    Casey smiled and used Colin's defensive move against him. She shoved him down and knee'd him in the stomach twice, sending him to the floor. Colin clenched his stomach and dropped out of his beta form to his normal form.
    From the door, several silver clad forms filed in and looked at the woman.
    "Well? Take him to Stonehenge!"
    The odd forms picked Colin up and filed out, the woman behind them. She looked around the hotel room, satisfied with her work, and continued following the Starmen.

-End "In Yonder Valley"
Next movement - Dance