EB Rewrite Part 19: BUNNYS!

(Ness and Co. come flying out of nowhere and screech to a halt in front of the Palace of Dalaam)

Poo: I’m home! PSI Teleport B works every time!

Ness: (with tears streaming from his eyes) It’s not fair! Everyone has more powerful PSI attacks than me!

Paula: Can’t argue there, that’s why they used MY skills in SSB!

Exit Mouse: Hey, don’t you have two omega skills, Ness? Paralysis and Hypnosis!

Ness: (mumbling) They suck. They’re not even useful against more than 1 guy anyway…

Paula: (jumping up and down) I agree! Ness, your psychic powers suck!

Jeff: But he DOES have all the money.

(everyone calms down)

Exit Mouse: Oh yeah.

Paula: Of course.

Photographer Guy: (flies off) What a great action shot!

Jeff: Whoops, we missed him.

Poo: Let’s check inside and talk to my sensei! (they head inside)

Poo’s Sensei: Poo, I am glad to see you have returned.

Poo: (kneels) Sensei, teach us your wisdom!

Ness: (shrugs) Yeah, we came here to go to some Cave of Bunnys, or something.

Exit Mouse: (smacks him in the head) That’s Bunny Cave, nitwit.

Ness: Sorry, master!

Jeff: We can’t help it, we’re really tired...

Poo’s Sensei: (thinks for a second) Hm, your future battle will be considerably more dangerous than you expect. Don’t be careless...

Poo: I see.

Ness: What does that mean?

Poo’s Sensei: It means you can rest here for the night.

Paula: Duh.

Poo: Since you’re all my guests, please choose your spots first. (motions to the floor)

Exit Mouse: We hafta sleep on the floor?

Poo: Where else would one sleep?

Paula: (whips a mattress out of her purse and tosses it on the floor) Here! G’night, guys! (falls asleep on her makeshift bed)

Jeff: Sigh, whatever. (falls asleep on the floor)

Ness, Poo, and Exit Mouse: (fall to the floor, asleep)

Ness and Co. (wake up the next morning, perched on Poo’s throne)

Paula: (balancing on the top) Hey, how’d my mattress get stuffed back in my purse?

Exit Mouse: I must admit, this is a pretty comfy armrest.

Poo: (jammed underneath the throne) Ow...

Photographer Guy: What a great photograph! (flies off, blowing a hole through the palace’s roof on his way out)

Jeff: (as they scramble off the throne) That guy’s getting creepy.

Poo: Why’d you let him do it, sensei?

Poo’s Sensei: Eh, he said he was a friend of yours.

Phone Man: (suddenly runs up to Ness, screaming) You’ve finally come!!!!!!!!!! (falls to the floor before Ness)

Ness: Uh... (pulls the phone off the top of his head) Hello?

Ness’ Dad: Ness? It’s your Dad.

Ness: Hi, Dad.

Ness’ Dad: Well, exp. to the next level: more than you could ever get.

Ness: Hm, that doesn’t sound good.

Ness’ Dad: Well, I’m about to go to sleep again, so good luck! ::click::

Ness: (drops the receiver back onto Phone Man’s head) Well, that was important.

Jeff: Was it?

Poo’s Sensei: Enough talk! DESTINY AWAITS!!!! (throws them out the door)

Exit Mouse: (as they come to a stop at the bottom of Dalaam’s hill-like shape) How does he know destiny awaits? It could be sprinting ahead for all I know.

Poo: (walks over to the Rabbit Statues blocking the cave) Hm… (smacks the lead one with the Carrot Key)

Rabbit Statues: (Disappear, taking the Carrot key with them)

Poo: (dives into the cave, landing in a ninja stance) Yaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

Ness: (walks in behind him) Yeah, so this is the cave?

Paula: Why’s it so bright in here?

Jeff: Maybe...them? (points to the dozens of glowing orbs of light shooting around the ceiling)

Exit Mouse: (Starts climbing up a rope) Let’s go check it out.

Jeff: (as they reach the top) Hey, what’s that? (wanders over to a hole)

Paula: Wow, what a scary hole. Who knows where it could go?

Jeff: Bah, I don’t fear the unknown.

Glowing thingy: (drops down behind Jeff)

Jeff: What’s that?

Glowing thingy: (shoves Jeff into the hole)

Jeff: Kill that thingy!!!! (disappears from view)

Glowing thingy: (it’s electrical charge fades to reveal it as...the Kiss of Death!)

Paula: Giants electrified lips? What the heck?

Ness and Poo: (bash the Kiss of Death)

Kiss of Death: (closes over Poo’s head)

Poo: (points to his head)

Exit Mouse: Egads, it swallowed his head!

Paula: (blows it off with a blast of PSI Fire) You okay, Poo?

Poo: (quite singed) Well, it’s a good thing I don’t have much hair...

Ness: We better find Jeff. (Ness, Paula, Poo, and Exit jump into the hole)

Jeff: Thanks for finding me...sorta. (as they land on him)

Exit Mouse: (opens a gift box) Hey, a sudden guts pill. Cool.

Ness: Uh oh, we’ve got company!

Thunder Mites: (a gang of three shed their electric coating and attack)

Paula: (dashes under one, smacking it with her fry pan)

Thunder Mite A: (fires a few crashing boom bang attacks at Poo and Ness)

Poo: Agh! (is zapped into the wall)

Ness: (deflects the attack with his Franklin Badge then smacks the thunder mite)

Thunder Mite B: (blasts a few PSI Thunders at Jeff)

Jeff: (dives behind a rock to avoid the attack) Die cloud! (blasts it away with a few shots from his Double Beam)

Thunder Mite C: (fires three blasts of PSI Thunder Beta at Paula)

Paula: (tosses her fry pan into the air, catching the thunder attacks) Always carry a metal fry pan, cloudy! (smacks the Thunder Mite)

Thunder Mite C: (disappears)

Exit Mouse: You won!

Ness: You sound like you’re surprised.

Jeff: Well maybe we can go...(falls into another hole)

Poo: Jeff sure is clumsy. (trips over a present box and falls in the hole)

Exit Mouse: (opens the present) HOLY CHEESE!!!!

Paula: Sounds tasty, can I have some?

Exit Mouse: No, not that. Inside the present is...ROCK CANDY! (holds aloft the prized crystalline sugar candy treat)

Ness and Paula: Wow.

Exit Mouse: (hides it away) As soon as I get a tin of cocoa...

Ness: (as a slime generator tied to a rope comes flying out of the hole and loops around his neck) Hrk!!!! (falls to the ground beside the hole)

Jeff and Poo: (climb up the rope and out of the hole)

Jeff: Oops, sorry Ness. (takes the rope off of him) Glad you helped us up tho’.

Ness: (gasping) No...problem...Jeff.

Poo: Look what I found! (holds up the bracer of Kings) It’s the bracer of Kings! I lost this thing years ago!

Ness: (looking at it) What’s a bracer?

Paula: Obivously...it’s...that thing.

Exit Mouse: (peering into the third hole) Hey, I bet this one leads to the boss guy! I can hear music!

Jeff: (as they crowd around the hole) Why would there be music there?

Exit Mouse: Duh, the sixth melody! Hahahahahahahaha!

Poo: Makes sense. (they dive into the hole)

Tangoos: (in the middle of getting down) Wha?

Paula: Gasp! Evil flute playing evil thingies!

Poo: The mystical Tangoos? When they play their flutes, legend has it that you fall… (falls asleep)

Ness: Oh no! Poo was just about to tell us what they do!

Jeff: No time for that, we can beat them easily. (blows the flute out of a tangoo’s hands) See?

Tangoo A: (without a flute, it wraps it’s tail around Jeff’s head) GROWL!

Jeff: AHHHHH!!!!!!!! GET IT OFF!!!!!!! (runs around in circles with the Tangoo)

Paula: (sighs) You’re doing it the hard way, Jeff. (bashes another tangoo with her fry pan)

Tangoo B: (starts playing it’s flute)

Paula: I don’t think so! (grabs the flute from the Tangoo and smacks it with it’s own flute)

Tangoo B: (is tamed)

Tangoo C: (breaths some poison at Ness)

Ness: Yuck! PSI Healing B!

Tangoo C: (headbutts Ness)

Ness: Nyat fair! (SMAAASHES the Tangoo away)

Exit Mouse: (swings a Tangoo around by his tail and bashes another one with him) That was easy, no?

Ness: I think I see a light. (they head over to the shining spot)

Conducting Menace: Hee hee! (drops down in front of them)

Poo: An electrified corpse? Isn’t that kinda evil?

Jeff: Whatever it is, it doesn’t make much sense.

Conducting Menace: Tee hee hee! (PSI Flashes them)

Ness: (crying uncontrollably) Ack! I can’t see!

Paula: (also crying) What is this? Water, coming from...eyes?

Jeff: (Yeah, he’s crying too) The horror, THE HORROR!

Poo: (Of course HE’S crying) Vision...blurred...must slay comrades!

Condcuting Menace: (giggling uncontrollably) You’re so funny! (Crashing Boom Bang attacks Jeff, Paula, Poo, and Ness)

Ness: (deflects the lightning with his Franklin Badge)

Conducting Menace: HEY! (blasts Ness repeatedly)

Ness: (deflects the lightning)

Conducting Menace: Tee...hee...hee. (is blown away by the lightning)

Ness and Co. (wipe their eyes and continue to the sixth sanctuary)

Thunder and Storm: (hover in front of the exit to the Pink Cloud) This is our sanctuary now, DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!

Paula and Poo: (double PSI Freeze Thunder and Storm)

Thunder and Storm: (as their body solidifies) Crashing Boom Bang attack!

Jeff: Argh! (is zapped)

Ness: (Deflects one of the blasts with the Franklin Badge)

Thunder and Storm: (as they’re hit by their own attack) Curse that Franklin Badge! (they rush forward and intertwine with Ness)

Jeff: Oh no! They’ve got Ness in their clutches!

Paula: Oh well, looks like we’ll have to blast Ness too! (readies a PSI Freeze Gamma blast)

Exit Mouse: (swallows the last bit of his rice gruel) I don’t think so! Jeff, take the sudden guts pill! (rams the pill down Jeff’s throat)

Jeff: Wow, sudden guts! (body slams Thunder and Storm with a SMAAASH!)

Thunder and Storm: (are blown back into the rock wall, dropping Ness)

Ness: (as his backpack vibrates wildly) The Sound Stone!

Thunder and Storm: (Fires off a few more elctrical blasts as it guards the exit)

Paula: PSi Freeze Gamma! (blasts it)

Poo: Yeah! (blasts Thunder and Storm with PSI Freeze)

Jeff: (shoots wildly at Thunder and Storm with his bottle rockets)

Ness: (as the blasts his Thunder and Storm, he hurls the Sound Stone)

Sound Stone: (shoots straight through Thunder and Storm and out onto the Pink Cloud)

Thunder and Storm: Ouch... (they disintegrate into tamedness)

Ness and Co. (head out onto the Pink Cloud)

Sound Stone: (records the melody of the Pink Cloud)

Ness: Oh yeah, I got another melody! (flips the victory/peace thing as he puts the Sound Stone back in his backpack)

Paula: Hey, this cloud is more purple than pink!

Jeff: It’s an illusion!

Paula: (smacks Jeff) No it’s not, moron.

Exit Mouse: Well, now that our dozens of misadventures are over, should we go to Scaraba now?

Ness: Yeah, let’s go back to Summers! But we can’t teleport now...

Poo: Or can we? MUA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! (they teleport off to Summers with Poo’s PSI Teleport B)