(a few hours later)

Mouse: (poking Ness with a stick) You look like you need to wake up!

Ness: (groans) That 20^th piece sure wasn’t a good idea (sits up)

Mouse: You’ve been mushroomized! We need to get you to a doctor right away!

Ness: (groggily gets up) I seem to be dizzy, weak, confused, weak, dizzy, weak, confused, dizzy, and…confused…

Mouse: (takes Ness’ hand) I’ll help you get to the hospital in Twoson

Ness: Thank you, talking rock.

(they arrive at the hospital in Twoson and head for the creepy purple-wearing guy in the corner)

Healer guy: Wow! You have a mushroom growing out of your head! Can I buy it for $50!

Ness: (falls over)

Mouse: We’ll take it. (pockets the money)

(the healer puts a few drops of some liquid on the mushroom, and it easily pulls off)

Healer: (cackles and walks off)

Ness: (sits up) Thanks Mouse, you saved my life!

Mouse: Yes, I did save your life…

Ness: (a little nervous) Uh, you don’t want to be paid in cheese or anything do you?

Mouse: I think I’ll tag along with you, until I can think of some repayment. You can call me Exit Mouse, because that’s my name.

Ness: Cool! (grabs him and stuffs him in his backpack) You can ride in there until I need you!

Exit Mouse: Hey! Wait a second! (is buried in the backpack)

Ness: (throws his backpack back on) All this being controlled by mushrooms is tiring, I think I’ll head to the hotel for some sleep.

(Late at night, Ness is sound asleep)

Voice: Ness?

Ness: Voice?

Voice: Ness… I am a friend who you have never met before…my name is Paula…

Ness: (still groggy since he IS asleep) huh? What kind of a name for a girl is Paul?

Paula: THE NAME IS PAULA YOU MORON! DON’T MAKE ME…hey, how did you know I was a girl?

Ness: You said your name was Paula, that’s a girl’s name.

Paula: (getting mad) But you called me Paul! Not Paula!

Ness: I don’t get it.

Paula: Sheesh. (her voice fades away)

Ness: (wakes up quickly) I have to find someone called Paul! I mean Paula!

Exit Mouse: (calmly sipping an espresso and reading the Twoson Tribune on top of Ness’ backpack) We might as well find out who she is then, the tunnel to Threed is closed anyways. Perhaps in our finding this, Paula, we can inexplicably find the way to Threed.

Ness: Ok, then let’s go! (reaches for Exit Mouse)

Exit Mouse: (holds up his espresso) I’m not riding in your backpack again! It took me like 2 hours to get out of it. I’m riding shotgun! (hops on Ness’ shoulder)

Ness: (as they head outside) So, where do you think we can find this "Paula"?

Random Passerby: You’ll find Paula at Polestar Preschool. Just follow the main road. (walks off)

Exit Mouse: That was easy.

(They arrive at Polestar preschool)

Ness: (enters the school) Does anyone here know…(is surrounded by a few policemen) eep.

Exit Mouse: (dives into Ness’ backpack)

Policeman: We have apprehended suspect illegally entering school premises!

Ness: I just want to talk to, uh, (thinks for a moment) PAUL! I mean, PAULA!

Policeman: You seem a lot like this other kid hanging around town, red hat, black hair. That kid was ALSO causing trouble.

Paula’s Dad: (steps out from behind the policemen) Really officers, you don’t need to assault EVERYONE who comes to our door. (steps up to Ness) Paula said she’ll only meet with a boy named Ness.

Ness: That’s a coincidence, my name is Ness!

Exit Mouse: (whispers to Ness) How are you gonna prove it to him? You have no ID!

Ness: (gulps) You’re right.

Paula’s Dad: So, your Ness…(smiles broadly) You’re the one in Paula’s dream! You will save the world!

Ness: Yeah, hopefully.

Paula’s Dad: I’ll go get Paula (runs upstairs, then comes rushing back down) She’s not here, I wonder where she went?

Policeman: Well, Mr. Polestar, she WAS kidnapped like 3 days ago.

Paula’s Dad: WHAT?!

Policeman: We thought you knew, everyone else in the entire town does.

Paula’s Dad: (in disbelief) Why isn’t anyone doing anything!?

Policeman: (shrugs) We’re guarding your preschool, remember?

Paula’s Dad: (runs out the door) PAULA!

Milkman: (walks up to the door carrying a box of milk boxes) I’m here with the delivery.

Policemen: HE’S GOT A BOMB!!!!!!!! (tackle the milkman, splattering milk everywhere)

Paula’s Mom: (walks up to Ness) If you’re going to find Paula, please take her teddy bear with you. She loves it more than anything in the world, it’ll brighten her day up after being kidnapped.

Ness: (takes the teddy bear) I’ll make sure she gets it! (hands it to Exit Mouse) You can carry it, Exit, (they head out the door)

Exit Mouse: (thinks for a minute) the best place to find out about anything in Twoson is at Burglin Park.

Ness: How the heck do you know that?

Exit Mouse: I don’t, but it sure sounded like a good thing to say.

Ness: I agree. (they head to Burglin park)

(They walk through the park and end up at the house in the rear of the park)

Everdred: (jumps off of the house) I will destroy you!

Ness: Huh? (is bitten by Everdred) OUCH, what the heck is your problem!? (Smacks Everdred in the head with his bat)

Everdred: (grins)

Ness: (smacks Everdred in the head with his bat, again and again and again) WHY…WON’T…YOU…DIE!!!!!!!

Everdred: (falls to the ground) That hurt!

Ness: Okay, then tell me about Paula!

Everdred: (punchs Ness in the gut) NEVER!

Ness: (stumbles backwards) In that case, PSI ROCKIN ALPHA!

Everdred: (is hit by waves of cascading psychic energy) ack. (falls to the ground, again)

Ness: (advances on Everdred)

Everdred: Ok, you, win...I’ll tell you about Paula’s location...She went on some type of retreat to Peaceful Rest Valley...

Ness: I thought she was kidnapped

Everdred: Yeah, that’s probably it. Anyway, some guys kidnapped her

Ness: (getting angry) We already KNOW that!

Everdred: Yeah, I think she was kidnapped by this chubby guy, and this blue guy too.

Ness: That was...kinda helpful

Everdred: They said something about a human sacrifice...

Ness: That’s terrible! What if they make Paula watch their human sacrifice? Or perform it?

Everdred: Nah, they’ll probably make her the human sacrifice.

Ness: Hm, that’s bad.

Everdred: Yeah, you should probably get going to Peaceful Rest Valley. It’s to the East. If you don’t hurry, she could be dead already.

Ness: Yeah, that would be really annoying if I go all that way and she’s already dead (he and Exit Mouse head off again)

Everdred: Ugh, pain...

Exit Mouse: (as they pass by Polestar Preschool again) Hang on, Ness, I’ve got someone I want you to meet. (they head down the road and stop in front of a house with the sign "Apple Kid" out front.) Here’s the place!

Ness: Alrighty (they barge inside)

Apple Kid: Uh, hello?

Mouse: Hello, I am a mouse, no one has given me a name yet

Exit Mouse: Hello, Mouse, long time no see

Apple Kid: Who are you guys?

Ness: (strikes a dramatic pose with his bat pointed to the sky) I’m Ness, and this is Exit Mouse! We’re on a journey to save the world from an evil space alien named Giygas. Presently, we are on our way to rescue another member of our team who is being held captive off in the Peaceful Rest Valley.

Apple Kid: Is that all?

Ness: Yeah, that just about covers it.

Apple Kid: Well it’s nice to meet you, Ness. I’m Apple Kid, the inventor.

Ness: (shakes Apple Kid’s hand, then sniffs and starts to gag)

Apple Kid: Oh yes, the house is kinda dirty, and I really haven’t, uh, bathed in awhile. I’ve been pretty busy lately inventing new things.

Mouse: Plus, we don’t even have a bathroom

Apple Kid: Yeah, or a kitchen for that matter. Hey Ness, do you think I could have something to eat?

Ness: (hands him a hamburger as he stumbles to the floor, still gagging)

Apple Kid: (munches the hamburger) Say, since we’re such great friends and all now, how would you like to help finance my inventions? I could really use $200.

Exit Mouse: I’d do it if I were you, Ness. That’s why we came here. Apple Kid’s one of the greatest inventors the world has ever known! His devices will surely come in handy!

Ness: (weakly hands him the money)

Apple Kid: YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, uh, thank you. (runs over to a work bench) Time to begin!

Mouse: (as Exit Mouse drags Ness out the door) Here is the receiver phone. It only allows you to receive phone calls, not make them. Who knows, you may need it. (ZIPS out of their way.)

Exit Mouse: (not listening) A phone, huh? Thanks.

Ness: (recovers outside) The next time you have a suggestion, count me out, ok?

Exit Mouse: (plugging buttons on the receiver phone) I’m having trouble getting this cell phone to work.

Ness: (whining) Can we go to Peaceful Rest Valley yet? You’re bogging down the plot.

Exit Mouse: (still plugging buttons) As soon as I order a pizza.