The Ballad of Ness
by Shivered McTimber

Now This is a story 'bout a boy named Ness,
Had some Psychic powers. He'd embark on a quest.
Then one day he was checking out some site,
And there in the ground was a meteorite...

Now In this Meteor was Buzz Buzz,
Who Told Ness he had to save the world because,
Giygas the Destroyer was on his way.
"Ness my boy, ya gotta make him pay!"

Now "Do Not Enter" signs couldn't make Ness stop.
He entered Giant Step, Got in trouble with a Cop.
The Onett Police Force was Cruis'n for a Bruis'n,
And Good Ol' Ness made it to Twoson...

As he traveled he met some poor man,
Who's daughter had been kidnapped at some Cultists hands,
With only his wit and a baseball bat,
He went to Happy Happy to get the Girl Back.

The Cultist leader was no match,
For our boy Ness and his Franklin Patch.
Paula the girl was now Free,
And on it was to Threed City...

Some evil spirits trapped the wayward kids,
In a dank dark pit where some Zombies used to live.
The two had no choice but to Pray,
And Hope Jeff Andonuts was on his way....

Jeff arrived and the group were on the move,
To Saturn valley to stop Master Belch and crew.
They drowned Master Belch in his own Puke,
But Perhaps this victory was only a fluke?

The Bus they took had to ditch 'em,
out in the desert under the hot sun.
They found sun bathers, some contacts, and a cave,
Filled with Monkeys and Talah Rama the brave.

Fourside was in big big trouble.
They needed some heroes there on the double.
Monotoli his up in his tower,
Manipulating the Mani Mani power...

With the help of some yogurt
They saved the town.
But Pokey got away,
That clown!

"We'll get him yet!"
Said Ness with a grin.
"We'll go to Summers,
We'll surely win!"

Summers was hot,
The prices were not.
With the help of a merchant seaman,
They went to Scaraba; beat big bad Kraken...

The pyramid was dark and scary,
They hurried on in the dark, dared not terrie..
"We'll get through yet. It'll be a snap.
If mummies bother us, we've got Mummy Wrap!"

From the pyramid they met Dungeon Man,
Who helped get them to Deep Darkness land.
At a Tenda village they arrived,
But no one spoke... They were all shy.

With some guts they were on their way,
To the Deep Underground Fobby-filled cave.
They reached the Lost Underworld,
Where Giygas's evil plot unfurled...

The team needed to go back in the time slip,
But none of their bodies could take the trip.
They all became robots overnight,
To defeat Giygas, make things allright...

Giygas was a sight to fear.
But worse yet, Pokey was here.
The four were outmatched this day,
So young Paula began to pray...

The friends the Four had met on their quest,
Began to pray for Ness and the rest.
Giygas was destroyed, it was all done.
Their spirits returned home, the battle was won.

And thus ends the tale of a boy named Ness,
Who saved the world, who passed the test.
We can learn from him. Never give up the fight.
And to all, I say goodnight...