The One and All: A tale of earthbound.net
Chapter 1: Do-or-Die
"Red
alert! Red alert!" The security guards at the Toys OR' Us store knew what that
meant. They grabbed their weapons and ran at top speed to aisle 11C.
"They
said this might happen!" yelled the boss of the security guards working there.
Nothing else was said as they ran down the eerily quiet aisles of toys and then
turned into aisle 11C. Quiet belied what they saw.
They stopped in front of a
video game box that was glowing.
An EarthBound game box.
They all stood
there watching, guns halfway out of their holsters.
Suddenly, with an
ear-splitting whine, the game tore itself apart and a blinding flash of light
forced the officers to look away.
When they could see again, the boss was on
the ground, a bloody hole having been gouged out of his chest.
When they
looked up, a bee the size of a cat stared them down, hovering silently in the
air.
Suddenly, the guards opened fire and the sound of gunfire could be heard
for blocks. All of them missed in the excitement, except for one, who hit it
right in the chest. "I think I got it!"
He spoke too soon. The bullet bounced
off the bee and hit him. All of the guards stood astonished, looking at their
fallen comrade, and then the bee, and then back again. Then they ran as fast as
they could. The bee took off in another direction and flew up and into a
ventilation shaft.
The bee dodged up, down, left, and right to escape the fan
blades and belts that were in the ventilation system, and then he burst forth
into the outside air and away from the store.
He flew on for a few minutes,
just enjoying the freedom of being in flight and the cool summer evening air.
Heading for one of the more peaceful residential neighborhoods, he kicked some
speed in and never looked back.
He flew down to a small, unlit house. I was
instructed to go there. Picking up speed, he dove and landed, then transformed
himself into a human again. Now a young man with icy blue eyes and light brown
hair, wearing jeans and a shirt, he knocked on the door. The man who answered
it, when he saw who it was, smiled and said, "Good to see you, Buzz-Buzz. It's
been a while."
"Indeed it has, Master. You sent for me?"
"You are alone in
this world. Come inside and I'll tell you the details."
Buzz-Buzz's
master showed him into his office. "Have a seat, please." Buzz-Buzz noted that
the appointments in the room were elegant, yet far from ornate. A large,
beautifully crafted, but not overwhelming, desk of mahogany wood dominated the
office, which, while small, was far from cramped. Buzz-Buzz noted that the
appointments appeared rather antiquated; even the computer sitting on the desk
didn't seem out of place among all the old furniture. He didn't find the antique
nature of the office repulsive, however. On the contrary, the office appeared
rather pleasing to the eye, and, as he sunk down into a large, leather chair,
Buzz-Buzz found it to be rather relaxing after the events of the past few
hours.
Before he took his own seat, Buzz-Buzz's master reached over to a
miniature refrigerator which had enough room in it for two bottles of wine and
four glasses. Removing one bottle and uncorking it, then pouring out two glasses
and handing one to Buzz-Buzz, he said, "This wine has been aged rather a long
time. Ten years, in fact. I hope you'll find it to your liking."
Hope
nothing, Buzz-Buzz thought. I'd better like it, as far as you are
concerned. Buzz-Buzz had nothing but the deepedst respect for his master
and his abilities, but he knew his master could be a bit forceful and
commandeering in cases like these. He gracefully accepted his drink and sipped
at it, allowing the wine to pool on his tongue for a moment and then swallowed,
feeling it trail fire down his throat and clearing up his sinuses. It was, in
fact, very good. "Excellent wine, Master."
His master smiled and sat down.
"Of course, I didn't have you come here for a wine-tasting party. I would love
to chat, but that would be like using a carpenter's hammer to break a boulder.
I'd rather cut to the chase and use a sledge instead."
Buzz-Buzz took another
drink, letting its vapors clear his sinus further, and then nodded.
"You see,
Buzz-Buzz, this EarthBound game has been catching on fire lately. Sales are
strong, so, of course, Nintendo is hoping to create its own website about it.
Tell me, young Buzz-Buzz, what you know of the websites Nintendo
creates."
"Garish, awkward, and loaded with ads, Master."
Buzz-Buzz's
master smiled. "Excellent. The problem is this: Nintendo, as we know, makes
horrendously poorly-designed websites for its games. We don't want that
happening with this particular game. We need you to beat them to the punch."
Opening a desk drawer and pulling out a small box, Buzz-Buzz's master handed the
box to Buzz-Buzz. "In there, you will find ID cards such as a drivers' license,
keys to a car, a credit card, ATM card, checkbook, and some cash. You'll also
find keys to your new house and its address. Your new home will be fully
equipped with your computer station, including FTP access to your server.
There's also a hydroponics lab so that you can curtail some of your costs by
growing some of your food at home."
As Buzz-Buzz looked through it all, he
realized it must all be falsified and whistled. He knew that to have all this ID
and funding accounds falsified cost a lot of money, and he also knew that in the
past, his master had settled for nothing but the best when it came to false
documents. Knowing that, he realized that the whole set must have cost no less
than a quarter of a million dollars.
"You are authorized to do anything
necessary to see to it that your project is a success, even to the point of
finding other people to help you out. But if you fail at this project, the
punishment will be severe." He swiveled around and looked out his window. "This
is a do-or-die situation. Either you do it or you die. Now go. You'll find your
car in the garage. I wish you luck." Turning around again, he stood up and
extended his arm across the table. Buzz-Buzz tucked the box under his left arm
and returned his master's handshake with a firm grip of his own. Turning on his
heel, he walked quickly from his master's office, grinning at the mission he had
been given.