EB Rewrite part 16: We Return to the Return of Paula's bla bla bla...

Jeff: That doesn’t sound good...

Exit Mouse: Come on already! We need to get around to saving Paula sooner or later.

Jeff: (as they walk up to the Monotoli building) Hey, I thought it was consumed in flames!

Ness: (smacks Jeff) Illusion! Remember?

Jeff: (smacks Ness) You said to never speak of it again!

Electra: (dashes up) TROUT FLAVORED YOGURT!!!!!!!! (grabs the cup of yogurt from Exit and runs inside the building) You can visit me on the 47^th floor!!

Ness: (shrugs)

Exit Mouse: Hey, that was MY cup! I better get it back! (they head inside)

Jeff: (as they head into the elevator) Can we go to the 47^th floor?

Elevator Lady: ...

Ness: Uh, hello?

Exit Mouse: (reaches for the button)

Elevator Lady: (smacks Exit’s hand away) You’re staring at my hips!!!!!!

Jeff: Uh, no.

Exit Mouse: Aren’t you like 40?

Ness: (smacks Exit) We don’t want any trouble...

Elevator Lady: This elevator is only for Mr. Pokey’s use.

Ness: But, it was the only elevator in the building!

Elevator Lady: Stop standing behind me and staring at my hips! (starts the elevator)

Ness: (looks to Jeff and shrugs)

Jeff: (whispering to Ness and Exit) Maybe she’s insane...

Elevator Lady: I can hear you, you sick freaks! (shoves them out of the elevator on the 47^th floor)

Jeff: Ugh, I think I’m gonna take the stairs next time.

Ness: There are no stairs.

Exit Mouse: The window then.

Ness: (suddenly draws his bat) That elevator lady said MR. POKEY!!!!!!!!

Jeff: Wha?

Ness: I sense my arch-nemesis nearby! (dives through a door and into a hallway)

Jeff and Exit Mouse: (follow Ness through) Uh, Ness?

Ness: It...is...HIM. (stands and walks slowly forward to meet with Pokey)

Jeff: Eew, that’s Pokey?

Exit Mouse: Avert your eyes, Jeff, lest ye go blind!

Pokey: Aw, my poor old friend Pig’s Butt...

Ness: It’s been awhile, Pokey. I’m surprised you’re still alive.

Pokey: (laughs insanely) Did you come here to borrow some money, Ness? From ME, Master Pokey? Oooo la la! I’m now Geldegarde Monotoli’s partner. I give him political and economical advice, as well as getting him the latest in evil technologies heard there were some losers asking for him, was that you, Ness?

Jeff: That’s it! (draws his weapon)

Ness: Hold, Jeff!

Jeff: Oh...GAH!!!! (is tackled by some security personnel)

Pokey: Hahahahaha. This place isn’t for the likes of you, Ness! Get outta here now, loser!

Security Guys: (grab Ness, Exit, and Jeff and hurl them out the door)

Jeff: I really don’t like that guy.

Ness: You’ll learn to deal with it until we actually get to fight him.

Jeff: I can do that.

Exit Mouse: (holding Pokey’s wallet) What a loser! He’s only got $1200 in his wallet!

Security Guard: (as they walk over to the next elevator) Hold it right there! This is a top-secret elevator for only Mr. Monotoli’s use!

Ness: ...Can we use it?

Security Guard: Yeah, sure, whatever. (walks off)

Elevator Lady #2: (as Ness, Jeff, and Exit Mouse pile into the elevator) Ah, Ness! Electra told me to let you through! I’ll take you to the 48^th floor, come alone.

Jeff: Can me and Exit Mouse come too?

Elevator Lady #2: Whatever, just stop staring at my hips! (starts the elevator)

Ness: (as they get off the elevator on the 48^th floor) Thanks for your help!

Elevator Lady #2: (smacks him) You’re welcome, and stop staring at my hips!

Ness: Ow, this is a painful place...

Jeff: (walks through a door) Well, we’re not far off now!

Sentry Robot: Secret code, please. Say the code in 10 seconds. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4...

Ness: (bashes the sentry robot)

Jeff: (blasts the sentry robot)

Sentry Robot: Drat. (explodes)

Exit Mouse: That was pretty easy.

Sentry Robot: (another one shows up) Say the secret code in 10 9 8...

Ness: (bashes it)

Jeff: (shoots it)

Sentry Robot: I’ll take that as a no. (blasts Jeff with a bottle rocket)

Jeff: OUCH!

Ness: (hits Jeff with PSI Lifeup B)

Sentry Robot: (blasts Ness with a beam)

Ness: Grrr. (bashes the robot again)

Jeff: (blows it apart with his hyper beam)

Ness: Come on. (leads them into another room)

Jeff: Ooh, a vital capsule! (pockets it)

Exit Mouse: We better give it to Paula, or else she’ll hurt us.

Ness: (dives into the next room and smacks the head off of a sentry robot) I think we’re almost there!

Electra: (walks out of her room) Hi guys. You’re almost to Mr. Monotoli!

Jeff: Wow, Ness was right.

(they head into the next room)

Clumsy Robot: Ping! Clankety clankety...squeak, CLANK!

Exit Mouse: (eating some plain yogurt from somewhere) Hmm, that Clumsy Robot blocks the way!

Ness: What the heck is this thing? (bashes the clumsy robot)

Clumsy Robot: (stumbles backwards and fires a missile)

Jeff: AH! (ducks as the missile takes out the wall behind him)

Electra: Ooh! A fight!

Exit Mouse: Got anymore yogurt?

Electra: Uh, the yogurt machine was horribly destroyed...

Exit Mouse: WHAT!? (leaps at the Clumsy Robot) KILL!!!!

Clumsy Robot: (fires a beam at Jeff)

Jeff: (deflects it with his hyper beam) Ha!

Exit Mouse: (punches the clumsy robot in the face)

Clumsy Robot: (shoots out a bologna sandwich and falls backwards)

Exit Mouse: Ooh, a sandwich! (eats it)

Ness: (knocks the robot over to the wall)

Clumsy Robot: (cleans the area)

Runaway Five Bus: (suddenly comes smashing through the wall and smashes the Clumsy Robot)

Jeff: Ooh, cool!

Lucky: (dives out and flips a switch on the destroyed Clumsy Robot) HA! It was so easy to beat!

Gojasu: Come on, guys, go rescue Paula!

Ness, Jeff, and Exit Mouse: (dive into the next room)

Monotoli: I give up! (dives behind...PAULA!!!!)

Paula: Ness, Jeff, Exit...I knew you would save me. You people are lost without me. (laughs insanely)

Ness: Uh, yeah, sure, right.

Jeff: Must be it.

Exit Mouse: How’d you get here, anyway?

Paula: Eh, weird story. I think Mani Mani was involved.

Exit Mouse: And YOGURT!

Jeff: And Monkeys!

Ness: And evil parallel dimensions!

Paula: Uh huh. By the way, Mr. Monotoli isn’t really evil. He just uses evil for evil goals, he’s not evil.

Mr. Monotoli: So weak am I, after losing Mani Mani. I didn’t hurt Paula, she’s a nice girl.

Paula: Yeah, you and that stupid statue tried to throw me in a prison cell but I blasted ole’ Mani Mani and it flew off.

Ness: Yeah, we killed the Mani Mani Statue. It did stuff.

Exit Mouse: WE? I was the one with the bomb, you know!

Mr. Monotoli: That statue gave me visions, EVIL ones! It said stuff like "Don’t let them go to Summers," and other helpful information.

Jeff: Cool, we should go to Summers.

Mr. Monotoli: Yes, you should do what the Mani Mani told me to stop you from doing!

Jeff: Yeah, that too. I was just saying, we should go to Summers.

Mr. Monotoli: I would let you use my helicopter, but it’s broken. (takes them out to the helipad) See? It’s a piece of junk!

Helicopter: (lifts off and hovers in the air)

Jeff: Pretty good for a piece of junk...

Mr. Monotoli: Ok, it’s almost a piece of junk.

Pokey: (squeezes his head out the helicopter’s window) Ness, you pinheaded idiot, you’re just a half step too slow!

Ness: What do you want this time, Pokey?

Pokey: Nothing at all. Now that Monotoli is just a plain old man again, I have no use for him. This helicopter will really come in handy. I’ll see you losers later! (begins to fly off)

Paula: (blasts the helicopter with a burst of PSI Fire Beta) No, you won’t.

Helicopter: (bursts into flames and goes spiraling off over the horizon)

Ness: Really, Paula, we’re the good guys, remember?

Paula: Eh, he really annoys me.

Jeff: (as they head back inside) How do you suppose we get to Summers?

Mr. Monotoli: Pokey took the helicopter, I hope he’s okay.

Ness: (muttering) For being on fire, that is...

Paula: (suddenly smacks Ness and Jeff in the face) I KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!

Ness and Jeff: OW (comically fall over in shock)

Paula: To get to Summers we have to go back to Threed! I know it!

Gojasu: (as the Runaway Five pack back onto their bus lodged in the building) You guys need to get to Threed as soon as possible? We’ll take you there in our tour bus!

Ness, Paula, Jeff, and Exit Mouse: COOL! (dive on the bus)

Runaway Five Bus: (hovers down to the ground outside the building and drives off back to Threed.)

Ness: (as they hop off the bus in Threed) That was a pretty long bus ride.

Jeff: (yawning) Seemed like only a second or two to me.

Paula: (waving to the Runaway Five) Bye guys!

Runaway Five: Bye Paula!

Ness, Jeff, and Exit: Bye guys!

Runaway Five: Yeah, whatever... (drive off)

Paula: Okay...now what?

Ness: You’re the one who made us come here, you tell us!

Exit Mouse: Perhaps we need to fix the Sky Runner and use it to go to Summers.

Jeff: But I can’t fix the Sky Runner!

Ness: (as they head for the graveyard) Maybe we’ll be lucky and some other guys will have fixed it for some reason.

Jeff: (as they enter the underground cell) That’s dumb, who the heck would fix the Sky Runner?

Guy: (standing in front of a spiffy looking Skyrunner) We painted over the damaged parts.

Jeff: Cool! They fixed it! Let’s take it!

Paula: Didn’t they say they only repainted it?

Jeff: (as he dives aboard) Come on, Paula! It’s time to drive this sucker back to Dr. Andonut’s lab!

Ness: FLYING SAUCER! (hops onboard)

Exit Mouse: Whatever, (jumps onboard)

Paula: (sighs and follows)

Jeff: The Skyrunner’ll take us back to Winters. There, with Dr. Andonut’s help, I can modify it to fly us to Summers!

Ness: You can’t fly us there yourself?

Jeff: You think I can fly this thing?

Paula: Why isn’t everything blinking like I assume it should?

Jeff: (checking over the controls) There’s a small problem, but it’s not too hard to fix. (smacks the console and the lights go on) There.

Exit Mouse: I wanna get off!

Jeff; TOO LATE! (laughs maniacally as the Skyrunner lifts off and flies away)

Guy #2: Oh no! The door looks locked, we must be locked inside this underground cell thingy!

Guy: AH! And I left my sandwich on the Skyrunner when we were painting it!

Ness: (eating a sandwich) Yum.

Paula: Ness, where’d you get that sandwich?

Ness: I found it!

Paula: Is it a skip sandwich?

Ness: (running around the walls of the Skyrunner) Why do you ask?

Jeff: Okay, we’re there! (drops the Skyrunner into Dr. Andonut’s Lab)

Exit Mouse: (as they walk out of the Skyrunner) I’m surprised it didn’t explode!

Jeff: Rubber floor. My dad’s really paranoid about falling things that explode.

Bubble Monkey: GO TO THE CAVE NORTH OF STONEHENGE!!!!!

Jeff: Hi, Bubble Monkey.

Bubble Monkey: Why hello, Jeff. (walks off)

Dr. Andonuts: Oh, you must be Ness, and Paula, the ones Jeff mentioned.

Ness: Pleased to meet you, sir.

Paula: I agree.

Jeff: Yeah, hi Dr. Andonuts.

Dr. Andonuts: Jeff is a good boy, but he wets the bed sometimes. Has he wet it yet during your adventure?

Jeff: (groans) Aw geeze...

Ness: Uh, no?

Paula: (coughs)

Dr. Andonuts: Bubble Monkey mentioned a cave North of Stonehenge, maybe you should check it out while I remodel the Skyrunner. It’s a place called Rainy Circle. Stuff happens there.

Jeff: (shoving Ness, Exit, and Paula out of the lab) Sure thing, see ya later!

Ness: (as they head for Stonehenge) Hey, I think a sanctuary is nearby!

Paula: Why do you think that?

Ness: (pulls the wildly vibrating Sound Stone out of his backpack) Just a guess, I suppose.

Jeff: Maybe it can lead us to this sanctuary, just like the last one.

Exit Mouse: What do you mean lead us? It flew off in the first 10 seconds!

Ness: Let’s hope it works this time too! (drops the Sound Stone on the ground) Go find the Sanctuary!

Sound Stone: (shoots off into the air, hits a cave boy in the face, then drops back to the ground, stunned)

Cave Boy: ...ungh? (dies)

Ness: Good try, Sound Stone (puts it back in his backpack)

Exit Mouse: (as they enter the cave) Looks like we’ll have to find him the old-fashioned way.

Shrooom!: (stares at them blankly)

Paula: Hm, that was fast.

Jeff: (as they walk over) Hiya, Shrooom!

Shrooom!: Hello, Jeff.

Ness: You know this thing?

Jeff: (shrugs) I meet who I can.

Shrooom!: This is the fourth "Your Sanctuary" but...NO.

Paula: (creates a flame of PSI Fire in her hand) Wanna see me toast this mushroom?

Jeff: (draws his double beam) Only after I tenderize it!

Ness: (sighs) You guys have such stupid action phrases. (bashes Shrooom with his bat) We should just KILL IT!!!

Shrooom!: (sprays out a blast of mushroomizing spores on Ness, Jeff, and Paula)

Ness: Not again!

Paula: Oh great...

Jeff: What’s going on?

Exit Mouse: (as the others are mushroomized) Oh no! I’ve got to do something!

Shrooom!: (ties Ness’ and Paula’s mushrooms together in a knot) HEE HEE HEE!

Paula: (punches Ness) This is all YOUR fault!

Ness: (shoves her) Get offa my mushroom!

Jeff: (walking into the wall repeatedly) Mush...room...mush...room...

Exit Mouse: (pulls his bag of cool stuff from the monkey cave out) Time to die, Shrooom!

Shrooom!: (faces off with Exit Mouse) Ha ha ha! You can’t defeat me, mouse!

Exit Mouse: (as he sprinkles the powder from the bag of cool stuff on himself) Too bad I’m not just a mouse, and I’m packin’ Dragonite heat!!

Shrooom!: (whimpers in disbelief as Exit Mouse transforms into a towering dragon)

Ness: Wow, cool!

Paula: What the heck?

Jeff: Mush...room?

Exit Dragon: BWA HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! (disintegrates Shrooom! with a blast of fire breath)

Shrooom!: You cheated! ARGGH!

Exit Dragon: (hurls Ness and Co into the Rainy Circle before transforming back into Exit Mouse again)

Ness and Co: (healed)

Ness: (pulls out the Sound Stone) I’ve recorded the melody of the Rainy Circle!

Paula and Jeff: Yay.

Exit Mouse: BOO YEAH! Who saved the day this time?

Ness and Jeff: (sadly) You...

Paula: Doesn’t he always save the day sooner or later?

Ness and Jeff: Meh.

Dr. Andonuts: (back at the lab thingy) The Skyrunner remodeling is finished, you can leave for Summers now.

Ness and Co: WOO HOO! (jump on the Skyrunner)

Dr. Andonuts: (Runs over and dives for the Skyrunner as they fly off) Oops, I should have told them about the exploding button…they shouldn’t press it.

Bubble Monkey: Gee Mr. Andonuts!

Dr. Andonuts: Quiet you!

Skyrunner: (flies off over the horizon, to Summers!)

Ness: What’s this button do?

Jeff: Never seen it before.

Paula: OOH! I wanna press it! (presses the button)