Paula: All that work for NOTHING!

Jeff: Bah, we didn’t even get any food out of it, I want another double burger!

Ness: Don’t worry, guys. The satisfaction of helping others is reward enough for me!

Paula and Jeff: ...you’re joking.

Ness: Yeah, I am. Dang those cheap miners!

Exit Mouse: (examining a large diamond) How much do you think this is worth, guys?

Paula: EXIT! Where’d you get that!?

Exit Mouse: I swiped it from the mole tunnel before we left.

Jeff: We’re rich!!!!

Digger: (drives up)

George Montague: (hops out) Greetings, Ness!

Exit Mouse: (quickly hides the diamond behind his back)

Ness: Uh, hello again.

George Montague: Remember me? I’m George Montague, Gerardo Montague’s brother!

Paula: (smiling sweetly) We remember you, Mr. George!

Jeff: (whistling) We didn’t know the old Miner’s name was Gerardo, though.

Exit Mouse: (looking innocent) Yeah, we must’a forgot to ask, huh?

Jeff: (nodding) Yeah, guess so.

George Montague: Uh, yeah...anywho, Gerardo hasn’t found any gold yet, but we did find a diamond! (whips a diamond out of his pocket)

Ness, Paula, and Jeff: Ooooohhhhh!!!

Exit Mouse: (drooling) Diamond!

George Montague: Gerardo told me to give it to you, Ness.

Ness: That’s ok, George, we already have a diamond! (pulls the diamond out from behind Exit’s back)

Exit Mouse: NESS, YOU FOOL!!!!!

George Montague: Ok, if you don’t need it, I’ll take it back to the mind. BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!!! (drives off)

Ness: Well, we better get this diamond to the Runaway Five for their contract.

Exit Mouse: Ness, we could’ve used that diamond to give to the Runaway Five, and kept the other!!!

Paula: You really screwed up this time, Ness.

Ness: Oh well, let’s get to the theater!

Exit Mouse: Not with MY diamond, you aren’t!!! (tackles Ness)

Ness: OW! (bashes Exit) getoff!

Paula: (shrugs and jumps into the fight)

Jeff: (blasts them with the Slime generator) Cool down, guys!

Paula: (wiping goo off of her hair) You are SO dead, Jeff!

Ness: (stuck to Exit Mouse) I said, get off!

Exit Mouse: Get off!? I’m stuck to the side of your head!

Photographer Guy: (spirals down) Good action shot! FUZZY PICKLES! <click>

Ness: (pulls Exit Mouse off of his head) That was one messed up photo!

Photographer Guy: (laughs maniacally and flies off)

Paula: Ok, no more killing each other. We just get to Fourside, help the Runaway Five out of their jam, then do something else. Kay-o?

Ness and Exit Mouse: Agreed.

Jeff: What happened to "kill Jeff?"

Paula: I’m hungry, kill Jeff after lunch, ok?

(back in Fourside. How they got there? We don’t really know)

Ness: (as they step out of the Topolla Theater) That was a great show!

Exit Mouse: Yeah, it ONLY cost us a million bucks. (grumble)

Jeff: No, the ticket was $30. You mean a million and $30!

Paula: Who cares? We got to see the Runaway Five!

Ness: And Venus...she sucked.

Jeff: Hopefully, we’ll never have to hear her sing, (shudder)

Exit Mouse: I doubt it.

Runaway Five Bus: (suddenly comes bursting through the wall of the Topolla Theater)

Gojasu: (leans out) Hey, guys! Thanks again for everything!

Paula: You’re welcome!

Gojasu: (as the bus speeds off) We’ll be in the neighborhood!

Guy: (comes running by) DEPARTMENT STORE IS NOW OPEN!!!!!!! AIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Ness: Yay! Let’s go check it out. (they run to the Department Store)

Jeff: (comes out of a back room with his arms full of bottle rockets) I’m good!

Ness: Nice bat, do you think I can buy a ball to play with it?

Store Guy: What kind of a store do you think this is? A ball store? WHA HAHA!!

Ness: ...well this IS a sporting good store.

Store Guy: Look, unless you’re gonna buy a yo-yo to go with that bat, go away.

Paula: (Tosses Ness’ ATM card back to him) Thanks for letting me use your card, Ness!

Ness: Hey, I didn’t let you use my...what did you buy?

Paula: Just a fry pan, sheesh.

Ness: That’s not bad, sorry I got mad.

Jeff: (peeking from behind his pile of bottle rockets) Hey, Paula, can I see your new $2000 fry pan?

Ness: $2000!!!!!

Paula: If you weren’t holding explosives right now, Jeff, I would so kill you.

Jeff: What, did you think these were just for enemies?

Ness: Oh well, I’ll just have to tell my dad we killed another boss or something, he pays well for big monsters. We better leave the store anyway, come on, Exit!

Exit Mouse: (rocking back and forth, clutching a teddy bear) I sense EVIL!!!!

Ness: (as they head for the door) Don’t be silly, Exit, what evil is around here?

Jeff: (mumbling) besides the rat in the sewers, you mean.

Ness: What you say?

Jeff: Nothing, nothing.

Paula: (looking around) No, I feel it too. Something’s wrong here, Ness.

Ness and Jeff: (stop) Like what?

Paula: Well think about it. I’m the only female member of this team. As the only female member, sooner or later I’m gonna get kidnapped, always happens in an RPG sooner or later.

Jeff: Don’t worry Paula, you have me, Ness, and Exit around too!

Ness: Not to mention this isn’t a video game.

Exit Mouse: (coughs)

Ness and Jeff: (strike a dramatic pose) You have nothing to fear with us around!

Paula: Oh, I feel SO safe.

(suddenly, the lights go out)

Dept. Store Spook: (runs out of the shadows, socks Ness and Jeff in the stomach with its tentacles, grabs Paula, and runs off into the darkness with her)

Paula: (as she disappears into the darkness) I told you sooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ness: Ow, that REALLY hurt.

Jeff: Uh, I think one of my bottle rockets is about to go off...

Exit Mouse: (creeps out from under his teddy bear) Well don’t just roll there in pain, let’s go after her!

Ness: Do we have to?

Intercom: Your attention please, would the customer from Onett, Mr. Ness, please proceed to the office on the fourth floor. That was customer Ness, 4^th floor office…Gwaaaaaaaaagh!

Jeff: I think we have to, the intercom told us to!

Ness: Well that settles it then.

Exit Mouse: (holding the teddy bear) I don’t like the sound of that Gwaaaaaaaaagh!

Ness: (as they reach the second floor) It’s only darkness, Exit. It can’t hurt us.

Mystical Record: (charges out of the shadows and smacks Ness)

Jeff: You were saying?

Ness: To be fair, that had nothing to do with darkness.

Mystical Record: (charges into Jeff)

Jeff: Ouch! These records hurt.

Exit Mouse: They have obviously been angered by the decline of record sales!

Ness: (smacks the Mystical Record)

Jeff: (blasts it with his new Hyper Beam he got from somewhere)

Mystical Record: (explodes)

Intercom: (as they reach the third floor) Ness, come on, hurry to Paula! Gwaaaaaaaaagh!

Ness: Hey, if they want to kidnap her, they gotta deal with her anger too!

Intercom: Hey, no one said she had psychic powers!! (static)

Jeff: (looks at Ness and shrugs)

Musica: (attacks as they reach the fourth floor and shoots and electrical shock attack at Ness)

Ness: (deflects the lightning back at the musica, destroying it)

Exit Mouse: The Franklin Badge deflected the lightning!

Ness: Stop saying that, Exit, you’re freaking me out.

Jeff: What’s with all these musical enemies?

Scalding Coffee: (hops out of the shadows and spills some scalding hot espresso onto the teddy bear)

Teddy Bear: Argh!!!!!! (melts away into a pool of molten brown fuzz)

Exit Mouse: (whimpers) My teddy...

Ness: Looks like you got yer wish, Jeffy-boy.

Jeff: Jeffy-boy?

Ness: (smacks his bat into the coffee cup)

Scalding Coffee: (spills some scalding hot espresso onto the floor around it)

Ness: (looks at the coffee cup as the floor melts away beneath it and it falls away) Wha?

Jeff: If only ALL our battles ended like that, it’d be cool!

Exit Mouse: (cough)ChronoTrigger(cough)

Jeff: What?

Intercom: Gargh, GWARGH! (static)

Ness: Eh, we better hurry. (they rush into the office)

Dept. Store Spook: Gwaaagh, Gwarrrgh!

Ness: (draws his bat) Exactly.

Dept. Store Spook: You finally made it. This department store is gonna be your grave! GWAAAGH! You’ll be gone, and you’ll be burning in…

Jeff: (blasts the Dept. Store Spook with a big bottle rocket)

Dept. Store Spook: GWARRRGH! You’ll go to heaven! (is disintegrated)

Ness: Well, you sure killed him, Jeff.

Jeff: Didn’t I though?

Ness: Of course now we have no idea where to find Paula since she isn’t here.

Jeff: Obviously, someone else must be in on this kidnapping

Ness: But who in the right mind would kidnap Paula? They’re probably dead by now!

Exit Mouse: Hm, insane guy, evil power over monsters and/or large amounts of money to pay them off with. It’s probably Mr. Montoli.

Ness: You mean the guy with the big skyscraper? Should we go attack him?

Exit Mouse: No, no. He’d be expecting that. Instead, we’re gonna go to Jacki’s Café and find info on him.

Jeff: Makes sense.

Ness: (as they leave the Dept. Store) Hey, where’d all the people go when the lights went out?

Exit Mouse: Probably hiding, that’s why there were no casualties.

Jeff: Except for that guy who was crushed by a falling coffee cup.

Ness: Except him, yeah.

Exit Mouse: (as they reach the café) Here we are, the best rumor mill in town!

Jeff: How would YOU know?

Ness: And why is a sign with the word "bar" on it in Japanese under the café sign?

Exit Mouse: Shutup! Don’t ask stupid questions, Ness!

Jeff: (as they head inside) I didn’t know you could read Japanese, Ness!

Ness: I’d tap dance too, if it would annoy Exit.

Exit Mouse: (hops on the bar counter) Hey, has Geldegarde Montoli ever been in here?

Coffeetender: What? That could never happen! Well, actually that’s not true.

Exit Mouse: Er, okay.

Ness: (looking at the espresso he ordered) Hey, Exit? Why is all the coffee here yellowish looking?

Jeff: (looking at his espresso too) Yeah, is it a special city blend?

Exit Mouse: (sighing) You guys are really ignorant sometimes. (shoves them outside) No espresso from THIS café!

Ness: Hey, what’s that crowd of people doing? (they walk over)

Scruffy Guy: Hey, if you give me something I’ll let you take my place!

Ness and Jeff: Here. (hand the guy their espressos)

Everdred: (when Ness, Jeff and Exit walk over) Aren’t you Ness?

Ness: Hiya, Everdred, what’s up?

Everdred: It’s me, Everdred, from Burglin Park in Twoson.

Ness: Yeah, I remember.

Everdred: You must remember! I’m the best thief around!

Ness: I got it already, I remember!

Everdred: Carpainter was hiding something in Happy Happy Village.

Ness: Yeah, evil Mani Mani Statue.

Everdred: I was gonna sell it to Montoli, but he tricked me and stole it! From ME, a thief! He gets his evil power from that statue!!

Jeff: Evil power?

Everdred: Quiet you! I’ll tell you only once. Check...behind...the...counter...in...the...café...

Ness: Farewell, Everdred!

Everdred: (jumps off and walks off) Haiku!

Exit Mouse: See ya, Everdred.

Everdred: Bye, Exit!

Ness: We better check back inside. (they head back into the café)

(they head around behind the counter)

Ness: Here goes nothing!

Jeff: What do we think is gonna happen, anyway?

Exit Mouse: Possibly...THIS! (they push the panel of the wall and disappear in a flash of light)

to be continued...