Tony: (also wakes up) What are you talking about, Jeff?

Jeff: (hops out of his bed) I have to head south, some people need me!

Tony: You know dorm rules, you can’t go out at this time of night! If you get caught, you’ll be punished big time!

Jeff: What’re you talking about? It’s 7:30! I don’t know why we were asleep in the first place.

Tony: Okay, but it’s dangerous to go out unequipped. You can equip me! Maybe we can steal some stuff from the locker room!

Jeff: That’s the spirit! Off we go! (they head outside and into the next dorm)

Classmate: Hey, Tony! I hand-wrapped all the cookies for your birthday party tomorrow!

Jeff and Tony: (grab all the cookies and rip the wrapping off of them)

Jeff: Thanks, we can use these!

Tony: Bye guys! (they run out the door)

Classmate: Jerks.

(they run downstairs and into the locker room)

Jeff: (tries the lockers) Dang, they’re locked! Where is the trust nowadays?

Tony: Maxwell can help us! He can usually break anything! (they head next door to Maxwell’s lab)

Maxwell: Hi, guys, I’m having some trouble with my project. Too bad your father, Dr. Andonuts isn’t here, Jeff.

Jeff: Good idea, Maxwell, I’ll go see my dad! He can help me get south!

Maxwell: What?

Jeff: Huh?

Tony: Actually, we need the locker keys.

Maxwell: Why?

Jeff: Why what?

Tony: What?

Maxwell: Huh?

(about an hour later)

Maxwell: So you need to leave?

Tony: No!

Jeff: Yes!

Tony: Oh yeah.

Maxwell: And you need a key to break into the lockers?

Jeff and Tony: (Nod their heads)

Maxwell: (pulls a key out of his pocket) This should do it!

Jeff: Thanks!

Maxwell: (bends the key) There we go!

Tony: YOU FOOL!

Maxwell: (pulls a small machine off the table, and jams the bent key into it) There ya go! I call this the Bad Key Machine. It can open any door, if you have a slightly bent key!

Jeff: Couldn’t we have just used the key, unbent?

Maxwell: Are you talking bad about my Bad Key Machine?

Jeff: (takes the machine) No, it’s great! (takes Tony out of the room)

Jeff: (in the locker room, presses the button on the bad key machine, opening all the lockers) It worked! (they steal all the stuff and head outside)

Tony: (kneels on the ground next to the gate) Okay, Jeff, use me to climb over!

Jeff: Thanks for all your help, Tony (jumps on his back)

Tony: I don’t know where you’re going, or why, but we’ll always be friends, Jeff.

Jeff: What do you mean? You know exactly where I’m going, South!

Tony: Oh yeah...

Jeff: (tries to scramble over the gate, but slides back down)

Tony: Oof! Try again!

Jeff: (scrambles up, but slides back down onto Tony)

Tony: Ouch! (knocked to the ground)

Jeff: To heck with this, (opens the gate lock with the bad key machine) Why didn’t we do that in the first place? (runs out the gate)

Tony: (still on the ground) Bye, Jeff! (alarms go off) Ah! They’ve got us! (runs back into the school as rabid dogs come running out of the shadows)

Jeff: AHHHHHH!!!! (runs past the store)

Bubble Monkey: (goes flying out of the store through the window and smacks into Jeff)

Store Owner: (comes running out with a shotgun) I’ll get you!

Jeff: (grabs Bubble Monkey and runs off down the path)

Store Owner: (fires a shot after them) Get back here and die!

Bubble Monkey: (being carried by Jeff) Nice to meet you, stranger, I’m Bubble Monkey!

Jeff: (still running) Hiya, I’m Jeff. What the heck did you do to anger that store guy?

Bubble Monkey: (tears up) It’s not MY fault! All I did was steal this pak of bubble gum! He had no reason to flip out like that. (holds up a pak of bubble gum)

Jeff: (shrugs) Well, if food is involved, I can’t blame you. I know, you can come with me! I’m off on an adventure to head south! It’s probably best if you left the country anyways.

Bubble Monkey: If you’re heading south, then you’ll NEED me to come along. Ph33r my l33t south-heading skillz!

Jeff: (skids to a halt in front of a tent) Hey, I wonder what this tent is doing here.

Bubble Monkey: (jumps down from his arms) Let’s find out, Jeffy-boy!

Jeff: Jeffy-boy?

Runaway Dog: (steps out of the tent)

Jeff: AH! Wild dog! (blasts the dog with his pop gun)

Two guys: (come running out of the tent) What? Why did you kill our dog? (advance on Jeff and Bubble Monkey) You’re gonna pay for that!

Jeff and Bubble Monkey: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (run off in the opposite direction.)

Guy #1: Hey, we must be pretty intimidating.

Guy #2: Let’s chase ‘em down.

Gruff Goat: (charges in and rams and tramples both of them)

Two guys: (horribly mashed)

Jeff: (looking back at the Gruff Goat who is now charging THEM) Oh great, did we kill those people too?

Bubble Monkey: They saw us flee in terror, if they want a bigger hint than that, then too bad.

Gruff Goat: (rams into Bubble Monkey)

Bubble Monkey: (slammed into a tree) Gah! Help!

Jeff: (fires a few blasts at the Gruff Goat)

Gruff Goat: (ticked off now) ROAR!!! (tramples Jeff)

Bubble Monkey: (pulls some gum out of its pocket and starts chewing it)

Jeff: (being trampled) OUCH!

Bubble Monkey: (blows a bubble)

Jeff: (still being trampled) OW!

Bubble Monkey: (makes the bubble bigger)

Jeff: (trampled some more) ARGGH!

Bubble Monkey: Done! (flies forward with the bubble and body slams the gruff goat, popping his bubble)

Gruff Goat: (now covered in bubble gum)

Bubble Monkey: (grabs Jeff and drags him down to the collection of tents along Lake Tess.)

(The next morning)

Jeff: (wakes up) Ohh, what happened?

Bubble Monkey: (sipping some stew) You were rammed, and trampled, then rammed again. It’s morning now, I got some of these Tessie Watchers to heal your wounds with STEW!. (leads Jeff outside)

Jeff: Wow, behold the power of stew.

Camera Guy: (flies down from the sky and takes a picture of Jeff and Bubble Monkey) MUA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (flies off)

Jeff: Uh, Bubble Monkey?

Bubble Monkey: (shrugs) Must be a fan, or something.

Tessie Watchers: (run over to Jeff and Bubble Monkey) Okay, monkey, pay up! You said you could get Tessie to appear if we gave you and your friend a bunch of free food!

Bubble Monkey: Indeed I did, mortal! Watch me in action! (blows a bubble and floats out over the water)

Tessie: (her head rises from beneath the waves for Bubble Monkey to land on. Slowly, she floats to shore)

Bubble Monkey: Come on, Jeff, hop aboard!

Jeff: (hops aboard) This is sooooooo, cool!

Tessie: (Slowly floats to the south side of Lake Tess and lets Jeff and Bubble Monkey off)

Bubble Monkey: Thanks, Tessie, now you can collect my side of the bargain, I got all those stupid Tessie watchers together so you could eat them!

Tessie: (smiles evilly and floats back to the north end of Lake Tess)

Jeff: (as they continue southward) Can you go anywhere without a bunch of people getting hurt?

Bubble Monkey: (kicks Jeff) Yes I can, fool!

Jeff: Hey, a cave. (reads a billboard next to the cave entrance) This dungeon has no entrance fee, come on in!

Bubble Monkey: Sounds fun! (they enter)

Jeff: (picks up a present on the ground) Cool, stuff just lying around! (opens it)

Worthless Protoplasm: (pops out of the present and smacks Jeff)

Jeff: (rubs his face) That hurt, jelly, uh, thingy! (blasts the protoplasm with his pop gun)

Rowdy Mouse: (Charges at Jeff and hurls a present into Bubble Monkey’s face)

Jeff: (blasts the protoplasm as it tries to run) There’s, too, many, of, them!

Rowdy Mouse: (socks Jeff in the stomach)

Bubble Monkey: (pulls a bread roll out of the present box and bashes the rowdy mouse with it)

Jeff: (blasts another rowdy mouse) We’ve gotta keep moving!

Bubble Monkey: (flies over the maze with a bubble) See ya at the finish line, Jeffy-boy!

Jeff: (looks back at the hoard of present boxes moving towards him) Jerk. (runs after Bubble Monkey)

Mad duck: (fires a top out of its mouth that spins around Jeff)

Jeff: (Shoots the mad duck)

Mad duck: (tries again)

Jeff: (shoots him again)

Mad duck: (shoots a top out of its mouth that hits Jeff in the face)

Jeff: (punches the duck in the face) Why won’t you die?

Mad duck: (dies)

Jeff: That’s better.

Camera Guy: (suddenly flies down from the sky, crashing into Bubble Monkey)

Bubble Monkey: AHHHHHHHH (they crash to the ground in front of Jeff)

Camera Guy: (takes a picture of Jeff and Bubble Monkey then flies back off) MUA HAHAHAHA

Jeff: That guy is really starting to get creepy.

Bubble Monkey: (hiccuping) I think I swallowed my gum!

Jeff: (sees a present box up lying nearby) Another enemy! (jumps on top of the box repeatedly) DIE, monster, DIE!

Bubble Monkey: Maybe it’s a real present.

Jeff: (checks inside the box) Hey it’s an iron! Uh, I think its broken. (puts the broken pieces of the iron in his pocket)

Bubble Monkey: I wonder why?

Jeff: (kicks another worthless protoplasm out of the way) Hey, I just found a cool stun gun! (points it at Bubble Monkey)

Bubble Monkey: (dives for cover as Jeff blasts the Mad duck behind him) You’re just lucky Winters has no gun control laws!

Jeff: (blasts another Rowdy Mouse) Okay, I’m bored, let’s go. (they exit the cave)

Brickroad: (standing outside the cave)

Jeff: Uh, hello?

Brickroad: (holds up a sign) ::Hello, I’m Brickroad ...Brickroad::

Bubble Monkey: Was that your dungeon?

Brickroad: (holds up another sign) ::Yes, I’m a dungeon developer. I’ve devoted my life to making dungeons ...Brickroad::

Jeff: Oh, it was pretty good, for a dungeon.

Brickroad: (holds up another sign) ::Soon I will become Dungeon Man, the first combination of human and dungeon in history. Let’s meet again after I’ve become Dungeon Man ...Brickroad::

Jeff and Bubble Monkey: (walk off) Ok, see ya around, bye!

(They come to another cave)

Jeff: What is with this stupid country? There’s like a million caves!

Bubble Monkey: (leads the way inside) I smell food!

Jeff: (blasts the small animals walking around the cave) For a stun gun, this thing sure kills well!

Bubble Monkey: (finds a hamburger in a gift box and starts eating it) I was right!

Rowdy Mouse: (steals his hamburger and runs into the next cave)

Bubble Monkey: (his eyes glow red) GWARGH!!!!!!!! (flies after the mouse)

Jeff: I think I’ll wait this one out.

(after a few minutes, an explosion comes from the next cave)

Bubble Monkey: (comes out of the cave) I got my hamburger back, I also found this for you! (tosses Jeff a cheap bracelet) I found some bottle rockets too, but (looks back at the cave) I used them already.

Jeff: (reads the bracelet’s inscription) "Cheap bracelet" Thanks, Bubble Monkey. (they go into the next cave)

Bubble Monkey: (steps around the numerous rocks knocked down by the explosion) There’s some ropes over here for you to climb up on! (flies up the cliff wall)

Jeff: (climbs up the cliff to meet Bubble Monkey) Hey, Bubble, what’s—

Bubble Monkey: (stops Jeff and points to the giant mushroom watching them) Look!

Shrooom: (watches them intently)

Jeff: (backs away from Shrooom, pushing Bubble Monkey behind him and out of the cave)

Shrooom: (follows them with his eyes)

Bubble Monkey: (sees a female monkey) Forget you Jeff! (runs after the female monkey)

Female Monkey: (punches Bubble Monkey) Get lost!

Bubble Monkey: You’re already showering me with kindness!

Female Monkey: (punches him again and again) I said, GET LOST!

Bubble Monkey: You have a strange way of showing affection.

Female Monkey: Ahhhhhhh! (runs)

Bubble Monkey: Ooh, are we playing a game now? (runs after her)

Jeff: Go get ‘em, Bubble. (walks through Stonehenge)

Cave Boy: (steps out from behind one of the stones) GARGH!

Jeff: (blasts him)

Cave Boy: (angry) GARGHWARGH! (smashes his club into the ground)

Jeff: (pulls a small scabbard out of his coat) I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but I have no choice! (draws the mythical Super Smackdown Ruler from its sheath) YA! (slashes forward with the Super Smackdown Ruler, cleaving the Cave Boy in half. Jeff kneels to the ground and places the ruler back in its scabbard) You have helped me once again, ruler. (continues on to Dr. Andonuts lab)

Dr. Andonuts: (as Jeff comes into the lab) Did Brickroad refer you?

Jeff: Uh, into what, Dad?

Dr. Andonuts: Into who? What? You’re my son!?

Jeff: Uh, yeah, did you forget again?

Dr. Andonuts: Why, it’s been 10 years since I last saw you!

Jeff: (patiently) No, it’s been about a week since you came by the boarding school for my science fair exhibit.

Dr. Andonuts: Are you sure?

Jeff: Yeah, I think so.

Dr. Andonuts: Did I ever tell you, you look good in glasses?

Jeff: Yeah, every single time we meet.

Dr. Andonuts: Want a donut?

Jeff: What?

Dr. Andonuts: At least I offered...

Jeff: Uh, okay?

Dr. Andonuts: Why are you here?

Jeff: Well, I’m trying to head south so I can find a girl named Paula who telepathically contacted me for help in rescuing her and her friends.

Dr. Andonuts: I can help you, with my Phase Distortor! It can connect two points in time and space and warp someone between them!

Jeff: Cool!

Dr. Andonuts: It’s not complete, but you can use the Sky Runner. And remember to listen for the message that comes from your destination. You’ll get there for sure if you listen to the message.

Jeff: (confused) What message are you talking about?

Dr. Andonuts: The one coming from your destination.

Jeff: I don’t think there is any message.

Dr. Andonuts: (Shoves him into the Sky Runner, a spaceship looking thingy and closes the hatch) Well then, good luck!

Jeff: (from inside the Sky Runner) Why isn’t it moving?

Dr. Andonuts: Try pressing the button on the control panel!

Sky Runner: (backs into the wall)

Jeff: (from inside) Did I lift off yet?

Dr. Andonuts: Uh, try moving the stick forward.

Sky Runner: (lifts off the ground and breaks through the roof of the lab)

Jeff: (looking out the window) I did it!

Dr. Andonuts: Hm, this lab needs cleaning.

Sky Runner: (flies off southward)