Everybody's Free (To play earthbound)
by SLing

Ladies and tomatoes, of the class of 2000,
PLAY EARTHBOUND.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future,
Earthbound would be it.
The long-term benefits of Earthbound have been proved by tomatoes,
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis, or more reliable,
Than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your SNES.
....
Nevermind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your SNES until it's obsolete.
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at systems you've owned,
And recall in a way you can't grasp now,
How much power lay before you, and how revolutionary it really was.
YOU ARE AS INSANE AS YOU IMAGINE.

Don't complain about Earthbound 64.
Or complain, knowing that complaining is about as useful as trying to beat Earthbound without curing yourself.
The real troubles in your site,
Are apt to be things that never caught your fragile little mind.
The kind that blindsides you at 6pm on some idle Sunday.
DO ONE THING EVERYDAY THAT SCARES YOUR PARENTS.

D00d.

Don't be reckless with other people's sites,
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Eat.

Don't waste your time on IRC.
Sometimes you're an op, sometimes your not.
The game is long.
And near the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember video games you receive,
Forget the clothes.
If you succeed in doing so, tell me how.
Keep your old games.
Throw away your old designs.

Write.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life,
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 16 what to do with their lives,
Some of the most interesting 21-year-olds still don't.
Get plenty of blueberries.
Be kind to your webmasters. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll make it,
Maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have ops,
Maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll play earthbound at 40,
Maybe you'll end up doing the funky chicken at your 1st website anniversary.
Whatever you'll do, don't congratulate yourself too much. Or berate yourself either.
You're choices are half-chance.
So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your SNES.
Use it every way you can.
Don't be afraid of it,
Or what other people think of it,
It's the greatest system you'll ever own.

Play.
Even if you have nowhere to do it except your own living room,
Read the players guide and if you don't follow them,
DO NOT PLAY POKEMON, IT'LL ONLY MAKE YOU FELL STUPID.

*Sung*
Reidman and tomato, together you'll make it through.
Someday Sigesto will take you and guide you there!
I know,
You've been hurting,
But he's been waiting to be there for you!
And he'll be there,
just helping you out!
Whenever he can!

*spoken*

Get to know your webmasters.
You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be kind to your fellow earthbounders,
They're the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you when you're playing Earthbound.

Understand that topics come and go,
but only a certain few stay.
Work hard to build the gap between geography and EB.
because the older you get, the more you need the games you had when you were young.
Live in Onett once, but leave before it makes you fight.
Live in Happy Happy once, but leave before it makes you... strange.
Travel!
Except certain inailiable truths:
"Prices will rise,
Animals will become tame,
and you too will get old."
And when you do,
You'll fantasize that when you were young,
prices were too much,
animals were crazy,
and chatters respected their webmasters.

Respect your webmasters.
Don't expect everyone else to support you.
Maybe you'll have a t-fund.
Maybe you'll have a full bank account.
But you don't know when either of them will run out.

Don't mess too much with your SNES.
Or by the time you are 40,
it will look 85.

Be careful whose hints you buy.
But,
Be patient with those who supply it.
Hints are a form of rip-offs,
Dispensing it, is like dishing the guide out of the disposal, stealing it, and then selling it back for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the earthbound.

*Sung*
Reidman and tomato, together you'll make it through.
Someday Sigesto will take you and guide you there!
I know,
You've been hurting,
But he's been waiting to be there for you!
And he'll be there,
just helping you out!
Whenever he can!

EVERYBODY'S FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Oh, Everybody's free!
Oh yeah!
Everybody's free!