A Dark Ness story The year is 199X... In Onett, a small town in Eagleland... Ness and friends recently celebrated Ness's 14th birthday, and with the expected arrival of Ness's father. However, Paula showed up with bad news...Giygas is alive! However, Paula doesn't know what Giygas is after, or why she can't contact Poo... We join our friends walking along Main Street in Onett's suburbs. Ness: Dad...darn it! Why do I have to go when father's showing up...? Jeff: Sorry Ness, maybe some other time...but if we don't do something, I bet Giygas will do something terrible and then you'll NEVER see your dad! Paula: He's right... Ness: Yeah...hey Paula, how did you get here? Paula: Grey Hand Bus. I nearly blew my allowance! Unlike some people, I don't get paid for slaughtering Spiteful Crows... Jeff: Aaaugh, there's one now! Ness: SMAAASH!!! Jeff: Hey, it dropped a cookie... Ness: Enough belly achin'. Let's get Poo... Ness and friends began Teleportation Beta, as civilians watched them run around in circles like circus freaks. Eventually, the gang ended up in Dalaam... Ness: Hey, something's wrong... Homes demolished. Pink Cloud Cave in pieces. Poo's girlfriends in shock everywhere. Paula: What happened?! Tiffany: Poo...oh, Poo... Jeff: Are you Poo's girlfriend? Tiffany: Y-Yes...oh... Jeff: What happened here? Tiffany: Poo...he has been possessed by...a... Ness: Yes? YES? Tiffany: I...I don't know what it is...I...I think it was...Gi...something... Paula: Giygas? Tiffany: I-I don't remember...I need some Rice Gruel... Ness: Let's go. This place is... Jeff: Go on. Ness: Huh? Jeff: I've invented a portable Sky-Runner...I call it the Sky Runner Micro1! Paula: Ok...but how will you find us? Jeff: There's a PSI radar on it...I can track you down...I just want to find out more, Poo couldn't have done this... Paula: Ok. I guess we'll meet again later... Jeff: Ciao... Ness & Paula teleported off, while Jeff went on to explore Poo's Palace. Jeff: Hello? Jeff heard his own voice echo in the quiet darkness. Jeff: Huh...well, let's see...take a right here, a left here...ah-ha! Poo's Throne! Jeff walked up to the throne...then he heard a slight laughter. Jeff: Hello? Hello? Anyone here, there, anywhere? ?:Hahahahaha... Jeff: O man...! Suddenly, a big boulder fell out of the sky! No wait, it was a man! It was... Santa Claus with a yellow beard? ?: Pictures taken instantaneously! I'm a photographic genius, if I do say so myself! Jeff: AAARGH! IM SICK OF YOU! MULTI BOTTLE ROCKET, HAAA! KA-BLAMMMO!!! Mr. Camera Man: Just...say... Jeff: Fuzzy Pickles...I know already. Geez, what a waste of time...I guess I'll go back to Ness and Paula... A mysterious white light un-earthed behind Jeff... Jeff: Wha, what are you? AAAAAAH! Let go of me, hey, stop it, nooo! The only remaining sign of Jeff was his shredded jacket, and broken glass "crumbs" followed the trail of where the monster took Jeff. Meanwhile, Ness & Paula head into the forest west of Twoson, after Paula picked up here Magic Frying Pan and several hand-aids. Paula: Well, this sure isn't a trail...OW! I just poked myself with this pine branch... Ness: This ain't exactly a holiday inn... Paula: Do you feel something strange? Ness: No... Paula: (gasp) Ness, look up! The sky! Ness looked at the sky to his unbelieving horror...Giygas's image was straight above them! Giygas: Ness...Ness...Ness...friends... Twoson was shown Giygas's true definition of "friends" when it was demolished. Paula: Mother! Noo! To be continued by Dark Ness.