Who you leave behind
Written by Heavily Armored Hamster

I remember that day
I was having a wonderful dream
About the two of us
Just talking
At a beach

Then he woke up

Thought he'd heard a cry
A plea for help
From a friend far away
A friend he'd never met

I don't know what possessed him
To go out on that long quest
It's not like he was obligated
They were people unknown
Complete and total strangers

But I guess he heard a calling
One louder than a single voice
Maybe the universe spoke to him
Maybe destiny whispered to him
What ever the voice, it was loud

He told me that he needed to leave
And that he didn't know the date
Of his return to the boarding school
I was shocked, horrified
But for some reason, I went along with it

I decided I'd see him off
I followed him around
Helped him gather his supplies
Gave him some advice
And then we got to the gate

I knew that beyond the gate
I wouldn't be able to see him
And I knew that the only way
For him to scale the gate
Was if I helped him

A part of me wanted to refuse
To deny him permission
Of traveling abroad
I wanted him to stay
Stay here with me

But I loved him

And I knew it would be cruel
To keep him away
From something he felt so strongly
That he needed to do

So I knelt down
Made myself into a step
He climbed over me
We then saw each other
On opposite sides of the fence

That's when I said goodbye
As calmly as I could
I tried to keep my cool
Didn't want to break out in tears
I said good bye, then he left

I stayed there for a hour
Standing there in the cold
I felt so incredibly lonesome
My love had gone away
Somewhere without me

I cried that day
I cried though no one heard
My tears slid down my face
Until they collided with the ground
And froze like a snowflake

Eventually I went back inside
I couldn't stay out forever
Not in Wintry Winters weather
I went back to my room
The one that i alone now shared

I felt dejected
Separated, tossed aside
Forgotten and replaced
How could Jeff leave me
For two he'd never met?

Those thoughts kept circling
Round and round in my head
They formed a halo in my mind

A halo of perpetual and repeating
Agony and grief

As the days went by
I realized that it was I who was selfish
Jeff was having an amazing experience
He was seeing the world
Possibly even saving it

I realized if I wanted to support him
I'd have to support him from a far
I'd have to pray for him nightly
Pray that his journey went okay
And the he lived day after day

I still think about him
Day after day after day after day
He's in the back of my mind
But I realize that I can't worry
Every hour of every day

I wonder rather distantly
What will happen when he returns
Will he have a met a girl?
Or perhaps another boy?
Will our relationship remain the same?

Could we still be friends?
I mean, he's going to see the world
He has to change and expand
While I stay hear in Winters
The same I've always been

I do not care anymore
If Jeff meets someone out there
I'd just like to see him again
Someday not too far away
Here in the boarding school

Until that day comes

I'll support him from afar
Praying each night
For health and security
Praying each night for his prosperity