Those who Desired to Touch the Stars
Written by Heavily Armored Hamster

We are the Starmen
Come listen to our tale

O, Fate forgive us!
O, Fortune Smile upon us!

All our mistakes realized
All our reprimands paid

We are the starmen
Come listen to our tale

Started a long long time ago
Upon our home planet
A planet of eternal flame
Of constant heat
Our bodies evolved
Into a certain special metal
That was the birth
Of the starmen

O, our beginning so humble!
O, our origins so meek!
Who would have thought
All the trouble we'd see

We began to develop
Morally artistically ethically
And we began a society
One to reach for the stars
That's how we got our name
For we are the men who desire
To reach out and touch the stars
We devised a vehicle
Of which we could ride
To the end of the system
And back

O, Our last day of innocence!
O, Our last day of liberty!
What made us go so far
Far away from our home?

We happened upon
A certain entity
Who greeted us
Greeted us cheerfully
We talked for ages
And he asked us
Just what we desire
Told it we wanted
To see the universe
And chart every star
For we were the Starmen
Men who desired

To touch the stars

O, that fateful encounter!
O, our youthful innocence!
We should have known better
Than to spill our hearts

The entity said that he would
Give us a method, a way
To go all the way
To the Universe's ruins
And return in one day
We thought it would be grand
If we were to receive
Such a wonderful gift
He said that in return
He'd need one small favor
And we agreed
Agreed so readily

O, that horrible monster!
O, that sinister deceiver!
We should have known better
Than to trust a plain stranger

He wanted to return with us
To our natural home world
We politely invited him
To visit our homelands
So he came along
But when we arrived
He floated into the sky
And started to emit a beam
This beam engulfed our world
He told us that this beam
Would destroy everything
Unless we agreed
To do his bidding

O, Heavens above!
O, Merciful Lord!
Please understand
We merely wanted to live

We agreed
But he was hesitant
He left the world
Only a brink from detonation

Warning that at the slightest hint
Of insubordination
He'd light the last match
And let our world explode
So we agreed
Agreed to work for him
To be his slave laborers
To be his mighty army
To be his very right hand

O, Such painful times!
O, Such hard decisions!
We did not want to help him
But we could not die so young?!

He gave us the ships
The ones we had exchanged
Our liberty for
Told us to travel to planets
And obliterate them
We did as he told
Destroyed entire sectors
Wiping out resistance
We destroyed many worlds
Including one most renown
The original home
Of the Mr. Saturns
Other planets were to survive
But were used
Their populaces enslaved
The Mooks, the Octobots?
We chained them all

O, Souls of worlds destroyed!
O, Souls of chains tightly tied!
Could you ever understand us?
Or even forgive us?

Our master grew very angry
For a certain point of light
A constellation shaped like a fruit
Foretold his defeat
Would come at a planet called Earth

He was furious
Furious at the prospect
Of the Chosen Four
He wouldn't allow it, he said
He would let it be so, he said
We were ordered
To take the world by storm
To destroy it all
Making most certain
That his final defeat
Could not arise
From it's smoldering ashes

O, humans-hear our tale!
O, humans-understand our cry!
We had no real agenda against you
We were only working under orders

Master's plans fell through
The prophecy held true
Master was defeated
By Ness, Paula, Jeff, and Poo
Earth was liberated
Along with every race
In the galaxy
Including all the Starmen
The men who so greatly desired
To touch the stars
We thanked the humans
For liberating us from chains
We apologized to them
For causing all of the pains
We then said our farewells
And took off into space

O, Citizens of the universe!
O, Liberated World!
Listen now to the final fate
Of those who desired to touch the stars

Our place in history most horrid
Are actions most cowardly

We decided that we had seen
Just about enough of the stars
We all gathered onto one great ship
And set forth
To a certain star
Very far away
To a point in the universe
Where there is no light
No light but that certain star
Our ship headed in
And then we were no more

O, What an end to a species
O, what a climax most fitting
For men who desired to touch the stars
And found their hands well burnt