Alright, I was with nothing else to do, so I decided to write promotional Fan Fiction for Earthbound.
Seeing as I already have a FanFic started that I have not finished, this will be a challange. Later Potater...


Act I, in scriptage form:

It's a bright buetiful day outside in Onett (I wanna tell everyone that what you are reading is of maximum difference from the fanfic I will soon submit) and Ness decided it was time to go outside for a long stroll.

Ness: (thinking) I've had a good life, I wonder what I'm gonna do here today? What new dangers will I encounter, what things will come of me today? Who dares to challenge the All Mighty NESS! Muwhaaaaaaaa! (Ness breaks from his sinister tone of laughter to see that he is about to walk square in to the side of the Onett game arcade) (Now speaking aloud) Woah, almost hit the wall, stupid wall. Tehehehh, I wonder whos gonna mess with someone as tough and as cool as me.


Just then, a hooded teen in a black costume emergers from the arcade Ness sees him for a direct immediate attack

Hooded Guy: Yeah?

Ness: Yeah, you bet mister, I wiped you guys out an I'll do it again too!

Hooded Guy: Well, I don't wanna fight, not someone like you. I saw your pic in a paper a few months back and I don't want to get PSIed to death, so lemme alone.

[Hooded guy exits]

Ness: (yelling after him) Hey! You can't do that! Your supposed to be agressive! Wha--? Where are you going? You little freak! Get back here! Hey! Wait... Ahh, I'm really starting to get bored here Grrr.

Ness eyes the pizza place near the arcade, the sign in the door says: "Mach Pizza Onett Branch, OPEN SOON!" Then a big red "X" and the words "Closed forever" Cover the sign.

Ness gets a sinister idea...

Ness: Hmmm.... I know! I'll break in to the old pizza place, and cook pizza using waves of PSI energy! Yeah! (Ness glares at the stupidity of the idea) Well, okay, maybe not. Geez, whadAmI gonna do! There is nothing to do in this little boring town. None of my friends are home and-- Ah HA! But I bet Paula is!

SCENE II

Ness teleports the appropiate distance across the country and ends up in the little city of Twoson. The scene takes off with Paula at her home at the Polestar Preschool, as you can tell, she is bored.

Paula: I'm so bored. Ughh..
Paula is currently flash freezing ice cubes in trays for the fun of it, and there isn't much fun in it.

Paula: I swear, tons a people here in this town, theres even a flea market and theres nothing to do. I can't believe this.

Just then there is a knock at the door. Paula runs to answer it, all the way, hoping, knowing it's her best friend in the world, yes, it would have to be Ness. Paula opens the door to find a round looking guy with brown hair, a red shirt and black suspenders.

Paula: Oh, hi. Apple Kid.

Apple Kid: Well, nice to see you too, thanks for the welcoming. Anyway I need to talk to you about something, it seems that...
Apple kid is interupted by Ness who is flying in behind him. When Ness lands, he hits the side of the preschool, staining the wall with a black charcoalish color.

Ness: Hey Paula! Man I been hankerin' ta see you. Oh, hi. Apple Kid. Anyway, Paula theres nothin' ta do, have you noticed that? The old Eagleland is loosing the hip baby, so I was wonderin' if you wanted to go to Summers or somethin', I got a few extra bucks and... (Cutting Ness short, Paula breaks in)

Paula: (laughing/giggling a little) Sure, okay okay Ness, you prove that you want this enough. Hey! Lets go now! We got nothin' else to do, lets go!
Paula and Ness teleport in to the eastern sky, and Apple kid is left standing on the front step of the Polestar preschool.

Apple Kid: (speaking aloud, seeminly to no one) Well, how do you like those potatoes? What am I going to do now? Looks like I'll have to do this myself. Now, I'll just go back home and...
Apple kid proceeds to ramble on to himself all the way back to his small little shack/house thing.

Curtain

The next scene is in a Wintery snowy area known as Winters (Har Har, Irony again) from a school for the gifted's laboratory comes an evil laugh.

Dark Shadowy Figure: YES YES! HA HA HA AHAAA!!! IT'S FINISHED! BEHOLD MY WRATH! HA HA HAAAAA!!
A man who seems to be a teacher with the name "Maxwell" sewn on to the breast pocket of his shirt comes to the laboratory to see what all the lauging is about

Maxwell: Jeff Jeff!! Whats the major break through? Have you actually created the first "Key Machine That Opens All Doors and Locks Instead of Just the Locker Rooms and Zombie Cage" machine like I asked for? Did ya use my orginal design?

Jeff: Nope, even better. I've created a "Homing Device" oh my it's the most complex, most welling machinery ever, behold it! Jeff hold up a small brass cow bell. Ringing it happily.

Maxwell: er.., Well, uh, congradulations, um. I'm uh, glad your so succesful.

Jeff: Yeah, I know, isn't this little thing cool? Now I just need someone to test it on, where's Tony?

Maxwell confusedly turns and walks out the door, but bumps in to Tony on the way out.

Tony: Hey Jeff, uh whats that?

Jeff: Why, it's a present for you Tony, my good ole' friend. Here...
Jeff ties a string to the bell and puts it around Tony's neck

Tony: COOL! Now everyone will always know when I'm coming. Thanks so much Jeff, your my best friend.

Jeff: Aww, get outta here Tony. Now I gotta check my email, go down to the basement and try it out, I'll tell ya if I can still hear you from up here.

Tony runs off downstairs

Jeff: That Tony, easy entertainment at it's best. Ahh, well time for mail. Lets see here. *Clack clack* c'mon iMac, wake up. Dum de dum, alright mail is here *click clack* oh no, no I gotta wait for this thing to connect. Hum hum hum, dum dum dum, te dum dum dum. Okay, were in, ahh stupid news headline, wait a second what is this?

Jeff sees the headline and starts running towards the door, he needs to go to his fathers lab for a ride to Summers, big news has just broken. Then from an air vent under Jeffs iMac comes a ringing and a voice.

Tony: Hey Jeff! Can you hear me? Where are you? Jeff! Jeff! Jeff?


Act II

We start the scene with Ness and Paula ariving in Summers, all seems well, until

Ness: Wow, yet another nice day. Go figure this is Summers, all of the days are nice here, always.

Paula: Well okay, lets go get something to eat, eh?

Ness: What does "Eh?" mean anyway? Oh well, lets go.

Ness and Paula walk among the calm crime-free streets of Summers until they approach the large mural painted building marked "Restaurant" They are seated by a waitress who takes their orders.

Waitress: How may I help you? Ooo! Wait! Do you know Spanish, oh oh let me test my Spanish skills on you uh... "Que va a pedir?"

Ness can recall his 7th period Spanish elective "Que va a pedir?" means "what are you going to order?"

Ness: I'll order a Double-steak sandwhich, a quarter-pounder hold the onions, an extra-large chili dog, and to top it off a raspberry smoothie.
Paula looks over at him, a little bit of disbelief

Paula: (a scilenced more uneasy tone) uh.. I guess, I guess, I'll have (speaking more confident now) the same exact thing.

Ness: (chalanginly) Alright then, lets see who finishes first.

Almost an hour later, the enormus mass of food that was ordered arives

Ness: Well, bout time. Now lets get to it!

Paula: Bring it on!

Ness and Paula never finish their food, they are lying on the ground having spasms from the stomach cramps in the excesive amounts of food that they ate too fast.

Ness: Urgle, urgle

Paula: Gurgle, urgle

The waitress arives and places a bill on Ness's bloated stomach. Ness reaches for it and when he sees it he jumps to his feet.
Ness: WHAT!!!! I'M NOT PAYING YOU FREAKS THIS MUCH! LOOK AT THIS, THIS IS A MISTAKE YOU FREAKAZOIDS!

Waitress: I'm sure there is no mistake sir, let me see the bill. Ooops sorry, my mistake.
Ness sighs a tone of relief

Waitress: Here is your bill.
Ness grows angry at the higher figure.

Ness: (in an angry low tone) what is this? The bill went from $1,400 to $14,000, WHO'S CRACKED OUT AROUND HERE!?! WHAT IS GOING ON!?

Paula: (noticing the sum) Geez, that is waaaay to much to pay, even for all this food.

Ness: Thats cause I'm not payin' these space folk. Nah, nope, no way, not today.

Waitress: Looks like you'll end up washing dishes for the rest of the day then...
Ness really doesn't like this idea

Ness: Well I don't think so, not for being treated this way, we're leaving. NOW!

Paula: Alright, I guess we are then, oh and by the way, you might not want to anger him too much.

Waitress: (sarcasticly) Why? Is he gonna turn in to the Incredible Hulk or something?

Paula: No worse, anyway see ya'

Just as they are leaving, two black men in suits with an elegant logo sewn to the right top shoulder of their suits block the door.

Ness: Hey, c'mon, let us pass mister.

Man 1: No way, not until you pay. Wow, that rymes! Hey Larry, that rymes! See? I'm not tone deaf after all!

Man 2 (Larry): Shut up Fred, just don't let these kids pass, alright?

Ness tries to pass him, but is blocked. Ness tries once again to pass him, but gets hit in the face. This now grows to a battle scene.

Paula: uh oh, I told you not to do it, now it's too late.

Ness: PSI PARALYSIS OMEGA! NOW!

Larry: Wha--! AHHHH! I can't move! Help me out! AHH!

Fred: You little weak, I'm still fine, get up. Hmm, I see that you can't.

Ness: %@#^ It didn't work on Fred! Ahh, geez, now you're asking for it Fred.
PSI ROCKIN' OMEGA! NOW!

Fred: Wow, what a rush, I didn't feel a thing! In fact, I feel stronger than before! Mwha ha aha!!
Ness is getting impatient

Paula: Fine, I'll do it myself! PSI FREEZE OMEGA! NOW!
The cold burst freezes Fred's hand, but it immediatly unthaws

Paula: What on this earth is going on here? PSI FIRE OMEGA! NOW!

Fred: Ouch! Hot! There we go, all nice and put out now. You guys are weak and helpless with your little psychic attacks, and your not that smart either! I was born invuenrable to these attacks, and now you will suffer true pain!!

Just then, a laser shoots the man from behind, he falls, K.Oed. The cause of the victory: Jeff Andonuts!

Jeff: I live! I prevail! Ha HA aH! Wow, what would you guys do without me? Eh?

Ness: Again with the "Eh?"...

Paula: Wow Jeff, how did you know we were here?

Jeff: I didn't, but I saw a headline that there were free cupcakes here in Summers and I wanted to have one so I came to pick one up, and there you were , in dire need of my help.

Ness: Thats really great Jeff, but I am a little depressed that I couldn't have defeated them. Maybe I'm just outta shape.

Jeff: Maybe. Hey! I have an idea! We can go back to Winters were I'll invent some robots that you can practice on to keep in shape!

Ness: Alright, Cool, you wanna go Paula?

Paula: Obviously it appears I need some practice too, lets go. Ness do the honors of teleport for us?

Ness: Sure thing baby, lets go Jeff.

Ness, Paula, and Jeff teleport in to the Northwest, it turned out that the day that was so boring, became a day that was so bearable, with battles for diginity, and battles for life. I 'm a fanfiction author, saying that until next time, have a safe dinner out.

Authors note: This is my first submission to SM.net, I figured out that HTML is somewhat more primative that I thought (especially in SimpleText), ocasionally while writing the first draft of the fic, I found it nessecary to insert a symbol, which often times wouldn't come out right on HTML, like the omega symbol. So if you see a symbol that looks weird in front of a word, know its still just computers.

BTW: I know that my spelling/gramatical status isn't all that good, there is no spell checker in simpletext.