The Legend of Almagest
Chapter 2
The Battle of Saturn Valley

	When Ness woke up, he was in the place he remembers as the 
safest that he could possibly be in.
	Saturn Valley. It was such a pleasant place that it was if the 
attack from the creature sent him to Kingdom come. Everyone there 
was a friend of his, there was always plenty to eat, and there was 
always a place to rest. 
	"BOING!" shouted a nearby Mr. Saturn as Ness rose, fatigued. 
"NeSs AwAkE zOoM!"
	"ZOOOOOOM!" chorused happy Mr. Saturns, jumping about 
the place, and rushing to Ness, inquiring on his status.
	Ness slowly walked out of the inn after conversing with several 
Mr. Saturns, insisting that he was tired, but fine, and found Dr. 
Andonuts and his uncle, Ninten.
	"Good to see ya awake, sport," said his uncle, with a smile. He 
was wearing his usual grey t-shirt and khaki slacks. He was tall, 
lanky, and had smoothed-down black hair. 
	"Yo, uncle, doc," said Ness, sleepily, "I just have one question 
that's been bothering me for the brief time from when I woke up. 
Was the thing that attacked me Giygas?"
	"Presumably so," said Dr. Andonuts, sounding a tad depressed, 
"I also checked you when you were sleeping, and I have some bad 
news."
	"Really? what?"
	"....your powers have been absorbed by some strange entity at 
some point during the commotion in Onett while you were asleep. 
You can build up your powers again through experience, but I 
believe that will not be possible, as Gigyas has already infiltrated 
Earth airspace at this time, and could possibly have other forcesÑ"
	"PSI ROCKIN' OMEGA!" Ness shouted, thrusting his hands in the 
air.
	Nothing happened.
	"PSI rockin' beta?" He said, pointing his hands in the air.
	Still, no effect.
	"PSI healing alpha?!" He shouted, surprised.
	Still, nothing happened.
	"I told you," said Dr. Andonuts, "something absorbed your 
powers."
	"I just don't believe that absorbing PSI powers is possible," said 
Ness. "did what happened absorb my physical strength as well?"
	"Unfortunately, yes."
	"Where are the others?"
	"Oh, they're safe," interjected Ninten, "I drove 'em over to 
Threed. Unfortunately, there are zombies there. Fortunately, they're 
completely respectable, non-flesh-eatin' zombies that try to act as 
normal citizens. Pretty weird stuff, seein' 'em and tryin' to think of 
'em as normal."
	"What happened to Onett, though?" said Ness.
	"This red-haired kid came in with his pet dragon the size of 
Pakistan or something," said Ninten, "and scared all the freaks away. 
Seriously, that thing was HUGE."
	"....are you telling the truth?"
	"Here, have some photos," said Ninten, handing him 
photographs of the chaos. Many of them were of an enormous 
dragon that Ness thought was probably the size of Onett itself, 
maybe even more.
	"...amazing. But why'd you take me here?"
	"Only the Mr. Saturns could revive you," said Dr. Andonuts. 
"The herb that would do so can only be touched byÑ"
	"DOINKDOINKDOOOINK!" shouted a panicked Mr. Saturn, 
bouncing up to Ness. "MY CHILDS GO IN CAVE OF NO RETURN ZOOM! 
BOING! HELP THEM!"
	"Well," said Ness, shrugging, "I'm currently powerless, so I 
can't go in a cave of no return and live."
	"THEN TELL THEM MEAN OLD MR. JUPITERS TO TAKE OUT THE 
BIG BAD MONSTER INSIDE THE CAVE OF NO RETURN! BOING BOING 
BOING BOING BOOOOOINNNNNGGGGG!!!!!! JUPITER VALLEY! THAT 
WAY!" The Mr. Saturn pointed with its nose to a cave, shaking.
	"Mr. Jupiters?"
	"MeAn pEoPlE oF oThEr TrIbE," said another Mr. Saturn, "tHaT 
tRy CaTcH uS aNd Do NaStY sTuFf. ThEy No SuCcEeD yEt, BuT tHeY 
wIlL wItH cHiLdS!!!!!!! BOING! DOINK!"
	"This is very serious," said Ness. "So I suppose I can negotiate 
with them. But just in case...Uncle Ninten?"
	"Yo."
	"Could you escort me? You have powers."
	"I HAD powers. Mine got sucked away too."
	"Oh, I guess I can do this alone." Ness then entered the cave, 
his bat at the ready (which, now, was just an old wooden bat that 
Ninten supplied, as he had lost the ultimate bat in the chaotic battle 
in Onett).
	It wasn't long before the cave led to a forest with a river 
running along the middle. The trees were large, and Ness suspected 
that they were redwoods (which he had never heard of being near 
Threed, and he wondered how Saturn Valley and this forest managed 
to stay off the maps). Inside the treetops, oddly enough, were little 
cottages. There were many stairways along the treetrunks, and 
ladders. This small community was bustling with activity, as well. 
There were many 2-foot-tall creatures rushing from place to place, 
chattering. They all wore clothes of sorts. Oddly enough, they had 
the heads of Mr. Saturns, only with a blue bow. Their bodies seemed 
humanlike, but relatively small compared to their half-foot-tall 
heads. A few spotted Ness, unfortunately, each holding a long knife.
	"WHO GOES THERE!" one shouted, in a quite normal Australian 
accent compared to the Mr. Saturns' incomprehensible chatter. The 
other three turned and spotted Ness. They all wore sea green ninja 
robes, except for one that showed up, who wore navy blue robes 
and had two knives in an X-shaped double sheath on his back.
	"Play with fiyah and ya get burned," he said to the other Mr. 
Saturns. "Leave 'im alone." He then turned to Ness. "Forgive 'em. 
They don't take too kandly to intrudahs. What are you here for? 
Visitin'?"
	"Actually," said Ness, "I'm here to see whatever leader you 
have about the monster in the cave of no return in Saturn Valley."
	"Oh, this is about them Mr. Satuhns. Follah me, please." He 
turned around and headed up a long, sturdy staircase to a regal hut. 
Ness followed him, appreciating that the town apparently used to 
belong to humans, so that the sizes of things weren't just intended 
for Mr. Jupiters.
	"Boss Vamvam!" said the blue-dressed Mr. Jupiter. "They's a 
human 'ere ta see ya!"
	"Send 'im in, Bokno," said a slightly lower voice.
	Ness went into the hut and saw the bearer of the voice, a Mr. 
Jupiter in a large armchair that would be more fitting in a living 
room than a palace, with a crown and small robes on.
	"Ah, Ness, the ol' sport that sent Giygas ta 'is makah," he said, 
reclining in his "throne." 
	"Actually, he's alive," said Ness, "but I come here for 
something different than that. You see, the Cave of No Return in 
Saturn Valley has a monster inside it, and I urge you see that the 
monster is taken out."
	"We've been plannin' that ahselves," said the boss. "Aftah all, 
we decided that we should stop 'untin' them Mr. Saturns, because 
they've done nothin' to us, and they too damn swift. But that 
monstah just won't cooperate, it wants to stay in that cave."
	"What kind of monster is this?"
	"The Darkorb. Real nasty bloke. Just a ball with huge bat wings 
and a couple o' floatin' 'ands. Supposedly, it could wipe out every 
last Mr. Saturn, and then maybe part a' a city's population, then a 
few thousand dollahs in damages before its lunch break."
	Just then, Ness's cellular phone rang his sound stone melody. 
Ness grabbed it immediately, pressed a button on it, and put it to his 
ear."
	"Yo?"
	"Ness, this is Dr. Andonuts. The Mr. Saturn children have 
escaped and are doing fine, but there are a few Mr. Jupiters here 
terrorizing the population. Ninten is currently in a battle with a few 
of them right now." Ness then heard a few gunshots in the 
background of Dr. Andonuts, and assumed that Ninten had his 
shotgun with him.
	"I'll be on it with some of the Mr. Jupiters, possibly," said 
Ness, putting away his phone. He then said sharply to the king, 
"There are Mr. Jupiters terrorizing the Mr. Saturns as we speak. I 
don't know if I can trust you that wellÑ"
	"CRIKEY!" shouted Vamvam, jumping from his "throne." 
"Everybody KNOWS I outlawed Mr. Saturn 'untin'! BOKNO!"
	"What is it?" said the Mr. Jupiter dressed in blue.
	"Get some a' ya fightahs an' 'ead ovah ta Saturn Valley! They's 
some rogue 'untahs down they!"
	"Righto, ya 'ighness," said Bokno. He then turned to Ness. 
"Wanna come with?"
	"I would like to," said Ness, "but my powers have been stolen."
	"Well," said Bokno, elbowing Ness on the leg lightly, "maybye 
this'll 'one ya skills a bit, eh?" 
	When Ness, Bokno, and ten Mr. Jupiterian warriors arrived at 
Saturn Valley, it was Devoid of Mr. Saturns, who were apparently all 
hiding. There were a few Mr. Jupiters running back to Jupiter Valley, 
however, and fifteen staying and fighting Dr. Andonuts and Ninten. 
Both had a different sort of gun with them, a technology that the 
Mr. Jupiters, fortunately, were still trying to perfect. Unfortunately, 
the Mr. Jupiters were fluent in the martial arts that they had 
invented over the years. 
	"STOP!" shouted Bokno. "IN A' NAME A'....SOMETHIN' 
IMPORTANT, I COMMAND YOU TO STOP 'UNTIN' THESE MR. 
SATURNS!"
	"BUGGER OFF!" some of them shouted. Immediately, the ten 
Mr. Jupiterian warriors with Ness and Bokno rushed to them with 
Bokno leading them. A fierce battle with between the two forces 
commenced. Ness decided to join in, but before he could, three of 
the rogue Mr. Jupiters jumped to him.
	Ness hit one on the head with his bat, but not seeing a Mr. 
Jupiter knife do serious damage to his leg.
	"GYAAAGH!" Exclaimed Ness. "PSI lifeup alpha!" Immediately, 
his wound was healed. He then kept bashing every Mr. Jupiter that 
got close to him. He got a few cuts, but he didn't care. The three 
fell, one by one.
	Eventually, the good Mr. Jupiters won with only minor injuries 
to both sides, most of the rogue side retreating to Jupiter Valley, 
where they would surely be dealt with, the rest having been 
captured by the warriors.
	After thanks from the Mr. Saturns, Bokno, the two best of the 
Mr. Jupiterian warriors, and Ness were well inside the Cave of No 
Return. They had come across a few new foes in the torchlit cave, 
but none like the one they were soon to face.
	A strange man wobbled drunkenly to the party. He had 
nothing but pants and a vest on, exposing his chest laden with 
hanging jewlery. It also had very strange, inexplicable red hair.
	"'eyyy, maaannnn," it managed to say. "youu 'gainnnnst 
Giyyyygas?"
	"Well..." said Ness, "let me think. YES."
	"Whaddat specimen a' 'uman?" inquired Bokno to Ness.
	"Just a new age retro hippy of some sort," replied Ness. 
"Nothing too special."
	"Whaat you talkin' 'booooooooouuuuuuuuuut?!" slurred the 
hippy angrily. "I'm pleenty speeeeciaaalll. Let's all sixteen of us have 
a duuuuueeeelllll!!"
	"Izzat bloke possessed," inquired Bokno again, "or just 
drugged up?"
	"Behoooollld mah RUUUULLLLER!" exlcaimed the hippy, 
whipping out a small ruler. "Now...ah can figah out the length of 
things all EAAAAASY-LIIIKE!" Ness rolled his eyes, and bashed the 
hippy on the head with his Mr. Jupiterian 3-foot club that he 
recieved after the Battle of Saturn Valley (named so officially 
because it was the biggest battle that Saturn Valley ever 
experienced). Immediately, the Hippy regained his senses.
	"Oh, excuse me," he said, nervously, "I'm truly sorry about 
that, thank you very much!" He immediately ran to the exit of the 
cave, which really wasn't very far away, because there were only 
three chambers that seperated the party and the cave exit.
	All was not well, however. The ruckus had awakened a pair of 
glowing red eyes that appeared deeper into the cave. The eyes got 
closer, and revealed their bearer: the Darkorb. It was a purple ball 
with two huge purple wings and two floating, wrinkly dark purple 
hands, just as Boss Vamvam described. The width of it with wings 
fully spread out was five meters, yet it had great freedom, as the 
chamber of the cave it was in was immense.
	"Ness..." it hissed, from its invisible mouth. Immediately, Ness 
used PSI Rockin' Alpha, which he had learned from experience in the 
beast-ridden cave. The Darkorb hissed a shrill "EYYAAARRR!" and 
grabbed Bokno.
	"LET GO A' ME," shouted Bokno, but his request was of no 
avail. The Darkorb had already thrown him into a cave wall, causing 
Bokno great pain.
	"Sweet JESUS that 'urts!" shouted Bokno. He immediately 
jumped to his feet, and drew both of his knives. He then rushed 
toward the Darkorb, who was shooting small fireballs at Ness from 
one of his hands. Bokno began spinning around at a very high speed 
with his knives extended outward, and, doing so, cut off a wing of 
the Darkorb. Ness also gave the Darkorb a swift blow to the head.
	The Darkorb screeched, and backed off. It then hissed "PSI 
magnet omega," and spun its arms around in a wide circle. A small 
vortex was created in the middle of the circle, which quickly grew to 
the edges of it, and it seemed to suck an invisible force out of Ness, 
who was close by, trying to have a good hit. He was slightly in panic, 
as he realized that PSI magnet omega drained his remaining PSI 
power, and therefore, he could not use PSI until he did such a thing 
as rest.
	Bokno, along with the two Mr. Jupiterian warriors that were 
with them, led a massive stabbing attack on the Darkorb. The 
Darkorb screeched even more, shot fireballs wildly at the Mr. 
Jupiters with its eyes, and flung its hands towards Ness, strangling 
him. Ness struggled to get the hands off, but soon, they just stood 
still, fixed on his neck.
	"WOOHOO!" shouted Bokno. "Scratch one Darkorb!"
	"Then," inquired Ness, "why are these hands still gripped on to 
me?"
	"Oh GREAT. Death grip."
	After the hands were removed from Ness's neck, the party 
decided to go on to the last chamber of the cave, and soon, they 
came out the other side of the cave, which turned out to be more of 
an underground tunnel. The thing that struck their eye most was a 
clearing with a large tree. Bokno went over to it, and Ness followed.
	"This tree was planted by me ancestors," said Bokno. "It's a 
symbol of the warriors a' Jupitah Valley bein' able to get past the 
monstahs that used ta inhabit the cave."
	Just then, a strange melody entered Bokno's head. Somehow, 
Bokno felt like he could remember it for the rest of his life.
	Soon, Ness came out of the cave entrance, along with his new 
friend named Bokno, and the two Mr. Jupiterian warriors. They were 
met with a crowd of applauding Mr. Saturns and Mr. Jupiters, as 
Bokno raised the corpse of the darkorb above him.
	The happiness was to be short-lived, however. There was a 
loud pounding, and a familiar spider-shaped mechanical vehicle 
lumbered along, with Mr. Saturns and Mr. Jupiters rushing to get 
out of its way. In the vehicle was the person that Ness least wanted 
to see.